Parents

[Birky]

I was just curious to see how many of us are taking care of an elderly parent in some way. I just have my Mom( and good friend) left and have been running myself ragged with her in the hospital. Had a GI bleed Sunday and had 3 pints of blood yesterday. Had both the upper scope and lower. All came out good. Taking her home today on my lunch hour and she has agreed to the lifeline which I am thankful for. Going to have my daughter-in-law clean on a weekly basis and might set up meal on wheels. This is so difficulty when you work. Haven't been home much all week. My husband is very understanding about the crappy meals and messy house. Just not enough time in the day. I live about 6 blocks from the hospital so I can walk over in the evening. My sister and I were discussing who was going to take care of us when we get old. Another friend suggested that we never tell our kids when we pee our pants as we get older because then it is nursing home time. Completely different generation. I only have one daughter who has RA so I don't think this will much help. I think at 57 I will stop worrying for a while. My Mom is 85 and really hasn't been sick before the last year. Have a nice long weekend everyone.

 

[LUVMyBirman]

Hi Marsha,

I feel for you. My mother was in that position with my Grandmother for a few years. It was very difficult on her. If you are a hands on person (as she is). Want things your way, etc. It may be more difficult as you cannot control the actions of her other caregivers.

That is where Mom had her issues. Gram was put into a nursing home and my mother still continued to visit her on a daily basis. Bring her hot meals, take her laundry home to wash. Everything they were paying for at the care center. That's just the type of person she is. Now both herfelf and my father are in pretty poor health and my turn in coming. My sister and I will work out a schedule when the time comes. If they can physcially take care of their personal needs we talked about having them move in with us if things get rough. I don't have any issues making meals, cleaning, etc. You do need to draw the line somewhere. If they don't have control over bodily functions...... that's a whole other can of worms. Mom did attempt this with Gram before arranging nursing care and it was not a good scene.

We all want the best for our parents. I would hate to think my daughter would send me to a nursing home.....but if I can't take care of myself....it's the best alternative for everyone. I actually toyed with the idea if additional surgery is indicated. I felt like a huge burden on my family at that point.

Hang in there Marcia!

 

[Birky]

Parents

Just brought her home and all the nursing staff hated to see her go because she was such a good patient. My sister and I will take turns doing what is necessary. She is okay with her personal stuff but cleaning etc. is where we are going to get some help. She still drives so I hope that does not become an issue. They are so good at work about taking off for parents or family stuff. Bosses have a young family so they are always doing something with family. thanks,