Post-op anxiety

[uncanni]

Hello all, I'm new to the forum and this is my first post. I'm a 65 yr old female who had my bicuspid aortic valve replaced with a biological one on June 13. I had to go back to the hospital on June 30 for three days for afib and fluid in my lungs, but I've been pretty good since then. Except for my emotions: I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety, which makes my heart afib a little. So it's a vicious cycle of irregular heart beat which increases my anxiety, etc, etc.

I live alone (with pets) so I've been my own caretaker with a little help from my friends. I guess not the easiest situation, but it is what it is. I'd like to hear about other folks' emotional journey back after open heart surgery. I feel like my entire being--not just my body--has been traumatized by the surgical procedure, and I am realizing that it's going to take a lot longer than 8 weeks for me to feel back to normal.

Finally, from what I've read, I conclude that this surgery induces afib in a large percentage of patients, which I really hate. What is it about the procedure that screws up the heartbeat? No one seems to know. It seems to me that the procedure is still in semi-primitive evolution if the afib result is so high. In case you couldn't tell, it's a real challenge for me to feel upbeat at this point in my recovery.

Hope I don't sound too whiney, and I look forward to dialoguing with you all.

 

[pellicle]

Hi

sorry to hear about your roller coaster. Just wanted to add first that from what I know a-fib is not common, and I'd never heard of it till coming here (and I've had 3 Open Heart Surgeries (OHS)).

this study suggests between 6 ~ 10%
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000913/

The heart is a complex feedback system between its own timer and input from the brain as well as other systems which exist but I'm sure we don't know about yet. Imagine you took apart a complex machine and put it back together .. there is always some "reassembly" issues. Many small nerves are cut or simply "bruised" in the process, so its to me not surprising that "something" goes amiss.

Some people develop a-fib all on their own without the provocation of surgery, so from another point of view "if it can happen, it may".

Post surgical depression is a known and difficult problem and (in my experience) manifests differently in different people.

This is a good link to start with on the problem if you've not already found that:
https://www.healthline.com/health/de...r-heartsurgery

Myself this last operation (in 2011) was the worst for this, it was my third and I know that I had a bunch of emotional issues after it, however at the time I didn't see it that way and felt variously unhappy, worthless and unworthy. My wife was an excellent support and helped me till I was feeling less "worthless" on my own.

I'm the sort of guy who likes to do things (achieve things working on the house, on the car, my motorbike, at work, mentoring younger developers) ... after surgery I took some time before I could feel that I could do those things. I also suffered a cognitive impairment which is hard to explain, but for instance I couldn't reliably add up without putting it on paper and using a pencil to do it like a grade 5 kid.

I am sure everyone is as different in their response to this stuff as they are in how they feel about anything, so I guess my favorite saying of "know thyself" is critical here. Cos really only you'll know best. Its hard to be healing yourself when you feel that you need the help of others, but in the end that is what happens in all psychology issues (you have to heal yourself).

I hope you have friends to talk to who are intelligent (emotionally as well as intellectually) who can assist you, but the first step is talking honestly about what you feel (yes, even if it seems quite irrational).

The next step (to my thinking) is to focus on the glimmers of your past self that protrude into your daily life and say "hey, thats who I was" and head for that.

Humans are "creatures of habit" and feeling bad can become a habit, try not to let that happen.

Lastly talk here, I'm not the most "emotionally communicative" guy and what I say may or may not strke a chord with your own thoughts, but there are some others here who (of course) have different ways to express themselves who may indeed strike a chord with you.

Engage and see what comes of it

Best Wishes

 

[JLmatus]

Hi

Sorry to hear about your post op issues. I had aortic valve replacement surgery in May 2017. I also went into full blown A-fib 3 days after my surgery. Luckily I was still in the hospital when it happened. I underwent a cardioversion procedure which jolted my heart back into regular rhythm. Then I was prescribed Amiodarone which I took for 2 months. Things have been pretty normal since.

As for your anxiety, It's normal to feel anxious after major surgery. Your body was subjected to a major trauma. It took a few months until I started to feel mentally normal. Every little ache or pain would stir up some anxiety. Things will eventually settle down though. At some point I suspect you will be offered and/or required to attend cardiac rehab classes. These classes will reassure your that you are not alone in your road to recovery. Also this forum really helped me through the whole process. It still helps me.

