Is this forum an appropriate place for humor?

[Chuck C]

Here is my view. There are few subjects that are more serious than the life and death realities that those with valve disease face. By its very nature, the morbidity of the topics discussed on this board is unavoidable. Yet at times, we still have moments of humor here. And I think this is just part of being human. In fact, I think that in many ways it is almost necessary to keep one’s sanity when surrounded by such morbidity.

It is hard to think of a more serious moment that when they wheeled me into the operating room. I knew full well what was about to happen. I knew that statistically that I should probably wake up on the other side, but I also knew that statistically it was not a certainty. And yet, I felt it was appropriate to joke with the operating team. It was a Monday morning and I told them that I hoped that none of them had shaky hands from a wild weekend. I guess they could have reprimanded me for being humorous at such a serious moment, or taken offense that I was suggesting that they might have been so irresponsible, but they had a good laugh and I believe that they appreciated it.

So, while some may take the view that this forum is never the place for humor, I disagree. At the same time, I do believe that people should try to not be humorous in a way that offends others or is discriminatory.

And despite some humor here and there, the gravitational pull of the forum always seems to return to the seriousness of the topics at hand.

What are your thoughts?

 

[cldlhd]

Here is my view. There are few subjects that are more serious than the life and death realities that those with valve disease face. By its very nature, the morbidity of the topics discussed on this board is unavoidable. Yet at times, we still have moments of humor here. And I think this is just part of being human. In fact, I think that in many ways it is almost necessary to keep one’s sanity when surrounded by such morbidity.

It is hard to think of a more serious moment that when they wheeled me into the operating room. I knew full well what was about to happen. I knew that statistically that I should probably wake up on the other side, but I also knew that statistically it was not a certainty. And yet, I felt it was appropriate to joke with the operating team. It was a Monday morning and I told them that I hoped that none of them had shaky hands from a wild weekend. I guess they could have reprimanded me for being humorous at such a serious moment, or taken offense that I was suggesting that they might have been so irresponsible, but they had a good laugh and I believe that they appreciated it.

So, while some may take the view that this forum is never the place for humor, I disagree. At the same time, I do believe that people should try to not be humorous in a way that offends others or is discriminatory.

And despite some humor here and there, the gravitational pull of the forum always seems to return to the seriousness of the topics at hand.

What are your thoughts?

Hell my surgery was supposed to be on a Friday but was cancelled due to a surgery that ran long. I was given the choice of rescheduling a month down the road or the next , Saturday, morning. I chose Saturday and when I came in it seemed pretty clear some of the staff seemed miserable to be there....
I love humor but I guess if the OP doesn't approve of it on their thread then I'd respect that, personally I'm not easily offended.

 

[Warrick]

Humour is also part of culture, so what a kiwi or an aussie might find funny other beliefs might not. I like to add and indeed see humour in the posts, I like to incorporate humour without offending when I can to give others a laugh and I’m sure everyone else is the same.... we are not robots after all.
Everyone here either has experienced the seriousness or is going to experience the whole OHS thing so know at its core its no joke.

 

[Chuck C]

we are not robots after all.

Well, maybe not yet. Just wait until Bill Gates flips on the microchips that we all just got implanted in us from the vaccine.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucel...read-here-are-some-responses/?sh=67ce9711602d

 

[LondonAndy]

I am a big believer in using humour in life. If attending a new clinic or the emergency room, when asked if I am allergic to anything I always answer "pain", knowing full well that they meant allergic to any medicines. I must admit to being surprised that this always gets a laugh, as I had assumed lots of people would do this but apparently not.

I needed a pacemaker as a result of surgical complication from my heart surgery, and as I was wheeled on my hospital bed to the theatre by two theatre nurses, an IV drip on a stand attached to the back of the bed, the theatre nurse at the front said "how is that drip at the back?". I replied: "She's doing fine - don't talk to your colleague that way!" A little humour lightens everyone's day, though of course Warwick is right to say that cultural differences etc means that it should be used carefully.

 

[pellicle]

The idea of having a laugh at the difficult stuff life presents is across multiple millenia and every culture. Why it would be inappropriate here is bewildering.

Life is serious life is often hard and sometimes life is a real test, so if anything can bring a bit of laughter then that's good.

The Ancient Greeks were already on to this:

There will always be people who like to get offended.
https://theconversation.com/why-people-take-offence-131736
But to be honest that's actually a choice in most cases. To me we are all valve brothers and sisters (even those in the waiting room).

Having been raised in a Catholic I was taught (and still believe) "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" ... and really if one finds it is somehow offensive perhaps that says one may need to lighten up.

