Hi Zoe
and welcome.
One of the most difficult parts of my post-open heart surgery life is feeling isolated and not knowing other people who deal with my issues daily.
well you've come to the right place because as Chuck and Dick have suggested here we help with the practical and do our best to care for the psychological side too (neglected as you say).
There was little attention to mental health and the impact on it of having this major surgery or living with a machine in your heart afterwards.
it feels weird. I feel vulnerable.
no doubt it feels weird because you got here with almost no lead in. Can you imagine going from being a well adjusted 10yo to being a 17yo over night (or worse an adult with a mortgage and a car on finance)? (watch "
Big" again)
I also feel like a sick person because I must take warfarin and have my INR monitored monthly. That means a visit with my primary care doc and then a blood draw at an outside lab.
well we all have to make adjustments to life, and not everyone gets to be a text book picture of health till they die. Imagine if you had suffered:
- ulcerative colitis and required a permanent colostomy bag
- kidney disease and require dialysis while waiting for a transplant (then the anti rejection drugs and the inevitable next kidney surgery after that...)
- become diabetic and require insulin
- got cancer and go through serial remissions after horrific and soul sucking treatments (chemo, radio ...)
If that sounds like I know people who fit in those categories its because I do. Some are already dead.
So in my view non of taking warfarin is a bad thing, heck its not much harder than if you were chronically over weight and had to take statins.
I feel like a Guinea pig in that the doc adjusts the warfarin dosage each time the blood test results are out of range.
well I propose that you instead take control (gradually) and enter the world of self testing and then shoot for self administration.
You'll feel empowered and actively engaged in it all. Its actually not that hard.
Also, in all reasonable likelihood you now have the best shot at not needing another surgery, so that may make the change more palatable.
It is after all just a matter of adjustment and adjustment always takes time.
So fish through past posts and then shoot some questions across the bows here.
Best Wishes