Latest Dr. appt.

[tobagotwo]

I've been reading your posts for so long, and I never have anything useful to add to what's said. Just know that I'm thinking of you and your family, and the trouble you're having. I know you're not looking forward to the next step, and I hope things come out the best way possible for you.

Best wishes,

 

[gijanet]

Oh, Niki...........

Oh, Niki...........

I could have gone my entire life without reading this post...............sigh! I have been out of the loop for a few days. (I thought I was being so computer savvy and downloaded the latest microsoft updates. HA! Screwed my computer up good - couldn't connect to the internet or anything. Don finally managed to get the bugs worked out...........so, so much for my switching to a high-tech career! ) Anyway, I am just now catching up on your latest, and I am so sorry to hear this latest bit of news. What a blow!

My heart just aches for what you are going through. You know that you have Katie and me in your corner, rooting and praying for you. Please take it easy. I know that you feel obligated to do the things you promised to your students, but your health must come first. They are young, but they will understand. Please keep us posted on what you find out this week. You have our love and our prayers - always!

 

[Gnusgal]

Hey, Janet. I figured something must have been up for you to have not posted anything yet. Sorry about your computer issues. And thanks for the prayers.

I'm struggling right now with the emotional part. I'm hoping that that is the main culprit to why I'm feeling so bad the last few days and not that I'm getting physically worse (tons of PVCs). I can't seem to concentrate on much of anything. Part of me really wants to just curl up in bed for a week. But I know that's not the answer either. I'm wondering if I should talk to my doctor about getting in touch with a transplant conselor or something... Someone who is trained to help people work through these kinds of emotions. I'm hoping to talk to my cardiologist at some point today to find out if she has gotten the numbers from my last stress test. I know my husband is very anxious to find out the trend. So am I. But at the same time, I'm scared to find out...

Anyway, I'm rambling and I need to get in the shower and start my day. Boy is this hard...

 

[Karlynn]

Niki,
I was out of town, so I missed your first post. I'm hoping your previous stress test will show that you are not progressing quickly. My prayers are with you. Keep up the good work in retraining yourself to take it easy. That is a difficult task.

 

[Glenda]

Niki, what can I say that hasn't already been said. Hugs and prayers are coming your way.

 

[Marguerite53]

Your idea is a good one.

Your idea is a good one.

Niki.

I'm sorry to read about the details of your present condition. I wish for some good luck to come your way. Thank goodness for today's technologies. at least there is constant progress out there in the medical field, better understandings, and more hope for all patients.

I think your idea to find a counselor to help you deal with your present fears, frustrations and emotions is an excellent idea. A true professional will be an excellent guide. Your "family" here will support you frevently, but the educated guidance might truly help with your emotional outlook and your day to day coping skills. I hope your husband will encourage you. He probably shares the weight of much of this, as any loving spouse would. To take some weight off both of you during this waiting time could be very helpful.

Keep us posted. Please take care.

Marguerite

 

[KathyH]

Niki, Sorry to hear about your stress test. It sounds like you have alot on your plate. I echo the others, in that you will be in my prayers too. I am a firm believer that prayers do make a big difference. Take care and keep us posted.
Kathy H

 

[Guest]

I can't seem to concentrate on much of anything. Part of me really wants to just curl up in bed for a week.

You are not alone in these feelings, Niki. I've had these same issues at times, too, albeit for vastly different reasons. But, the basic effect is still the same...wanting to just sleep for a long time....

I hope things start to look up for you soon.

 

[gijanet]

God, no wonder you are tired...........

God, no wonder you are tired...........

If you are reading posts at 6 AM, what time do you get up? Your body needs this thing called sleep! I am a hopeless insomniac - don't tell me you are, too! Well, I piddled around, hoping that you would have some news to post about what you found out today, if you did. Or maybe you just need a day or two to digest it before sharing.........I know I always do. But I am very anxious to know your results. I hope that it reveals a very slow progression, and that you get your two years you are hoping for.

While I can't begin to pretend that I know what it feels like to be in your shoes, I can sooooooooo relate to the deep depression and just wanting to stay in bed for a month or two. Every time we get an unpleasant surprise concerning Katie's heart, I just step off a cliff into a deep, dark funky cavern of depression. THe latest, of course, was that blow last May, finding out one month post-op that the valve repair had failed, and we had, in essence, put Katie through an OHS for nothing! I think your idea about talking to a professional counselor is an excellent one, and you definitely need to follow up on that one. I know you are busy, but that would probably be a wise time investment. That's my biggest beef............I could probably use the services of one, too, but I would have to find one that would see me at midnight.

Well, my dear, please let us know when you find out something and are ready to share it. While you stay in my prayers, it may be time to pull out the big guns. I have several students whom I would be willing to offer up as sacrificial lambs. Just let me know.

IN the meantime, I am sending much love and many hugs to you, and prayers to the Big Guy upstairs.

 

[Gnusgal]

I had put in a call to my cardiologist yesterday, but I never got a call back. My guess is that she either 1, didn't have anything that she could report to me yet, or 2 was overwhelmingly busy catching up from being gone over the weekend. Hopefully I'll hear from her today. She's usually very good about calling, so I don't think it will be another day, but I can't be sure that she'll have the results from my last stress test in her hands (they were done at another facillity).

