It's Official, I'm an old foggie now

[Ross]

Yes that's right, I had to succomb to getting my first pair of Bifocals. Now this is a weird world to live in indeed. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get used to them. Back in my partying days, I had some strange visions, but these make those look wimpie. Anyway, a joke for all of you:

Who know you're getting old when...

EVERYTHING HURTS, AND WHAT DOESN'T HURT, DOESN'T WORK.

THE GLEAM IN YOUR EYE IS FROM THE SUN HITTING YOUR BIFOCALS.

YOU FEEL LIKE THE MORNING AFTER, AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE.

YOUR LITTLE BLACK BOOK CONTAINS ONLY THE NAMES ENDING IN GP.

YOU GET WINDED PLAYING CHESS.

YOUR CHILDREN BEGIN TO LOOK MIDDLE-AGED.

YOU FINALLY REACH THE TOP OF THE LADDER, ONLY TO FIND IT WAS LEANING AGAINST THE WRONG WALL.

YOU JOIN A HEALTH CLUB AND DON'T GO.

YOU BEGIN TO OUTLIVE ENTHUSIASM.

YOUR MIND MAKES COMMITMENTS YOUR BODY CAN'T MEET.

YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS, BUT NOBODY ASKS YOU THE QUESTIONS.

YOU LOOK FORWARD TO A DULL EVENING.

YOU WALK WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH, TRYING TO GET USED TO BIFOCALS.

YOU TURN OUT THE LIGHT FOR ECONOMIC RATHER THAN ROMANTIC REASONS.

YOU SIT IN THE ROCKING CHAIR AND CAN'T GET IT GOING.

YOUR KNEES BUCKLE AND YOUR BELT WON'T.

YOU REGRET ALL THOSE MISTAKES RESISTING TEMPTATION.

YOU ARE 17 AROUND THE NECK, 42 AROUND THE WAIST AND 108 ROUND THE GOLF COURSE.

YOU STOP LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY.

DIALLING LONG DISTANCE WEARS YOU OUT.

YOU'RE STARTLED THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE ADDRESSED AS "OLD TIMER".

YOU REMEMBER TODAY, THAT YESTERDAY WAS YOUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE NEWSPAPER IS "FORTY YEARS AGO TODAY".

 

[Karlynn]

Welcome to the bifocal club old man.

You will get used to them, but not after making yourself look silly to other people by taking steps down steps that aren't there, reaching for things that are farther away than you think....

 

[geebee]

You ARE old when

You ARE old when

you read posts like this and know you have been laughing about such things for many, many years.

Ross - welcome to Oldfogeysville.

 

[fyrfytr]

Hey Ross,
Welcome to the Club.
Take Care

 

[Wise]

Ross, if it helps, I got bifocals at about 37, and got trifocals at 44, so I guess I'm off the chart of oldfogeyness.

So, watch your step if you can identify them.

 

[Karlynn]

Ross, if it helps, I got bifocals at about 37, and got trifocals at 44, so I guess I'm off the chart of oldfogeyness.

So, watch your step if you can identify them.

Wise, you must learn the Politically Correct term for trifocals (which I have as well ) They are called Progressive Lenses. We have Progressive Lenses, which make us very progressive people!

 

[Mary]

Hey!
Another reason for you not to try and peer in the crystal ball Ross!

I'm older than you, and I don't have bifocals!!!

Yes, I'm bragging.


Of course, my far vision is far gone, so that's a bummer.

 

[gadgetman]

Ross,

I know how you feel . I made it to 50 before my arms got too short to read the newspaper . I went through the denial phase of buying "reading glasses" (three packs from Sams) until even those didn't help . Here I sit in my "progressive" glasses with my chin up . Gonna have to lower the monitor before long or I'm gonna get a stiff neck .

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[Ross]

Well these are no line progressives, but not actually trifocals if that makes sense.

 

[Ross]

Mary is doomed unless she returns this from whence it came:

 

[bvdr]

For the longest time the problem around our house was that the light bulbs were of too low wattage. Pretty soon we had the brightest lit house around ...and then, my husband finally went and got some reading glasses.

Ross, bi-focals do take some time getting used to that is for sure! I started wearing them when I was still working in the ER and our patient control board was in the main corridor. I started having some neck problems and I figured out it was the position I had to hold my head to see what I was doing when writing on the board. I switched to one contact lense (monovision) and no longer had any neck problems. If everything was only that easy! Anyway, I hope they do the trick for you.

 

[Wise]

Wise, you must learn the Politically Correct term for trifocals (which I have as well ) They are called Progressive Lenses. We have Progressive Lenses, which make us very progressive people!

I have a feeling that I'm not very progressive looking with my lines showing though. I'm one of the brave, the few...well...hmm...the cheap. Thus I have lines.

 

[Ross]

I thought long and hard about getting the lined, but I think that line would drive me insane. As is, it's invisible insanity!

 

[JimL]

My first pair of bifocals had the line, but to see anything I had to move the glasses up and down my nose to get them in focus.
Now with my second pair I have the line, and I can definitely see at two different distances -- one too far away and one too close.
I've become convinced that now that I have bifocals I'll never see anything clearly again.

 

[hensylee]

wait til you go for the cataract surgery. After it, you will be able to see better than your children can. I am sitting here at the computer without glasses! I can read that little bitty print on vitamin bottles. Yes, I am braggin.

 

[epstns]

I've had bifocals for a long time (forgot just how long. . . ) and have been using the progressive lenses for at least 10 years. The ONE critical thing with progressive lenses is that the measurements must be perfect. That means not only the optical centers of the lenses, but also the segment height for the "near" prescription to begin. If all is measured well, mine feel as if I don't need bifocals -- it just seems natural. If either of the measurements is wrong, the glasses are useless and will make my eyes go crazy, resulting in nasty headaches.

 

[Ross]

These seem to be fine when I'm in the house, but when I go to the store shopping, it's a real trip in acid land.

 

[Mary]

These seem to be fine when I'm in the house, but when I go to the store shopping, it's a real trip in acid land.

And how do YOU know anything about "acid land?"

That clinched it; NO crystal ball for you!!

 

[Ross]

And how do YOU know anything about "acid land?"

Dennis Hopper, Tommy Chong and I used to live together.

 

[Big-Chuck]

Ross

Ross

dont you understand that it still hurts to laugh?