No more tears here!

[Rain]

It would be a cold, cold world if we didn't remember our dead.

It would be a cold, cold world if we didn't remember our dead.

When I found out I needed OHS the thought of not making it was a huge fear..... normal reaction to such news! Soooo although I understand where you are coming from.... I just don’t agree that its inappropriate.

I don’t think that section will be the first place people go. They come here looking for information and find it, as they do they find that we are also a pretty compassionate, close knit group of people.... and that we honestly love and care about each other. By then they will probably take a look at the memory section and find the tribute to our fellow heart buddies as fitting as we do.

I’ve been with vr.com since before it was even vr.com. I’ve formed friendships as close as any I have in person. Over the last almost seven years they’ve been with me not only through my own surgery, but my son being diagnosed with Marfans and a dilated aorta. They also were there for me through my Mom’s death. And the good times as well! ... they saw my two boys graduate from college, my oldest son get married and my becoming a grandma. I couldn't begin to write all the happenings involving vr.com.... I'm happy to know our friends will always have a little place to call home in vr.com.

Vr.com is more than facts and medical advice..... that’s why having a memorial to our friends is appropriate.

 

[sue943]

Are we also going to ask people who didn't have a 'boring' operation and recovery not to post of their problems too, should they be censored so as not to upset people waiting for surgery? At least there is honesty here, the bad experiences are told as well as the good ones.

I think all of us have found out a certain amount about our conditions prior to surgery and we know that some of us will not make it, some will either die during surgery or within a fairly short period of time following surgery, be it weeks or months. I almost died two weeks after my surgery, should I just ignore that or rejoice in the fact that I survived a complication, that complications do not always end in death? Most of us will survive surgery AND will live for many years to come.

Anyone with a loved one undergoing OHS who then suffers with complications can take comfort that some of have also had the same or similar complications and are here to tell the tale.

Had I died I would like people to remember me.

 

[EVELYN]

Well, Daniel, if you really feel that way, I bid you "ADIOS!!!!"

Evelyn

 

[MarkU]

Well said, Hank.

Mark

 

[hensylee]

It was Memorial Day and I believe that day is not just for military.

We share births, deaths, illnesses of all sorts, pregnancies, weddings, graduations and pictures, because we have all become close over the months and years and genuinely care about each other. We rejoice together, celebrate together, cry together. That's pretty close friends.

When a new person comes to VR, I am sure they are like most - fearing what is going to happen. Our memorial page shows the low percentage of losses and reinforces the safety of valve replacement - that's if you care to look at this in a practical way.

I hope we can always honor our members, no matter where they are.

 

[MarkU]

Although I wholeheartedly support the inclusion of the In Loving Memory section, I do think that Daniel is entitled to express his opinion also.

I don't think that Daniel intentionally meant any disrespect to the list of our friends who have died. I have to admit that it is difficult for me emotionally to look at it also.

We all deal with things differently. I think it is only part of human nature to want to avoid those things that are painful and hard to deal with. Unfortunately we can't always do that. I personally believe that those on the list are in a better place and have been made whole in body and spirit. Those of us left on this Earth must work through our personal fears and pain of loss to celebrate their lives.

Mark

 

[Ross]

Just a note so you all understand why this was intial deleted and then brought back. It was posted to begin with, inside the ILM forum. I considered that a very strong show of disrespect. To me, that was the same as walking into and ancient burial ground and raising hell. Had this thread been started here, there would not be a problem with it. I'm in no way trying to deny anyone their opinion, but when I have a sticky post in that forum that specifically asks that people not post everyday things or spam in there and then I find this thread, delete it became. I had Hank look at it and he wanted it to continue, so I moved it out of the ILM forum to here.

Just so the record is straight.

 

[catwoman]

I think I understand what Daniel was saying.

However, we frequently read mention of vr.com members who -- for whatever reason -- didn't make it. I've often searched their names to learn more about these individuals. Some were gone before I became acquainted with vr.com; some passed away after I became a member. It helps to be able to find them readily and get to know them, even if it's posthumously.

And these are sobering reminders -- even though I doubt that any of us really need a reminder -- that heart surgery isn't "routine," as we are frequently told pre-op by well-meaning people.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

We are not coming back untill this section (In Loving Memory) is buried...
Ciao!

Daniel -

I'm sure there are many things in life you do now wish to see or be a part of and that you simply avoid them.

My suggestion is that if you don't like that Forum, DON'T GO THERE. That doesn't mean you have to leave the others.

I'll leave it at that. It's up to you.

'AL Capshaw'

 

[gadgetman]

From the humble point of view of a psychotherapist, this section doesn't help anybody.

From the humble point of view of BUBBA, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???????!!!!!!!!

In simple terms, we are born, we live our life (hopefully touching others along the way?more good than bad) and we DIE. That?s fact Daniel. Ain?t no getting around it. As a Christian (and I hope I don?t wind up offending anyone) I KNOW that Death will not be an END for me. I will just change my address (hope I can at least get DSL up There ). That belief, coupled with all my family here and elsewhere, got me through my climb over the mountain. Our ?family members? mentioned in the ?In Loving Memory? forum have touched all our lives in one way or another. Their thoughts, fears and hopes touched each and every one of us and should NEVER be forgotten. If you will note, some got over "our" mountain and were able to continue to enjoy life to its fullest until the end. This forum pays special tribute to those that have come thru here and, by doing so, touched many people. As others have said, we have or will face a wide range of emotions on this roller coaster of Open Heart Surgery. Some of us are fortunate and have a mostly uneventful journey but to mask those who have a much harder time would not truly benefit those facing this trying time.

Daniel, please continue to post and join in discussions here. You, like everyone else, have a special place in this ?family?. Your opinions are valued here and respected (FOR THE MOST PART ).

May God Bless,

Bubba