Recovery with young kids at home

[jlgreiner3]

Hi,

I'm scheduled for AVR this Thursday 9/15 as well as a repair for an ascending aortic aneurysm. I have two young girls, almost 2 and 4 years old, and am looking for advice on recovering at home with such young kids. They'll continue to go to daycare during the day, but with the youngest not old enough to understand what's happening, I'd love to know anything that people have found helpful.

Thanks,
Jaime

 

[Ryanvs]

Good Morning - I had a mechanical aortic valve installed April 12 this year and then went home to a 1 yr old and 4 year old after 4 days in hospital.

The oldest understood that 'daddy was sore' and he was great. Really gentle around me, and didn't try to 'jump' on me or anything.

The youngest was a bit different. Obviously she didn't understand it and would get upset when I couldn't pick her up or play with her. She had just started walking too so she was constantly tripping over herself and trying to climb things she shouldn't. Due to this a few times I went to reach out to catch her when she was about to fall and this, of course, lead to me overstretching and hurting myself (I didn't damage myself, but the pain wasn't pleasant).

I would of course hold my kids when sitting. I would be sure to have a pillow covering my chest and have someone else put her on my lap. I would also have someone close by - just in case she tries to jump down or stand up.

My only other advise is to try to stay out or harms way and never be alone with the kids. If they hurt themselves for example, there is only so much you can do physically without risking doing damage to yourself.

 

[jlgreiner3]

Thanks Ryanvs! Awesome to know it's possible. If you don't mind sharing, what type of mechanical valve did you get? Anything else you found super helpful for yourself in recovery at home?

 

[cldlhd]

Ya I would try to stay out of harms way for awhile. I explained the situation to my son ( 8 at the time ) and then he became overprotective of me. I came home on a Friday and went to his basketball game no Saturday morning . I was definitely a bit on edge with all the kids and basketballs bouncing around but I made it.

 

[Ryanvs]

You're welcome, jlgreiner3 . My mechanical valve was a CardiaMed - http://www.cardiamed.com/surgeons/surgeons.html
- I found walking daily helped (and is almost a requirement to help aid in recovery). I started off with 3X5 minute walks each day for the first week, then 3X10 for the second etc. You will likely be given something similar to do upon discharge from hospital.
- For the first 2-3 weeks whenever I went in the car I took a pillow to 'hug'. Perhaps a bit over the top but I really felt every little bump during the first few weeks. Everyone's pain tolerance is different (and after playing contact sports for years I thought mine was ok) but I felt a lot of pain during the first 4 weeks or so. More than what I imagined to be honest. Medication helps!
- Rest! For the first week or so at home after my midday walk I would have a sleep.
- Take your time and don't push yourself too early. It will be frustrating to be limited to what you can and cannot do. I couldn't even change a nappy at around 5 weeks as my daughter kicked too much and I was 'too weak' to hold her still enough to do it.
- Eventually, you will recover and be back to your 'old self' with the exception of the valve of course. I'm now 5 months and I hardly feel any pain, just a little bit of 'stiffness' across my chest in the mornings. I can now do a few pushups, play golf without hurting for days afterwards, pick up both kids (10kg and 20kg) mow the lawns, run, carry heavy baskets of laundry etc etc.
My biggest issue during recovery was my own mindset. I worried a lot!. Is this normal? Should I still feel sore? etc etc. Remember everyone recovers differently, some faster than others. some feel more pain, some less. Some get really emotional, some don't. Take each day as it comes, some will be easier than others. One day you will feel great, the next like crap. Be patient and listen to your body.

 

[Trinalovescats]

I had MVR and in Tricuspid Repair,and always wondered since I don't have kids what would happen after I get home from the hospital.I couldn't lift anything for 8 weeks.
I'm 4 months post op and my 20 lb cat is upset that I can't pick up yet!

 

[Trinalovescats]

He thinks he's still a kitten

 

[Trinalovescats]

Your still recovering so don't rush anything.
I still nap in the afternoon because I get tired easily.
Everyone recovers different,take one day at at a time

 

[Protimenow]

My kids were 11 and 13 when I had my OHS. They knew what was going on, so I can't comment too much about young kids after OHS.

One thing that I learned is that you can't play hide and seek with them and expect to be able to hide by standing behind a closed door. They'll probably hear you ticking.

There's one other thing that I should mention - and this belongs in its own thread. I've seen some writing about 'losing' something of yourself after OHS. After surgery, something is different about you. It may not be related to anesthesia - other procedures take longer, and people haven't reported this kind of thing. The idea is that something of 'you' is in the heart (or something).

At first, I discounted this theory. Thinking back 25 years....I'm not so sure that this didn't happen to me.

 

[dornole]

With such young kids and winter coming maybe be careful about respiratory germs? We got pro at this when we brought home fragile preemie twins from the hospital with 3 preschoolers at home. Alcohol-based sanitizer on the way in the front door for all of them, every single person every thing they came into our home. I am pre-OHS (I had a non-surgical procedure) but my understanding from others is that sneezing or coughing after OHS (God forbid vomiting) will hurt like nobody's business.

I was also surprised how upset my 18 month old was. I was in ICU for 5 days and he would not even come over to me when I got out, he was so mad that I had been gone. I had to bribe him with candy.

Do you have a co-parent for evenings and weekends when the kids are not at day care?