Pre-surgery panic & anxiety

[MrsBray]

Tomorrow morning.

The house is clean, the freezer is full, the bag is packed. I read the books, I have a journal. And, yet...

I know my feelings are not unique to me. If I stop being busy, I start to dwell on the "what-ifs." I know how easy it is to say, "Just don't think about them!" and I know how hard it is to stop thinking about them once I've started!

I'm spending this afternoon with my dad & stepmom, and my mom is coming in tonight. So tomorrow morning the Princess of A Lot and her entourage will proceed in a stately manor to the Castle by the Bay (Morton Plant Clearwater). Prince Charming by her side, followed by the King of It All and His Wife, and the Queen of Everything. Tears will be shed, hands will be wrung, hell, there may even be gnashing of teeth (Wife vs Queen maybe???).

And then a new era will begin.

Stories are good. Humor is good, it quells the panic. I see those who have gone before me, those who are going this week, those who are earlier in their journey. I know there is hope, and healing. I wish I had asked for a chill pill.

Love you guys, thanks for the support, I can't wait to be able to pay it forward. See you on the other side!

XOXO
Meredith

 

[DebbyA]

Best wishes for a successful surgery and smooth recovery!

 

[Boston Tiger]

You're almost there! Soon, you will be actively involved in the recovery, which is so much better than that L O N G wait leading up to surgery. Hope you have as few bumps in the road as possible!

 

[Mentu]

Meredith, "Don't Panic". This a big event in our individual lives and a wonderful one. How many people receive a diagnosis of a dire health problem and then are told it can be fixed? By now, you know that valve replacement surgery is among the safest and most beneficial. Take a deep breath and consider how wonderful it is that your valve can be replaced so that you can go on to live your life. My Grandfather Ted didn't have that chance and died with his damaged valve 6 years before the first successful valve replacement as will many of the people in the world diagnosed today. Surgery is escape to the future from a condition that is terminal.

As you have no doubt read many times in posts here in VR, the experience of surgery and recovery are going to be better than you imagine. Surgery itself is a nothing since you are not conscious of it. In recovery, especially during the early weeks, you will feel better every day and by summertime you should be able to do just about anything you can imagine. Your surgeon and cardiologist may suggest that you put off sky diving for a few months and they may frown at boxing but that still leaves a lot that you can do from the day you get home. I took a short walk down my block the day after I got home. One block and back left me exhausted but it felt so good to be able to do it because I couldn't the day before surgery without becoming quite ill. On that first walk, my neighbor, Bob, asked "Aren't you suppose to have heart surgery soon?" When I told him that exactly a week ago I was in surgery, he was stunned "Should you really be walking now?" I had to laugh and reassure him that not only was it safe but that I needed to walk to regain strength.

You, too, are going to shock people because their preconceptions of what heart surgery is and how people respond to it come from a time decades ago when one might stay in the hospital for weeks. You will probably be home in four or five days and when you get home you will be pleased to find that you really don't need the hospital support. It was just so nice to lie down in my own bed without anyone coming into to do the routine checks and pokes.....and the food is so much better at home. Really, Meredith, it will be better than you imagine and in a short time you will be wondering at all the energy spent in worry. We worry when we encounter new things that are scary. BUT, this is a path that all of us older members have walked. You will be ok and soon you will be telling new members "Don't Panic" because you know what awaits them.

Larry

 

[escargome]

Meredith, Special hugs and vibes coming your way from California. I know "don't panic" is in fact easier said than done, however, soon all this will be but a memory. So don't keep looking for that pea, princess....
I will be thinking of you tomorrow and looking forward to your post saying that you are over that mountain....

 

[Paleowoman]

All the very best for tomorrow….and for a speedy recovery ! See you when you get back here !

 

[maisiejane]

Good luck Meridith, will be thinking of you xxx

 

[Sten Osis]

We're all pulling for you! Be sure to keep us up to date on your recovery.

 

[Carol]

Another well wisher
here,good luck tomorrow.See you in a couple of days.

 

[njean]

You are so funny! And you will be just fine!

We'll be waiting to hear all about it.

Godspeed!

 

[Jkm7]

Your sense of humor will serve you well in the upcoming days.
Wishing you all the best and looking forward to hear how well you are doing when you are
ready to give us an update.

 

[Anya]

Just wanted to wish you all the very best. You'll be entertaining the medical staff in no time with your great sense of humour!

 

[epstns]

Larry (Mentu) - Thank you very much for how you have described the phenomenon we all experience. You finally reduced to words some of the feelings many of us have experienced, but couldn't voice. Someone should "pin" or "sticky" that post, as a comment to be read by (or to) all who will travel this way.

Meredith - Think of it this way -- all of your hard work is done. You have made all the decisions and choices, and now all you have to do is be there and do what they tell you to do. Just "go with the program" and you'll be just fine. I should know -- I hit almost all the speed bumps on the road to recovery, and I'm still just fine and love to tell about it.

Another thought we often share with those a few steps from the OR door -- While this may be one of the biggest life-changing events in our lives, for our care teams it is truly "just another day at the office." Whatever happens, they know how to deal with it. I've experienced this, too.

 

[clay_from_nj]

A lot of how you feel going in depends on your outlook and experience so far. I was suffering pretty bad CHF before my surgery and had put it off longer than I should have (for various reasons, my own fault) and so actually looked forward to it. Having had an OHS as a child, I knew that the actual operation would really be nothing, "close your eyes, open them again, and it's done" and just couldn't wait for how much better I would feel afterward. From the time I really woke up (in the regular room, not the ICU that I don't even remember) I could feel the difference, like I had finally gotten some real rest for the first time in years.

 

[MrsBray]

Well, today marks 4 weeks since surgery, and I'm feeling a LOT better than I ever thought I would. I was sure that recovery would be agonizing, I would be on pain pills, and moving slowly.

My last pain pills were 2 days after surgery (with the exception of the random acetaminophen when I over-work myself.) I've never been in a lot of pain, even in the hospital. I walk about a mile, 3x a day, and I can start driving again. Doc says I'll be on a roller coaster by May 1st.

The worst part was the 24 hours pre-surgery and the 48 hours post surgery. Once those damn drainage tubes and catheter come out, it just gets easier and better.

It's wonderful to be on the other side!

 

[river-wear]

Thanks for checking back in on this thread! I'm glad to see the predictions were true and you're feeling much better.

 

[MrsBray]

6 years today! EAT CAKE!