Personal Question

AJC62 · May 3, 2012

Hi GymGuy

Thank you for responding. I'm not sure what they are going to do as far as surgery. I asked him to let me know what the surgeon in NC had to say and he said he would but I have yet to hear from him and I don't want him to feel like I'm bothering him. I spoke to him last on Sat. night. I know he is very depressed but I don't understand why he won't get in touch. Sometimes I feel like asking if he still wants me to be in touch but then I know that his mind isn't in the right place now so maybe I should just leave that alone and call or text him. I realize he is in a bad place now and very worried and scared to death over this but I am struggling here to.
Sorry to go off on a tangent here - and I appreciate your feedback. That is great that you were up and walking so soon after surgery and working out the way you are now after 5 weeks. Good for you!! Thanks for your advice and help - I really appreciate it!!

AJC62

TheGymGuy · May 3, 2012

ACJ62, this might be a stupid question, but why don't you fly/drive/take a bus to wherever he is and spend time with him. Give him a weekend (or weekends) of support and show him this board. I believe that if you are there in person this might just be the thing he needs.

I got a book that might help and would be happy to share it (also in my sig), though, you would have to share it with someone else once you are done with it.

He needs to really accept that this surgery will happen, he will be ok, and once he has recovered this will be but a memory. This is a fact. The risk of surgery for the most part is 1% or less for replacements/repair. His chance of dying without surgery is crap load higher.

AJC62 · May 3, 2012

Hi GymGuy
I can't since he is with his mom. I would have to email you privately since it is kind of a complicated situation and personal and I haven't seen him since January. He said to me back in the middle of January that he doesn't have the capacity to be anything to anyone and he hasn't even seen his friends or maybe they have visited him. I think he just feels so lousy all the time and maybe thinks he doesn't look well and wouldn't want me to see him like that? I don't know!! I would love to read that book - I will do that and maybe pass it along to him. I agree, he definitely needs to accept this especially since he is only in his mid-thirties....

Thank you again!
AJC62