Something different about the heart?

[JCDavis81]

Hey all,

My rational mind knows the odds of something terrible happening during surgery are pretty small but sometimes, in my weaker moments, I worry about what could go wrong.

Doctors seem to treat the heart as just another organ and I try to tell myself to buck up and this surgery is no different than any other and worrying about death is just absurd.

But do you all think there is something different about the heart, or that we have all been taught there is something different about the heart? What I mean is, while phisiologically heart surgery is no more dangerous than say, i dont know - lung surgery, we're taught from a very young age that the heart is what keeps us alive. Literature, songs, movies and poems all tell you that the heart is the center of our being. While doctors may of course disagree, do you think these feelings that exist in society are what makes heart patients worry so much about what could go wrong? What makes us worry so much about having our "heart stopped"?

Has anyone else ever thought about this?

best,
Joe

 

[Ross]

Joe let me say that I'm a firm believer that the heart is the gateway to the soul. With that being said, yes the heart is what keeps us alive and that's what we've been taught relentlessly. It's bound to make you stop and think at times. Fact of the matter is, when it's your time to die, it's your time. There isn't a darn thing you can do about it to change the circumstances. All you can do is put your faith in God and go forth believing that when the time comes, that repaired heart is going to fire up again and work magnificently.

You can't worry about it, you just have to do it and believe that you will be fine. I found that before my second surgery, I was a complete basket case worrying since my first surgery was a disaster. I had thoughts of that all over again. When talking with the surgeon and asking what my chances were, he said 50/50 and no guarantees, he didn't want the family coming after him if something went wrong. I told him right then and there that I just had to trust in God and him that I'd be fine. I just couldn't handle worrying about it any longer.

 

[JimL]

Has anyone else ever thought about this?

All the time! Every bit of Afib is a foretaste of death in that the body doesn't live very long at all without the heart. You can be braindead and still alive -- many Detroit drivers are -- you can go without breathing for minutes, and without eating for days, but without the heart it is seconds. So, yeah, I think it is a pretty serious surgery to work on the heart, and to stop the heart to do so.
But, as Ross says, there's nothing you can do about it. You can't stay awake during the surgery to help the doc out here or there. Make your peace with God, put your affairs in order, and go to sleep. The doc can do the rest.

 

[TomS]

My brother preceeded me to the operating table by 11 years for his AVR. When it was my turn this past August, I asked him if he ever thought that he wouldn't make it. He told me no, and if that was how I felt then I shouldn't have it done.
I came around to believing that there was no way that I wouldn't make it. I asked the surgeon what the odds were that I wouldn't make it off the table alive and he told me "zero, I'll get you off the table". I figured the rest was up to me, they'll get it started again.
Secondly, I started to think about how long this thing had been chasing me (I knew since 1999), and that I was tired of running, and that it was my time to stop, turn around and settle it.
Best of luck in your process, that was mine.
Tom

 

[Rush20]

I think we all had similar thoughts prior to surgery. Because my diagnosis to surgery timeline was only 3 weeks, I didn't have much time to think about it as I was too busy being tested, X-rayed and pricked with needles.

I do remember being completely wigged out after the Angiogram confirming the need for replacement surgery and the night before staring at the ceiling.

I also remember a complete sense of calm right before surgery. I am religious and I prayed right before wheeling into surgery. I know I was not alone and felt a complete peace.

 

[Curtsmum]

Hi Joe, im trying to keep these thoughts at the back of my mind, they keep coming up and i was sure at one point that my son isn't going to make it through his surgery. Its very hard having these feelings because if you say it to anyone all they can say is he will make it. Ive had a hard time with this but i am now convinsing myself, he will be just fine. At the end of the day, thats all we can do, so heres to possative thinking . Heart surgery as come along way, so surgeons are more confident and i agree with Ross.

 

[JCDavis81]

You're all right -- we shouldn't worry about any of this really. Heart surgery has come so far that it's simply irrational to worry too much about death.

It's just amazing how much of our "life" we attribute to our hearts. I wonder if people who have other types of major surgery to other organs or parts of their body have the same feelings at times.

 

[Mary]

The night before surgery, I "looked" pretty long and hard at the possibility of not making it through surgery. I assumed I would survive it, but I knew there were no guarantees. There were no last minute preparations I could make to influence the outcome; the only option was to place my faith front and center and await the results.

