My hearts about to break!!

[Guest]

Alicia,

I, for better or worse, have not had the experience you are going through right now, so I'm not even going to pretend I know how you feel. When my ex gf dumped me last year, I had no idea (at the time) that she had been "introduced" to someone else...I didn't find out until months later...that was a bit devastating to me....so I can only imagine what you are experiencing right now....

As a mostly-single guy for all of my life (except for those 10 months I had a gf, June 2001 to April 13, 2002), I have never understood why people have affairs of any sort. I guess it's true...the grass is always greener on the other side...as one of my friends made it clear to me when he found out (mid-year last year) his wife of 10 years had been having an affair for about a year...I was there for him, but he told me that he wished he was like me...never (thus far) married....

Hmmm...and for this to be happening in the middle of your health issues...I'm sorry.... I know I could not have handled a break up very well had it happened this past December or January (around my Jan 6 open heart surgery).....

Peace...Always,
Cort S, pig's valve & pacemaker-enhanced 29/swm
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[ALCapshaw2]

Hello Alicia,

I'm so sorry your husband placed this additional burden on you.
I pray you find the strength and support to carry on.

The only comment I can add to what has already been expressed is something I remember reading either here or on a Bypass Support Board and that is NOT to make any MAJOR decisions for a year following major surgery.

You have a lot on your plate. Take one step at a time.
Best wishes,

'AL'

 

[Bill Hall]

Alicia - I would like to give you my support like the others. I know you have gone through enough recently and this doesn't help. I am looking forward to seeing you get through the health problems first. I have also been married 25 years and I know it is not so easy to just get up and leave.
Bill

 

[Bunny_Rabbit]

Hi Alicia,

I'm not going to pretend that I know what you're feeling, because I don't. I think it's a horrible situation that you've been put in. But I would have to agree with Al on this one, I don't think it's wise to be making any major decisions right now. I'm not saying to forgive your husband for what he's done, I'm just saying that you shouldn't make any decision in the heat of the moment.

I wish you all the best, but you've got look out for number one, yourself.

 

[John Cochran]

Yet another point of view.

Yet another point of view.

Alicia,
I am very sorry that you have to deal with this difficult situation. Since I don't know either you or your husband, there is really no way to give you any sound advice other than to say that human beings are complex creatures and sometimes behave badly...which does not necessarily mean that they are a "bad person."

I hope you can find a way to objectively evaluate your relationship, and decide what is in your own personal best interest for the long haul. Take your time, and don't let any one tell you what you should be feeling or what you should do about this. However, professional counseling can be worth its weight in gold. Situations like these have many variables, and only you can make the decision as to what's next. Insults lobbed at your husband certainly don't help you cope, especially if you plan on giving him another chance. Please ignore those, and make your own evaluation based on all the factors; ultimately, you need to decide whether your life will be better without him or with him.

Regardless of your decision, please know that we all feel for you in this difficult time, and wish you the very best resolution possible, whatever that may be.

--John