Even if malice is intended and the humour used to mask it (I've rarely if ever seen that here, so making such a determination would be a personal judgement call) one could look to teachings of Christian works such as found in Luke:

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."​

... after all one may not understand the cultural context in which the writer thought it to be genuinely harmlessly funny.

So as one who still laughs out loud at silly things in the day, do I think humor is inappropriate here?

Best Wishes

 

[TellTaleHeart]

I’m too new to this forum to have devoured every post (yet), so I’m wondering if you ask the question posed in the title proactively, or have you caught blowback? Me, I thrive on humor, but I also recognize I’ve used it in what turned out to be inappropriate situations with no intent of causing pain because I misjudged or it was misinterpreted, and with forums (and email and texting) you lose “the nod and the wink” you have in-person. Sadly, these days it seems humor can be a landmine with offense easily taken (at least in the States) so I understand the question. On this forum, I respect the gravity: without it, we’d be left with gravy

 

[Chuck C]

and with forums (and email and texting) you lose “the nod and the wink” you have in-person. Sadly, these days it seems humor can be a landmine with offense easily taken (at least in the States) so I understand the question

Good point about how the "nod and the wink" are lost when not in person and things can be taken wrong. It can sometimes be hard to know if someone wrote something in anger or tongue in cheek.

 

[Chuck C]

Life is serious life is often hard and sometimes life is a real test, so if anything can bring a bit of laughter then that's good.

I agree. It is hard to imagine life without laughter.

Three years ago I gave the eulogy for my step-father, who had been in my life since I was 10 years old. It was a sad day. We were in mourning. But, I did add some humor in my talk, because there were some really humorous aspects about his life. He loved to tell a good story with good humor, and I honored him by sharing some of the more hilarious moments of his life. There was some really hard laughing. It did not take away from the seriousness of the moment. There was also hard crying. I'm fairly certain he would have approved. On the other hand, my brother also spoke and he chose to be 100% serious and that was ok as well.

 

[pellicle]

s life. There was some really hard laughing.

You should go to an Irish wake.
Respect does not necessitate somber (or sober)

 

[cldlhd]

You should go to an Irish wake.
Respect does not necessitate somber (or sober)

I always figured an Irish wake was an unneeded excuse to get tanked.....

 

[pellicle]

I always figured an Irish wake was an unneeded excuse to get tanked.....

well I can assure you none of my family need an excuse, but at family wakes the difference is that while getting tanked most of the conversation is about the deceased and stories of all sorts are swapped ... celebrating the life of deceased in a genuine honest way by those closest to him (in the case of my Dad).

The church ceremony was talked about for ages (still gets a mention 10 years later) due to some accidental shenanigans on my part while receiving holy communion. I even heard about it via a back channel of a good friend who's wife works for the Archdiocese in administration. Apparently the Archbishop got a giggle from it too. Perhaps he shouldn't be so light hearted either?

 

[tom in MO]

You should go to an Irish wake.
Respect does not necessitate somber (or sober)

Characterizing the Irish as drunks is not really humorous. It's an old bit of tripe applied to Australians, African Americans, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, etc.. Every dominant culture portrays the subservient sub-cultures as alcohol abusers.

My family's Irish wake joke is supposedly real. In the old days (1900s) as poor farmers, they had the wake at home with the body on the dinner table. One relative died in a chair and rigor had set in. He was tied to the table to keep him flat. As the family gathered around to say prayers over the deceased, my grandfather reached under the table and cut the rope tying the torso down, and it sat straight up, scaring everyone not in on the practical joke.

 

[cldlhd]

Characterizing the Irish as drunks is not really humorous. It's an old bit of tripe applied to Australians, African Americans, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, etc.. Every dominant culture portrays the subservient sub-cultures as alcohol abusers.

My family's Irish wake joke is supposedly real. In the old days (1900s) as poor farmers, they had the wake at home with the body on the dinner table. One relative died in a chair and rigor had set in. He was tied to the table to keep him flat. As the family gathered around to say prayers over the deceased, my grandfather reached under the table and cut the rope tying the torso down, and it sat straight up, scaring everyone not in on the practical joke.

I hear that but in my experience most of the Irish guys I know brag about their drinking prowess and it seems to be a large part of their self-identity ethnically for some reason. We bust stones back and forth, I'm predominantly German and English ethnically although we're all American and when we do work together I can be pretty particular so I've often heard the statement " You freaking Nazis are all the same..." Which I don't get offended by because I don't believe they're actually calling me a Nazi. Likewise I will crack at them with comments about the English versus the Irish thing and their drinking habits. Also, maybe this is an American thing, but it seems like the Irish are fiercely proud. Like I don't go on and on about being English or wear shirts commenting on it etcetera but like if you go to a Philadelphia Phillies game there's a whole bunch of merchandise where instead of being red the t-shirts are green and Irish flavored. So I did a little paraphrasing of Churchill busting on my Irish buddies heritage one day when he was being a bit overly proud once he was in the cups as they say - I hit back at him with " The Irish, never in the course of human history have so many been so proud of so little..." . Now this was all in joking as we were hanging out together. I did go on to list a few of the technical and scientific achievements coming from Deutschland compared to Ireland though just for good measure....

