Thank you!!

[Christina L]

Hello everyone,

I am just feeling well enough (mainly mentally) to get back on the board. I have been reading posts and wanted to send a big thank-you to all of you for your encouragement, prayers, and support over the last two weeks. Tomorrow, I will be two weeks out from the surgery. Hard to believe. I especially want to thank Ross and Melissa for their phone calls to Cleveland and for the genuine concern they showed to both Wayne and I.

However, I can't say enough about this board and all of you - you have become great friends and I know I would have had a much tougher time getting through this thing without all of you. Wayne would print off the posts and bring them into my room for me to read. They were so uplifting.

Right now I am in the mental battle of my life. As most of you know (especially Ross - hee) - I am a worrier - all my life - worry about the what if's, what is to come, etc. etc. My heart seems to be every present in my thoughts right now and I notice every little twitch and arrhythmia it makes. Sometimes the way it is beating, I feel it will stop. Did anyone else ever feel this way?? I am taking Ativan and that seems to help with the anxiety.

As long as I am busy, that helps. Wayne is going to bring down two huge tubs of photographs that need to be organized, from the attic - I feel this may help - give me something to do that is not too strenuous.

When I am more up to it, I will have more to say about my surgery. It all is too fresh in my memory and wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, but by the grace of God I made it through. ALL praise goes to Him for his blessings in my life right now.

I am so glad Gisele's surgery went well and will send out prayers for her and all others who have recently or are undergoing surgery soon.

Thank you again, everyone!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! We have so much to be thankful for.

Chris

 

[Ross]

You are now known and designated the forum worrier. Stop it right now. You are alright. Your going to drive yourself over the edge with what ifs, just forget about it. You did battle and you came out of it on the top side. Enjoy your life and stop the worrying. Let todays problems be sufficient for today. Tomorrow isn't here yet, therefor there is nothing to ponder. Did I tell you your alright yet?

Tell ya a little story that happened to me in ICU. Shhhh, be quiet now, I don't want anyone else on the forum to read this.

When I was coherent and coughing up blood from my trach site, I sat and cried my eyes out worrying that the bleeding was never going to stop and I'd have to go down for some more surgery to fix it. The surgeon came in and looked at me (I guess the nurse told him to come give me a pep talk or something) and he stands there with this silly look on his face then says, "OHHH WAAAAAAAA, so your bleeding, big deal. Ross you need to chill out! Here I am with these tears running down my face and just by him doing that the way he did, I burst out laughing and crying at the same time. I could've hit him cause it hurt to laugh, but the way he did it was so darn funny that I couldn't help it.

In the words of my surgeon, "Chris you need to chill out!"

 

[Nancy]

Hi Christina-

So nice to hear from you.

Of course, you're focused on your heart, who wouldn't be. It's sort of brand new in a way. It doesn't beat like the old one, doesn't sound like the old one, and it's sore. So that little organ has got your attention for a while. But you know what? It'll be an old friend as soon as things heal enough so it doesn't feel sore, and you WILL get used to it.

You have to be pretty patient now and let things just happen the way they're supposed to. If you feel anxious, allow yourself some self-pity time, and then tell yourself that's it's time to stop it. Your husband is right. Get your mind busy with other things. And pretty soon, you'll be able to go longer and longer without thinking about your heart. It's all fixed up now, and you just have to shake hands and make friends with it.

Take care.

 

[carlapv]

Hi Chris,
It is so wonderful to hear from you. I am glad that you are home and on the mend. I know that you are worried , I will be too, I am sure, but have faith and know that you are in good hands and that the little angel on your shoulder will continue to look out for you.

I,m looking forward to you getting back on the board, we have really missed you.

Carla

 

[bvdr]

So Glad to have you back Christina. I'm glad you are home and on the mend. Believe it or not you will get used to the new state of your heart. Don't worry about your heart skipping beats or feel like it is stopping. Irregular beats are really normal at this point of the game. And if it decides to stop there isn't much you can do about that anyway.

Your photo organizing sounds like a great idea. I hope it gives you many happy hours. Did I tell you it's nice to have you back?