I feel that my surgery was an experience that separates me from others. In some ways I feel I was blessed to undergo it. I was given the opportunity to really examine my life and recognize that the little things in life really are little things, and I should stay focused on the bigger picture. I believe I am a more joyful person and a bigger risk taker. I understand that there is only one life here on Earth, and when it ends, it ends.

So yes, to answer your question, I thought about it. The surgery is a big deal, but the odds are greatly in your favor. Keep your chin up, and you'll make it.

 

[Karlynn]

My Dad used to make a joke - that when he and my Mom got married they decided the he would make all the big decisions and she would make all the little ones. He'd say - we bought cars, houses and had kids and there still hasn't been a big decision yet!

I have kind of taken that joke and translated it into my life. Not that I let others make all my decisions! But that I really don't have any big decisions in my life. I've already made the big one - and that is to live by faith. For me, everything else is a small decision - sometimes tough, but small in the grand scheme of my life.

 

[hensylee]

Dear Joe. Heart surgery IS a BIG DEAL. It is one of the biggest deals you may ever come across. That is why VR is here. To help, support and reassure those who are facing it. We know if we don't have it, we're in big trouble anyway; we don't have a lot of choices except to get it done. Sure, something can go wrong but it is rare and the best we can do for ourselves is to have faith in our surgeons, study the entire subject as much as possible, weigh it all, accept what we must, prepare and then go on and get it over. Chances are definitely in your favor, but we have no guarantee when we get up in the morning if we have a whole day left and that's life as we know it. Your surgeons are very educated and practiced and I doubt they look at this as 'just another surgery'. None of us in VR look at it that way. We kid around but we are truly serious when it comes to the brass tacks.

I can almost guarantee that when you are over it, you will have a whole new and different outlook on life from the one you have today. Most of us feel this way. We are grateful in a new light.

Blessins......

 

[JCDavis81]

It certainly does change your life view doesn't it? After going though my first surgery 8 years ago when I was 16, my outlook on life was thrown totally upside down...and truly, I think I'm better for it. I'm calmer now than I used to be, find happiness in the simple things of life, and I'm generally less competitive than my law school classmates -- certainly a GOOD THING!

Its funny tough, as a teenager, I was much less scared about the whole ordeal than I am at times now. I guess I can chalk that up to the egocentricity of being 16. Nothing was going to happen to me, I was 16 and invincible!

Now, while still a youngin, its amazing how my outlook has shifted with regard to going through it again. I'm looking forward to jumping off the emotional rollercoaster that comes with surgery like this. Somedays I can't bear the thought of recovery and others I'm almost excited about the idea of it all. Odd me thinks.

I don't know exactly where this thread is leading, but thank you all for responding with your thoughts. I've said this before, but its so helpful to share these feelings with a community of individuals who have been though the same thing. Thank you.

Joe

 

[Ross]

Isn't it great that there are folks like us that know exactly that of which you speak?

 

[BAV Pt's daughter]

Mom was extremely worried also, as were the rest of us. She doesnt remember anything from the ICU except when she first opened her eyes and I was there along with dad. She said that was the best feeling, b/c it reassured her that she had really made it and everything was going to be okay. Just like the relief we got the first time she opened her eyes. I had bought her a stuffed frog (I am obsessed with frogs, you could say) to put on her tummy so she'd see it right away in the event that she should wake up the first time when we were not at the bedside. It's a scary thing, but I think that the utmost of confidence in your surgeon takes a lot of the horrible anticipation away, too. Keep your chin up...

 

[geebee]

Joe,

I just got back from a trip to the Durham area. It was very beautiful this past weekend to say nothing of the drive through the Virginia and West Virginia mountains. Certainly beauty that is felt with the heart and soul.

I truly never worried too much about not making it through surgery until my last one because the odds given were not too great. However, my last comment to the surgical team before I was out was "I hope you're all having a great day". They all laughed and I fell asleep feeling happy.

It is difficult to know your life center is being cut open and pieces taken out. I often wonder how different I am today due to surgery and what is due to simply experiencing life. I guess I will never know. I only know I have a respect for life that I am sure I would never have had if it weren't for my medical history. I feel priveledged that God felt I had the strength and decided to throw those curves my way. I hope I have made Him proud.

I like to think I now have a stronger life center and can give more since my heart valve was replaced. I am happy to be a part of such a wonderful circle.

Take care.

 

[Karlynn]

Joe, I think you have a great outlook on this process. You are wiser than your years because of your life experiences. I did chuckle when I read the part about the egocentricity of a 16 year old. As a mom, I can say "So true!".

