Hi Steve,
Nobody warned me about feeling like I couldn't trust my body post-surgery but that is something I have really been struggling with. If I were in your shoes and got a heart infection without understanding how the bacteria was introduced into my body, I would feel very unsettled too. In talking about trying to avid endocarditis as it relates to dental procedures here is an excerpt I wrote on another email discussing dental work and medicine dosages:
"My surgeon told me that no one really knows how much anti-biotics to perscribe prior to dental appts. or surgeries etc... He said there is really no proof the antibiotics even work as people who didn't take antibiotics prior to dental procedures get endocarditis and people who did take antibiotics get endocarditis. He said there is no sound research that proves it helps. This is evidenced by the fact that the dosing reccommendations have changed throughout the years (He inferred the reccomendations change because the medical community is always experimenting with what they think is the "right" dosage, but they don't really know.) I can attest to this since I have been taking anti-biotics before dental appts. since I was eight. In the early years I had to take a handful of huge pills before and after my appt. The dosages have varied greatly over the years and now I think I take 2 pills two hours before.
So, I said to my surgeon, " What your saying, is that I should take the antibiotics before my appt. and then I should pray?" He laughed and said, "Yes!"
Eventhough you have no idea how or why your heart became infected the first time, the truth is we are all vulnurable. Even though we may feel more secure taking our antibiotics (and who knows maybe it does help) the truth is anyone who takes the antibiotics could still get endocarditis, from your experience, it sounds like people who haven't had dental procedures can still get endocarditis.
My sister is an ICU nurse. We have been discussing how fragile I feel and how I could keel over dead from a number of complications. My sister said that as a nurse, even though she is in perfect health, she feels vulnurable too because the patients she takes care of remind her how vulnerable we all are. She told me about this woman in her late 20's who came into the E.R. with flue-like symptoms and was dead 10 days later. She had spinal meningitis and her body went crazy clotting all over the place, they amputated her legs and were going to have to amputate her arms....awful. Thankfully she died after her family decided to withdraw life support. Who can explain why she got spinal meningitis and suffered so, and then passed away?
I don't know if your religious, I am and I believe that God has a plan for each of our lives. Trials in our life usually stem from one of two places...the first are trials that come as a result from our own bad decisions (like robbing a bank, or lying etc...) Then there are trials that have nothing to do with choices you have made, they just happen. Bad things happen to good people and those are the kinds of trials I think Heavenly Father allows us to experience for our own growth...to stretch ourselves and become better people. So you can't make sense of why you got sick or how to prevent yourself from getting sick, when there is no logical explaination of how you got sick in the first place. My Dad always said, "work as if everything depended upon you, and pray as if everything depended upon God." That's what I try to do. I don't mean to sound preachy. There are probably many who would totally disagree with what I am saying. But this is what has helped me through this crisis. I hope you find something to help you.
Best wishes to you! --Janea
