Letters to the kids?

[ChicagoMammy]

Chicago Mammy, wanted to let you know that I had successful heart valve surgery yesterday at Northwestern. You, too will have the same results and we'll be back on our feet in no time! Maybe I'll see you in the halls.

Delighted everything went well! Hope to join you in the halls in a few days.

 

[Goldadamgold]

I had aortic replacement valve sparing surgery on March 10 at Cedars Sinai in LA. I'm 46, with three kids -- Boy, 14, and boy/girl 9 year old twins. And I struggled with writing letters or videos or doing something under the rubric that "Everything is going to be fine but just in case it's not..." Ultimately, I felt it was too maudlin and macabre for me to focus on not surviving. But I did feel the need to make sure my kids had some kind of... I don't know, not closure, but a goodbye that might have to last their lifetimes, I suppose. My solution was based on the fact that you can't bring any valuables into the hospital. So, the night before I went in, I gave my daughter my wedding ring, and asked her to hold on to it for as long as it took me to come home. I told her that if she missed me, she could wear it around her neck and it would be right near her heart. She loved it and put it in her jewelry box to be sure and care for it. Then I gave each of my sons a watch. One my inlays gave me when I got engaged to my wife; one which was my grandfather's. And both boys said: Uh... what if I lose it or break it? i think you should just keep it in a drawer...

So, it almost worked. But just making the attempt made me feel better going in. And when I came home, my daughter presented me my ring and told me she checked it every day and wore it on her necklace when she missed me. I don't know if this tactic would work with older kids, but for what it's worth, it helped me when I was at my most morose and afraid.


Adam
BAV, AVR, aneurysm repair/aortic root replacement
March 10, 2014 Cedars Sinai