Brian,
All of the above is excellent information in handling the emotional challenges that can arise during such a major operation, or life change for that matter. I imagine the emotions can vary as much as our own life circumstances varied before OHS and after.
I had read a book about preparing for heart surgery that said some patients can get depressed initially post-op and I believe it indicated that being on the heart/lung machine for longer durations can temporarily impact your brain chemistry (not sure how that works, how often it occurs or how accurate it is, but it sounds plausible). And of course, there are a lot of things to assimilate into your life after such a large event, so it’s only natural to have ups and downs.
My gal kept reminding me that I was some kind of great “heart survivor”, she even gave me a medal, though at times I didn’t feel so great when dealing with a few bumps during my recovery. But for me my first two months home weren’t too emotionally harsh as I felt invigorated (well almost) about all of the improvements I was making week to week. It was kind of exciting to see how steadily one could improve after such a big operation. From doing many daily slow-motion walks in our house (we had a nasty winter that year so couldn’t get out much at first), to running laps in the hallway, to taking long walks around the neighborhood, I felt challenged. Even putting away a stack of dishes was a great milestone showing I could reach up high with my arms. Those milestones kept me buoyed up.
But my gal had to go back to work after the first 10 days home and after being alone at home for a long stretch I started to battle some emotional let downs (some took a while to shake off). Over time things really improved, I was back to playing regular golf at the 3 month mark and doing work projects around the house and really felt my physical strength and heart making steady improvements even all the way up to the 15th month mark. I seemed to be helping people at a temporary work project I was working on (at least that’s my story) and doing some occasional volunteer charity work, so I was gradually getting back into the swing of daily life. I imagine the activities and interactions one has can usually help stave off most down-times, but it sounds like many here have felt it, even if your dance card is full it still takes a little time. For some, it’s just another part of the recovery process, but it should always be watched and given serious attention where needed.
Keep the long run in sight, you’ll get better each week, and although not everyone will understand your new post surgery perspective and what you went through or still go through, you’ll find that some people will, you’ll get stronger both on the outside and the inside, and of course those on the forum will always understand. I think I’ve learned more in the last few years about myself and what others go through, that although it doesn’t totally make up for having my chest cracked open, it does go a long way. You’ll get over the bumps, and like others said, don’t hesitate to ask for help and do the activities and friendships that you find most supportive.
