hasher98
Member
A few days ago, March 29, to be exact, I passed my 1 year milestone after valve replacement.
In the days leading up to then I was actually looking kind of forward to it as some sort of momentus occasion, but life got in the way (as it often does) and I only realized after the fact that March 29th had come and gone.
It is difficult to believe that a mere 12 months ago I was waking up in CICU following an 8 hour ordeal to replace my aortic valve and repair a couple of aneurysms in my ascending aorta. Except for the ever-present scar that faces me each day, I don't really feel that I had anything done.
Except for the difficulties the surgeon had during my operation to get me switched over to the heart/lung machine, my recovery was relatively smooth. Of course I had some discomfort following surgery, but nothing extreme, and though I had a bit of an knee injury during the period of time when I couldn't use my upper body when getting out of a chair, and I developed a hernia at the bottom of my chest incision which I just recently got fixed, the whole physical part of the ordeal was much less demanding than I expected.
I am actually having a bit of disappointment over the relative lack of impact that this episode has had on me. I knew for approx. 20 years that at some point my valve would have to be replaced, and I guess I had the whole deal built up in my mind to be something more than what it was. I think I expected some great emotional/spiritual insight would be gained by going through the experience of having my heart stopped and rebuilt, and at first it kind of seemed like that would be the case. But over time, as I said before, life crept back in and any significance attributable to the surgery receded.
I am not really sure what I thought would happen, but I have always heard of people having great personal insights and revelations following life or death situations, and I guess I am just wondering where mine are.
But here I am, one year and a few days out, glad to be alive, but still wondering what it all means. Maybe it doesn't mean anything more than I am lucky to be living in a time when surgeries like what many of us have had are more commonplace and far less risky. I guess that should be enough.
In the days leading up to then I was actually looking kind of forward to it as some sort of momentus occasion, but life got in the way (as it often does) and I only realized after the fact that March 29th had come and gone.
It is difficult to believe that a mere 12 months ago I was waking up in CICU following an 8 hour ordeal to replace my aortic valve and repair a couple of aneurysms in my ascending aorta. Except for the ever-present scar that faces me each day, I don't really feel that I had anything done.
Except for the difficulties the surgeon had during my operation to get me switched over to the heart/lung machine, my recovery was relatively smooth. Of course I had some discomfort following surgery, but nothing extreme, and though I had a bit of an knee injury during the period of time when I couldn't use my upper body when getting out of a chair, and I developed a hernia at the bottom of my chest incision which I just recently got fixed, the whole physical part of the ordeal was much less demanding than I expected.
I am actually having a bit of disappointment over the relative lack of impact that this episode has had on me. I knew for approx. 20 years that at some point my valve would have to be replaced, and I guess I had the whole deal built up in my mind to be something more than what it was. I think I expected some great emotional/spiritual insight would be gained by going through the experience of having my heart stopped and rebuilt, and at first it kind of seemed like that would be the case. But over time, as I said before, life crept back in and any significance attributable to the surgery receded.
I am not really sure what I thought would happen, but I have always heard of people having great personal insights and revelations following life or death situations, and I guess I am just wondering where mine are.
But here I am, one year and a few days out, glad to be alive, but still wondering what it all means. Maybe it doesn't mean anything more than I am lucky to be living in a time when surgeries like what many of us have had are more commonplace and far less risky. I guess that should be enough.