 

[Georgia]

Hey, Christina - what, you worry

Hey, Christina - what, you worry

You know, when you first arrived here you were terrified and worried about the surgery and how you'd never get through it.

Guess what?!?! You came through with flying colors. All that worry on the plane, etc., came to naught.

Now it's time to let it go. Turn the TV or stereo up loud so you can't hear your valve, watch trash TV, stick your head out the door to smell the wonderful fresh fall air, walk walk walk breathe breathe breathe, nap nap nap. Time to smell the roses, kiddo. They've been given to you.

We're so glad you made it through; and I'm just sure you'll do well. Your worrying won't make anything better - just put more strain on your gallant little heart. So chin up and spirits up and plan your Christmas decorations and enjoy all the ordering around you can do to Wayne.

Let us know how things continue.

 

[RickKiem]

Christina,
Isn't nice to be home! I am having all the same worries as you but make myself realize that each day seems a little easier. I am so grateful that despite all the pain, worry and fear that the Doctors did what they are supposed to do and now all I need is time to heal. I saw my cardiologist today and after examining me he said, "Rick your heart problems are cured, just take things slowly and your strenghth will return". I got to thinking about this statement and realized that he was right. I am cured! Wow! The surgery seems like it was so long ago but we are both only fifteen days out. Before the surgery I could not imagine how rough the first few days would be but also how quickly I would start to feel better. If I ever get to where I can sleep when I want to then I think I will have this thing beat. As we do get to feeling better we must be careful not to do to much. One of the nurses in the CCU told me that she see's more people back in the hospital between three and six weeks post surgery becuase they get to feeling so good that they injure their sternum doing to much to soon so let's both be careful. I am glad to hear that you are doing well and hope that we both have smooth sailing from here on out!

Rick

 

[ccrawford]

Hi Chris - Hey Kiddo, you're past the most serious stuff and back in the world of the living who post on VR.com. That's great and we're all excited for you. I know its a temptation to worry about all the stuff that could go wrong - I'm a type A who is an expert at that, but listen kiddo, that gets you nowhere. Learn to relax a little, watch and enjoy the sunrises and sunsets, and all the other pleasures of life that you may have previously ignored. It will take a while for your body to get used to the new you, but that's how it goes. Focus on all the healthy stuff you need to learn to get even better and we all look forward to hearing from you as your ticker heals up. Chris from Indiana

 

[Karlynn]

Hi Chris,
So glad to hear from you. When it comes to worrying, I'm right there with you. It's work to take your mind off of what troubles you and switch it to something else. But the outcome means less stress for you (which is probably your biggest battle right now - stress rearing it's ugly head just loves to make you feel yucky)

Sorting through pictures sounds like a good idea - but if you find it's not taking your mind off of things, do something that is nothing but pure enjoyment. A good book, a good movie, some good music, friends, etc. etc.

You sound like you're doing great even though you may worry you aren't.

All the best,
Karlynn

 

[KathyH]

Hi Christina
It's nice to see you posting again! So glad you are home and over the worst part. Keep you mind busy with good thoughts . I'd send you some of my pictures to sort, but Ross says laughing will hurt, so I'll just keep them . Take care.
Kathy H

 

[fyrfytr]

Hey Christina,
I am so glad to see you posting again and that you are home and on the road to recovery. Just remember that this whole healing process takes time. I am sure you will notice how much better you feel each day. I think what really helped me was when I started Cardiac Rehab. I hope you will notice a big improvement when you start it.
Take Care

Dave
_________________________
Surgery: 4/21/03
Aortic Aneurysm Repair
AVR, with a St. Jude Mechanical

 

[Kathy]

Chris,

I felt just like you are feeling when I arrived home. I had been monitored and fussed over for 17 days and suddenly I was cut loose and didn't have a button to push when I needed to call a nurse.

Every ache and twinge (there were quite a few of those) seemed alarming. I was lucky that I had family from out of town helping out for a few weeks. They did most of the work and kept me distracted.

I sorted through photos, too. That was a good project. I hadn't watched TV for 13 years so I found a few mildly entertaining shows to watch. Several friends brought magazines and that was great. I had enough brain power to flip through "People" and look at the pictures.