 

[pellicle]

Characterizing the Irish as drunks is not really humorous. I

I know you are Irish mate because your always trying to pick a fight.

If you could read properly you would see I was citing my own family wake. They are my family and I know them and I can comment on them based on reality.

You however do not and can not.


Pull your head in

What I have found about you from experience however is that you like to cause conflict for its own sake, and you like to hide behind that using 'being offended'

https://madamenoire.com/1080935/the-psychology-behind-people-who-are-always-offended/
https://theconversation.com/why-people-take-offence-131736
Its not appropriate and as others have advised you "if you don't like something, scroll on by"

So if you've got nothing to say that's not heart related then just scroll on by and stop being a catalyst for arguments. Go join Facebook if you need that sort of entertainment.

 

[pellicle]

I'm predominantly German and English ethnically although we're all American and when we do work together

that's how we roll in Australia too ... but Tom just wants excuses to get offended, because that's how he rolls..

 

[cldlhd]

that's how we roll in Australia too ... but Tom just wants excuses to get offended, because that's how he rolls..

Also now obviously I'm generalizing because not all Irish behave that way but at least here in the United States the one holiday that is identified strongly with the Irish is Saint Patrick's Day. Pretty much every Irish guy I know celebrates by getting absolutely plastered and encouraging everybody else to do so....

 

[pellicle]

Generalising is what humans do, if we did not generalize we would be unable to do most things.

• This looks like a car, can I operate it like mine
• this looks like a door, do I know how to operate it?
• can I use this can opener on cans not in the picture that look like those cans?
• this fellow is speaking Japanese, should I speak to him in German, Korean or Japanese

Pretty much everything will Irish guy I know celebrated by getting absolutely plastered and encouraging everybody else to do so....

I was having a great conversation with a lovely young (pregnant) lass the other night in Toowwoomba. I identified her accent as being Irish (but odd) and while I never said anything about my own origins I found she was migrating to Australia (with her Australian Husband) and waiting for Permanent Residency. She (as it turned out) came from Belfast.

She is strongly of the opinion that religion is not a topic for public discussion. Who's surprised there. Maybe we should try her Irish Wisdom here?

 

[tom in MO]

I know you are Irish mate because your always trying to pick a fight.

If you could read properly you would see I was citing my own family wake. They are my family and I know them and I can comment on them based on reality.

You however do not and can not.


Pull your head in

What I have found about you from experience however is that you like to cause conflict for its own sake, and you like to hide behind that using 'being offended'

https://madamenoire.com/1080935/the-psychology-behind-people-who-are-always-offended/
https://theconversation.com/why-people-take-offence-131736
Its not appropriate and as others have advised you "if you don't like something, scroll on by"

View attachment 887922

So if you've got nothing to say that's not heart related then just scroll on by and stop being a catalyst for arguments. Go join Facebook if you need that sort of entertainment.

This thread is about humor not valves. You're like Archie Bunker "Stifle yourself Tom in MO." You've always wanted to moderate this forum, good thing it was denied.

Sorry, I didn't realize your wake joke was about the drunks in your family not Irish folk in general. My commiserations on having so many drunks.

Your statement "I know you are Irish mate because your always trying to pick a fight" is another example of prejudice directed against the Irish. Ireland has never "picked a fight" with any country. They were neutral in WWII. The only "fight" Ireland has been involved in since Independence was as a member of a peacekeeping force. I don't "pick a fight" with you Pellicle, I just disagree sometimes, you seem to find disagreement problematic.

 

[cldlhd]

This thread is about humor not valves. You're like Archie Bunker "Stifle yourself Tom in MO." You've always wanted to moderate this forum, good thing it was denied.

Sorry, I didn't realize your wake joke was about the drunks in your family not Irish folk in general. My commiserations on having so many drunks.

Your statement "I know you are Irish mate because your always trying to pick a fight" is another example of prejudice directed against the Irish. Ireland has never "picked a fight" with any country. They were neutral in WWII. The only "fight" Ireland has been involved in since Independence was as a member of a peacekeeping force. I don't "pick a fight" with you Pellicle, I just disagree sometimes, you seem to find disagreement problematic.

Good thing the United States didn't remain "neutral" in WW2.
Plus I think it's possible for people as individuals of a particular country or ethnic group to be known for liking to fight, although that's obviously a generalization, and have the country itself not really known for engaging in war. Does Ireland even have an Air Force?