Looking for advice on how to support.

[Guest]

a wonderful friend of mine is having vavle replacement surgery in a week and a half and I just want to make sure I'm doing all I can to keep his mind at ease. I can tell he's getting nervous and I want him to know he's not alone, but I'm at a loss with all of this. I've never been through anything like this personally. Well on his side.

 

[pellicle]

listen ... that helps a lot.

reassure him that its fine, reassure him that in a short time surgery will be all in the past and that its one of the most successful surgical interventions in modern medicine.

It is after all just replacing a valve ... the amazing work is all the stuff that goes into the surgery, but after that the body does a great of healing from it all and he'll be back doing normal things, only better, soon.

 

[epstns]

Well. . . you found us, so why not introduce your friend to us, too? With the lot of us as remote "friends" and you as the local interpreter, it may help.

Pellicle is spot on, though. Valve replacement surgery has become one of the "safest" major surgery procedures in recent years. Mortality rates are extremely low (typically just over 1%) and recovery is quite manageable, even for elderly patients. Younger patients recover more quickly, but most all can "make it back" to the lifestyle they had, or even better, fairly soon after surgery.

Tell us more, and we may be able to help more.

 

[Ladybug]

a wonderful friend of mine is having vavle replacement surgery in a week and a half and I just want to make sure I'm doing all I can to keep his mind at ease. I can tell he's getting nervous and I want him to know he's not alone, but I'm at a loss with all of this. I've never been through anything like this personally. Well on his side.

I’m being processed to get TAVR soon. I once had a 14.5 hr surgery and the word anxiety doesn’t even touch how one can feel. Sit with him in a quiet place. Hold his hand. Tell him to close his eyes and take very slow deep breaths thru the nose and hold it a bit then exhale. As he does this, tell him to picture putting his stadium chair in a beautiful stream. Tell him to sit there and feel the beautiful stream come rushing around his feet. Feel the gentle breeze as it swirls and twist the canopy of trees above. See the glints of sunlight. See the smooth rocks near you. (On and on. I think it’s called visualization). I read about doing this meditation in a book by Bernie Segal called LOVE, FAITH, and MIRACLES. When I had breast cancer, I would visualize that I was in a valley surround by mountains. On the radiation table, I chose to mentally not be there. I closed my eyes. I visualized that something bright comes over the hills. I look up and see angles on horseback. Huge glowing men with large wings on powerful white horses appear at the top. They draw their glowing swords. They gallop down the hill and sweep through my body removing all cancer cells (or protecting me from a surgical mistake.) Bernie Segal was on to something. I belong to a group of 200 women in SC with a bad medical problem and I’m the only one still alive. (I hope you don’t think I’m a nut case.)
Also, hold his hand, or rub his head. Your presence and caring is the best thing that could happen to him. He’s very lucky to have you.
Send a portal messsge to the dr and ask for something for anxiety. It’s common to need a little help. Tell him to receive it.

 

[Protimenow]

According to the date on your original post, this surgery was done about two years ago.

How did it go?

What did you do to support your friend?

Others who come to this site, with similar questions, would probably be interested.

 

[Duffey]

According to the date on your original post, this surgery was done about two years ago.

How did it go?

What did you do to support your friend?

Others who come to this site, with similar questions, would probably be interested.

Protimenow, I don’t believe that Ladybug was the thread starter. I believe Ladybug is referring to her own experience as a breast cancer survivor.

 

[Carnelian]

Don't say it is common as my friend repeated constantly and annoyingly.
Avoid cliches and truisms.
If you can't think what to say, say nothing.

 

[Protimenow]

Protimenow, I don’t believe that Ladybug was the thread starter. I believe Ladybug is referring to her own experience as a breast cancer survivor.

I must have been thinking of another thread.

 

[Protimenow]

Don't say it is common as my friend repeated constantly and annoyingly.
Avoid cliches and truisms.
If you can't think what to say, say nothing.

Who are you directing this to?

 

[Carnelian]

ladybug OP

 

[Protimenow]

I just ignore that ****.

 

[Warrick]

Was ladybug op? Thought it says “guest” as the op

 

[carolinemc]

Protimenow, I don’t believe that Ladybug was the thread starter. I believe Ladybug is referring to her own experience as a breast cancer survivor.

I guess you did not really read Ladybugs post very well, for she did not mention breast cancer, she was facing TAVR.

 

[Duffey]

I guess you did not really read Ladybugs post very well, for she did not mention breast cancer, she was facing TAVR.

Caroline, reread her post. She states that she had breast cancer and used guided imagery to help. I accept your apology in advance.