I'm sure you will do great. You're young and strong and make thoughtful choices.

While no one wants to have to deal with the type of health issues we all deal with here, I can honestly say I wouldn't trade my life. I think it gives us an enhanced understanding of how precious life is.

(PS - my daughter will be heading to law school in the next year or so. Going through the teen years with a future lawyer was a "unique" experience. Can you relate? )

 

[JCDavis81]

Karlynn,

Its funny you say that about my life experiences. My father used to tell me after any of my heart troubles that they were all "character building" experiences and I should be happier for how much wiser they would make me. At one point along the way, I finally told him that I thought my character was just fine thank you and didn't need any more building!

And, I certainly can relate about being a teen and a future law student -- although I'm sure I remember my teenage years in a much rosier (and less argumentative) light than my parents would

Give my good luck to your daughter. The process of applying to law school can be a real pain, but it's worth it once you get there. I'm happy to pass on any advice if she ever needs it.

Best,
Joe

 

[Guest]

Joe,

I, too, know the feeling of being "less scared" at the younger ages. I had surgeries in 1977 (~4 years old) and March 1987 (~14 years old). I don't remember much of the '77 edition, but I remember quite a bit from the '87 experience. And, in none of those memories do I remember feeling the least bit scared or "what if"ish about the procedure. It was "matter of fact" that I had to do it ... and just something I had to do.

But, with the January 2003 surgery (the last one I've had ... my 3rd), I felt much more "apprehensive" of whether or not I'd make it ... or, in some respects, if I even wanted to make it.... But, make it I did ... and I'm all the better because of it .


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/quilt.html
"How much longer will they be around?" ... Don Williams ... 'Old Coyote Town'

 

[gijanet]

Hi!

Hi!

Been out of the loop for a few days. Welcome to the group. I can only answer from a parent's perspective, but we have been down this road four times now with our four year old, five if you count our two for one sale this past July.

On a symbolic sense, yes, much of our very being ( our life, our love, our hopes and dreams, our future happiness) is attributed to the heart, so that makes this surgery become so much more frightening than other major surgeries. However, having said that, again from a parent's standpoint, I would be no less frightened if my child were undergoing a lung transplant, a kidney transplant, a brain tumor removed............in fact, I think I would be even more frightened (if that were possible) if my child were undergoing neurosurgery. I mean the head being sawed open...........your brain............yes, your heart can still beat, but if you can't think rationally, if you have no quality of life, if you can't dream..................what good is that?

And yes, at 16, you were "invincible" and no fears. Surgery before this last one, at the ripe old age of 3, Katie just waved goodbye to her crying grandmother and said, "Don't cry, Grandmommy. Me be back soon. Me just goin' to have heart surgry (sic.)." And she did, and we were. Bottom line: God gets the last vote, but odds are you'll be back soon.

Just my two cents. Many hugs. J.

 

[OldManEmu]

I agree with Janet that neurosurgery would be a far more concerning prospect. Your brain makes you who you are not your heart. Your heart can take being stopped cut up and then restarted with a bit of luck. The bypass pump and everything else is geared to keeping your brain oxygenated and alive. I was far more concerned about brain damage with my surgery than dying. Joe your father does have a rather unusual idea of what constitutes "character building" activities for his son.

 

[Cris N]

Is there something different about the heart? Absolutely!!! It's the engine that keeps the body running. And just like every other 'motorized' device every now & then something needs to be maintained. Some maintenance issues are small - like an oil change and others are large - like a motor replacement. The rest fall somewhere in between. Heart surgery is certainly at the upper end but the mechanics are well trained and they really like referrals from a satisfied customers.

What makes us worry so much about having our "heart stopped"?

I think one answer is quite simple - we 'know' that if the heart stops beating we die. Artificially keeping someone alive with the use of a pumping machine seems so unrealistic that we forget that "The first heart lung bypass machine was first used on a human in 1953." That's 50+ years of keeping people alive during open heart surgery!

It's not a walk in the park, but it's not a walk off the gangplank either. This gathering of survivors represents only a tiny number of the open heart surgeries performed. Here are some interesting stats from American Heart Assn.:

How many open-heart surgeries are performed each year?

In 2002 in the United States, these procedures were performed:

Valve replacements 93,000
Bypass (cardiac revascularization) 515,000
Heart transplants (performed in 2003) 2,057
Total open-heart procedures 709,000

"I try not to worry about the future -- so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time." (Tom Wilson)