Good luck with your recovery and hang in there.

 

[pellicle]

.... I'd like to hear about other folks' emotional journey back after open heart surgery.

I'm not sure if you added the bold and underline after I replied, but if you read my reply you'll also find I talked about that too. (in case you dismissed it as it started with something else first)

 

[LondonAndy]

When I had my mechanical aortic valve fitted in September 2014, we had an excellent briefing session, led by cardiac nurses, on what to expect both during and after surgery. The way that they described the recovery process is that the body is amazing at effecting the physical repairs and diverts energy from other parts of the body to achieve this. As the brain is the biggest user of energy in the body, it is not surprising that diverting energy from it can have consequences. As has been said by Pellicle, depression is fairly common, and we were advised not to take any major decisions in the 3 months after surgery. Thankfully I did not have any depression - in my case I knew I was going to need a valve when diagnosed with stenosis a few months earlier, and I think I was happy to have come through the surgery with so little pain throughout, and physically felt so much better quickly afterwards.

So try to focus on the positives: it's over, think of the alternatives! Things will get better with time. You are right that anxiety feeds on itself and is a destructive force. Don't ignore it - seek help and support.

 

[honeybunny]

Monring, uncanni. I was 61 when I had OHS in Sept. 2015 to replace my stenosed bicuspid aortic valve with a bovine one. My daughter was living with me at the time but traveled frequently as a flight attendent, so much like you I was alone with my dogs and IPhone. In my case, I think I felt relieved that I can through surgery OK. The diagnosis just 3 months prior stunned me. I had no clue I'd been born with a BAV, let alone that it was stenosed. I was having shortness of breath, but attributed to years of smoking and my weight until it got bad enough for me to undergo a stress test.

I also have depression (chemical imbalance) and anxiety for which I take medication, so that may have kept me from becoming anxious post-surgery. My physical recovery was a bit slow going due to pleural effusion, and I sometime felt I wasn't recovering quickly enough. But I posted about my concerns here and received plenty of reassurance that each of us progresses at his/her own pace, as will you.

Keep us posted on how you are doing. We care.

Hugs,
Michele

 

[uncanni]

Dear pellicle, JLmatus, LondonAndy and honeybunny,

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your prompt responses to my post! Everything that everyone has said makes me feel so much better and part of a community which has undergone the same thing I have. Today is the beginning of the sixth week since the surgery--a milestone.

The anxiety bout has passed, and I did the things I knew to do to help myself: I did slow breathing exercises, lay down and rested a little bit more, and read some Buddhist literature to remind myself that anxiety is a deception and that compassion starts with myself. This helped me to replace the negative thoughts with affirmations:

I am so much better than I was 4 weeks ago;
Things are really going to get better and better in my life;
Thank the cosmos that the surgery is behind me, after 10 years knowing that it was coming;
I have a small group of truly supportive friends and some helpful acquaintences;
I'm extremely grateful for the loyalty and constant affection of my dog;
My heart is healing; I must treat it with the utmost respect, compassion and gentleness I can.

I appreciate you guys!!!!

 

[Zoltania]

I'm very glad that the comments here helped you. There have been some good previous discussions about the emotions associated with surgery and recovery, including this one started by workmonkey :

http://www.valvereplacement.org/forums/forum/post-surgery/853373-post-surgery-anxiety

One motto that has helped me is "Don't believe everything you think." If I have an anxious thought, I try to remind myself that it is (a) probably not true and (b) transitory. Sounds like you're on a similar track and heading in a good direction.

 

[Homeskillet]

For some ultra odd reason I was in denial about my post-operative anxiety - and made some enemy’s along the way that I wish I would not have made. Feel quite angry with myself about it now. My fault. Of course, having 2 OHS within 1.5 yr(s) surely added to my anxiety.

The fact that you identify this is a very good thing IMO. It will definitely get better the farther you are away from surgery - and this forum is phenomenal! All the best!

 

[Agian]

Thank the cosmos that the surgery is behind me, after 10 years knowing that it was coming

You're welcome.