Ross (Wed)

[SuperDragon]

I went in today before class. He was in his new little room in the corner, although it's still in CSICU. It's really depressing, they have "mitts" on him (gauzed all over his hands, wrapped in tape, so he can't take out his tubes because he did earlier today.) He was crying alot and he feels that he's missing alot. Everytime he tried to rub off the mitts and couldn't he'd cry and it just takes a toll on me when I see that. He's been really fussy today, but he was really aware today, and the first thing he did when I walked in was motioned a kiss with his lips then started to cry. It's depressing and sad. More soon.

Steve

 

[amy]

You must be exhausted! Your father obvioulsy loves you very much and appreciates your visits. The support of his family may be what motivates him to fight and slowly get better. It must be very frustrating, but remember you do see Ross progressing in small steps. Hopefully, everyone will be home together soon

 

[EVELYN]

Steve....Please reflect for a minute on how he was 3 weeks ago...he truly is improving, now he's beginning to deal with how much he's missed and how much he considers himself a burden on you guys. Don't be discouraged....look at the long range picture. He is getting better, albeit very small steps. You, too, will heal as will your mom. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it's tough on everyone, I'm sure. Keep the faith a bit longer, it surely will get better.

Evelyn

 

[Mb]

Dear Steve:

Thank you so much for the post. I just cannot imagine the strain this must be on your family. May God bless all of you.

Marybeth

 

[sylviayasgur]

hi steve!
please have faith and be patient. evelyn is right, your dad is making progress; even "baby steps" count.
he is aware and upset, which although it's a good sign, must be very upsetting to you.
please try and stay strong and positive for him.
you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
please wish ross all the best and please let him know that we are eagerly awaiting his posts.
stay well, sylvia

 

[Nancy]

Hi steve-

Your dad is finally starting to awaken. He's starting to be aware of his surroundings and you and the rest of the family. He knows how sick he's been and may even have an inkling of how long he's been in the hospital. He can't do anything for himself, his hands are useless and taped up, he probably can't talk. He's stuck in that bed, in a dreary room, minute after minute, day after day 24-7, with nothing to do but get frustrated at what condition he's in. He has to rely on other people to take care of all his bodily functions, clean him up, and all that other stuff. What an invasion of a human being's privacy. It's one thing to be out of it and be in this condition, but to be awake, well, it's like some kind of torture.

If it were me in that situation, I'd be crying also.

When you and your family come to see him, that's the bright spot in his day. You're his only link to the normal world. No wonder he's happy to see you. It's like the sun coming out after a storm.

He is getting better and that's the most important thing. Everything else can be worked on. If he's depressed, there are meds, and there are meds for just about everything else that ails him. The fact that he's alive and improving is super. He's been in a very dark hole for a long time.

So take care of your self, dear Steve. Put on your brightest shirt and widest smile for your dad. You're the son/sun in his life!

 

[srwieland]

Hang in there Steve. Our prayers are still with you.

 

[JimL]

Steve,
Thanks for the updates; I too always look for updates on Ross first.
I remember what a pool of emotions I was after my surgery. I could cry at anything. Ross certainly has reasons to cry over the long time he's been out of the loop, but a large part of it may just be that overly emotional condition that follows surgery.

 

[Johnny Stephens]

Don't Fret

Don't Fret

Steve, thanks for the update. Please remember that the heavy sedatives and other medications will make him VERY emotional. When I first woke up I would cry when I was happy and would weep at the sight of other happy people. I broke down weeping watching an Elvis Costello concert on TV because everyone was having so much fun.

My 7yr old's class wrote letters to me, and put them in a book. When she brought that to me, I was Mr. Weepy for several hours.

Don't fret too much about this, it looks to me like he is making progress.

 

[John Cochran]

Hi Steve,
I can really sympathize with what it's like seeing your dad like this. My dad was in a horrible car accident last spring, and had a recovery that lasted several months. He went through clinical depression during this time, not knowing if he'd ever recover, being stuck in a hospital bed with tubes, drugs, etc. What seemed to help was to explain to him each little step of improvement. We tried hard to let him know that he was getting better, but that he really needed to cooperate as much as he could. He is now home and recovering, albeit with a ton of pins, screws and plates in him. But the main thing is, he is his old self again (not sure that's a good thing) and he got through the depression. During the roughest time, though, I think a number of family members had bouts with depression; it is very hard to see a loved one in such a vulnerable and debilitated condition.

While my heart goes out to your dad, and I wish him the best possible recovery, I am hoping that you and your family take good care of yourselves and have faith that your dad will get through this.

--John

 

[Granbonny]

John, sorry to hear about your Dad

John, sorry to hear about your Dad

I almost cried reading your post. My Dad is 88 years old and doing great..even tho we lost Mama last Oct...they had been married 66 years. Going to see him this weekend. Was dreading the ride over, but after reading your post..I am thankful he can still take care of himself..I feel like Ross is over the hump and thank you Steve for posting so often...I just cannot wait until Ross is in his own private room. We should all pick a date to bombard him with cards the same time... I'll be sure to let's post a date to mail them. Bonnie

 

[MarkU]

My depression was the hardest thing for me to handle after my surgery. I could handle the physical aspects okay, but the emotional reactions are so difficult to deal with.
The best thing you can do is to continue to be there for your dad.
God bless you and be with you.

Mark

 

[Bill Hall]

Steve - I just can't imagine what your father is going through. I will continue to pray that he is up and out very soon. Please keep up your postings, since we care about what's happening to Ross.

 

[John Cochran]

Thanks, Bonny

Thanks, Bonny

Granbonny,
Thanks for your kind words. I guess what I learned through this ordeal is that, in spite of differences, we each only have one dad. While I often swear that mine is going to drive me nuts, I now reflect a little more on everything he has given me, and some of the positive attributes I inherited from him.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost mine also a few years ago, and I think that our dads have a tough time after so many years of marriage.

Anyhow, Steve, if you read this, I want to tell you that all of us here certainly see some of the wonderful attributes you've inherited from your dad. Thanks again for keeping us posted.

--John

 

[Jennie]

Hey Steve,

You hang in there, man. Just take it one day at a time, and keep the thought in your mind that in a few months or so, this will hopefully be just a big bad dream. Happy days are ahead, and although the road is long and hard, it does lead out of there. We here have not forgotten about you, this is why I logged on here tonight. Hang tight with the weepy stuff - the whole scene is a roller coaster right now. I had a fairly "good" surgery experience, and about this time (five or so weeks), I was home bawling my eyes out every day until I hooked up with some meds for it. I'm sure it's freaky to see your dad like this, but it's normal, and "normal" means good...!!

Bring him in stuff to tell him about your classes, talk to him about topics for your term papers, find some way to involve him in what you're doing. It will be a connection for him to the "normal" world, so that he doesn't feel that he's missing EVERYTHING, and it will make him feel needed and useful to you, not a pain. Give him some stuff to think about in those hours that he's laying there by himself all day.

And maybe this isn't the right advice here. None of us are there, none of us really know him or the situation as you do. But we are here for you.

prayers,
JEnnie