As for posting at 6 am, I'm not an insominac, I just have to get to school at an insanely early hour! I'm not a morning person at all, so I get up well in advance to give my body the time it needs to actually be functioning by the time I see students. I wake up at 5 am every day, do some pilates, get on the computer, shower, head to school, get some work done, THEN finally have students start arriving into my classroom at 8:30. I also have a 1/2 hour drive to get to work. I do try to get to bed around 10, though. So I get around 7 hours of sleep (well, usually at least 6).

Thanks again for the prayers and concern. I am going to talk to my cardiologist about counseling when I talk to her today and see if she has any suggestions. Of course, I'm going to have to see if there is anyone who sees people on weekends...

 

[Yaps]

lol..I AM

lol..I AM

an insomniac... and post very early...hope all goes well for you..love yaps

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Niki wrote: "So I get around 7 hours of sleep (well, usually at least 6)."

No wonder you are run down Niki!
You need MORE SLEEP...

I find myself having to get up to go the bathroom most mornings, then eat breakfast, piddle on the computer, and go back to bed for a 'pick me up' NAP.

Is there any way you could slip a nap into your schedule sometime during the day? Or, ugh, go to bed earlier, or get up later?

Burning the candle at BOTH ends is bound to leave your tired and lots of other irritating things.

'AL'

 

[gijanet]

Any news?

Any news?

Just thinking about you, wondering how your day went and if you got any news?? I am still hoping and praying that we see a very slow trend. And I can't help but echo Al here, "GET MORE REST!" Sending hugs and prayers.

And, Al, if you've got your ears on:

I find myself having to get up to go the bathroom most mornings... piddle on the computer awhile.... 'AL'

I so hope you aren't killing two birds with one stone here; I don't think there is a computer geek one who is going to recommend that practice.

 

[Gnusgal]

Per Al's advice, I went to bed a half hour early last night, and slept about 15 extra minutes this morning. So a total of 45 more minutes of sleep (for a grand total of 7 hours 45 minutes)... We'll see if it improves my day. (there is no way of including a nap any time in the day, as I only have one conference period and that is usually spent getting stuff done, eating, and all kinds of busy. After school I have rehearsals until 6, then I finally get to come home and work on homework for my graduate class. I know I'm doing too much, but I started doing these things before it was too much and I don't know how to get rid of any of it!) Tomorrow I'll set my alarm another 15 minutes later (today I have drama club coming in an hour before school starts, so I have to be at school early). I'm TRYING to be good, but old habits die hard.

Still no news from the docs. I'm going to call again today and see what's up. I'm getting pretty restless about it. So is DH. If I don't get a response from my regular doctor, perhaps I'll try calling the new doctor's nurse... I really want to find out SOMETHING before the weekend. It's eating me up inside.

Thanks again, everyone, for your love and concern.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Hi Niki,

Hope the extra sleep helps out.

I know you are PASSIONATE about your job, but you just may need to start training a replacement for some of your extra-corricular activities so that next year you can take it easier. Two years at this pace with a declining condition seems like a collision course with an unhappy outcome.

It's NOT FUN when one's limitations begin to affect one's lifestyle!

From one 'pacer' to another.

'AL'

 

[Gnusgal]

Well, I talked to my cardiologist today and we still don't have the numbers from my last stress test to compare to yet. I had forgotten that it was done around the same time that she was swtiching from a partnership to private practice, so she thinks the records might be with her old partner. If they don't have it, there is one more place we are pretty sure should have it, so by tomorrow afternoon we should have the numbers to look at. So we're still in the waiting game...

As for the defibrillator, she agrees that it's a good idea. She wants to talk with my electrophysiologist, but it looks like I will be having that surgery in December if we can swing it. I didn't really think she would say anything different. It's not my favorite plan, but I guess I can live with it... If only it was something that would make me feel better. But I know it won't.

I'll let you all know if/when I find out what the old stress test results were. It's so frustrating to still be waiting to know a week later... But that seems to be the way it has been going around here...

Thanks again for listening. I'm going to try to head to bed here shortly and get even more sleep than last night (though I'm not any less tired than I was yesterday.).

 

[Guest]

It's so frustrating to still be waiting to know a week later... But that seems to be the way it has been going around here...

*nods*

The waiting is always the hardest part...whether you are waiting for test results....or the actual surgery.

Good luck, Niki. Hope those results come sooner for you....

 

[gijanet]

Darn it!

Darn it!

Well, I am disappointed, too, that you didn't get any results today. Please be assured that you are not waiting alone......you have your global waiting room right here with you.

I am glad, though, that you are getting more rest. It might take a few days to kick in. Even if you don't feel any less tired, I'm betting your heart and body are appreciative.

Sending love and prayers, as always. I'll be anxiously awaiting your post.

 

[Gnusgal]

Well, I got a grand total of 8 hours last night. That's the magic number, right? Of course, when I set my alarm for later today I had completely forgotten that I have a staff meeting this morning... Guess I should get off this computer and into the shower...

Tonight I'm off to Houston so I can see my mom. I havn't seen her since July, long before all of this started. I can't wait to get my "mommy hug." Those are the best. I just know we're going to be bawling, but we both need to see each other...

I'll update when I know something...

 

[Gnusgal]

Well, I finally have a bit of GOOD NEWS to report! The doctor's office was able to locate the report from my stress test from December 2002. As it turns out, my VO2 number from back then was only18.5, so not that much different from this time (17.2). Which means that the decline is fairly slow at this point. This is quite a relief. I mean, it's still a decline, but at least it's not as big as I was fearing!