I'm not always one to focus on the positive, but I knew it was crucial. I felt just a tiny bit better each day. I made a mental list of all the people who had supported me and said prayers of gratitude before each nap.

I'm glad that you are home.

 

[Heather Fisher]

Christina,

I'm so glad to hear you are home again. My heart....I could feel every beat when I got home and for several weeks afterwards. I had some problems with ventricular tachycardia. My cardiologist doubled up on the Toprol and no more problems with that. I still felt every beat though. Now, almost 4 months post, I don't feel it anymore. I'm up and walk a couple of miles every morning.

Just get lots of rest and try not to dwell on things. Time heals all wounds they say, and that's what your heart needs....time. Best wishes to you!!!!
Heather

 

[MelissaM]

Hi Chris,

Glad to see you up and posting. I was worried about you (ha! now it is ME doing the worrying. . . ).

They say that acknowledging a problem is half of the battle. If you are serious about stopping your chronic worrying in its tracks, there is help available. You can even start by typing "chronic worry" into Google. . .some interesting stuff pops up. Remember, you are in control of your mental status - you made it over the mountain, and you deserve to enjoy the ride down.

Keep us posted on your physical, mental and emotional recovery!

Melissa

 

[Kevin M]

Hi Chris. Good to have you back. Don't be too hard on yourself. It takes a while for the emotions to stablize. Don't be surprised if you have little crys or feel extremely happy or upset all within a few minutes. It takes a while for the body to "reset" so to speak.

Worrying and having concern regarding your condition is normal. I know that I felt afraid that if I did too much or pushed too fast that maybe things would break or something. As it turns out, our bodies are miraculous at healy and dealing with this type of trauma. Chances are that your body can far exceed the artificial fear induced limits we put on ourselves during this time.

Hopefully, over the next couple of weeks, the worry will subside as your breathing and walking exercises start helping your feel more spry and energetic.

There is a quote by the fellow who was first to reach the north or south pole (don't remember which). I think he said something like, "Most men will never come close to reaching the edge of their endurance".

It's not word for word, but it's the general point.

You are going to be just fine. Be patient, but my advice mirrors the others' here - keep busy and active. It's the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

So glad you're back.
Stay strong,
Kev

 

[tommy]

Hey Christina,

Glad to hear that you are home. I didn't want to make you homesick while you were in Cleveland, so I didn't post that my wife was visiting her Dad in EP the first weekend you were away. Her dad is a summer resident, often returns in the fall and sometimes in the winter. She saw a herd of about 300 elk one day. You can see Long's Peak from his place near Cheley Camp. Talk about being "over the mountain", what a beautiful place you live in!

As for the worries, that's natural. Just don't worry about worrying . I checked my pulse and my incision often. Every so often I would spontaneously take a deep breath and wondered what was wrong. I decided that being hypersensitive was part of the process of accepting what had happened to me.

At some point your progress will accelerate. I hope that is soon for you. In the meantime, keep reminding yourself that what you have gone through "beats the alternative".

Welcome home.

 

[bigbob54]

Chris,

I am so glad you are home. I really can't add much to what everyone else has said. They do such a good job with the kind words.
Just remember you will feel a little better each day. Keep up the walking, rest when you need to and appreciate the small things. Take advantage of your time off. Watch all those movies you wanted to see, catch up with old friends, read a good book. The time will pass quickly and before you know it, you will be back to normal. Don't worry so much. You have been through major, major surgery. Even so, you will be amazed at how fast you will recover.

Take care, and God Bless,
Bob

 

[mamsram]

HI CHRIS

HI CHRIS

Rough going huh? You fought the good fight and now can savor the fruits of victory.

One nite I'm laying with my head on the pillow and can hear my loud heartbeat. I listen and think, It could just stop and no amount of threatening, no amount of pleading, would change any thing. I moved my head away from the beating noise. Enough of that!

While I was coming down that mountain, I looked back and noticed you had strayed of the road and was off to the side for awhile. It made me a little nervous. I'm glad that you finally got on track and all is well. well, as well as can be expected.

Things are just going to get better, after all, we are in better condition than we were, right??
Keep smiling and improving, there is a newer you every day.