themalteser
Well-known member
Hello everyone,
Sorry for taking so long to reply but I was away. Thank you for all your responses.
Anxiety is weird, some people say that they feel anxious every now and then, like when they give a speech, but is this the same kind of anxiety! I can understand epstns definition, that its like guilt, as with any other feeling, it's there if you accept it and its somehow the choice of the individual to be anxious... ? But it's so difficult to eliminate this behaviour, sensations, thoughts. It's the thoughts the worst, obviously they are the ones making me anxious
I be happy enjoying my time with my family and suddenly I start getting these sensations, obviously I start getting concerned, then anxious, then a panics attack .
If not sensations, I wake up with the thought of death and go on the train to my way to work with the thought of death, I'm at work thinking about dying and family dying, I be enjoying my moment with my family and get this deep, awful feeling that can be literarily be felt like a ball in your chest about that everything will come to an end, we got to go, that life is extremely short...I book a holiday. I think a lot about my heart, it gives me lots of anxiety, I worry that it will just stop Bla bla bla.... !
Sometimes they become like morbid fascination, as if my brain wants to think like this(and obviously this goes back to what epstns said) but, how can I stop it?
So.... It's not like when you're about to give a speech, its something more then that, but I got no clue, no clue at all how to stop it. God knows what I'm going to do if ever my cardiologist will tell me that I need surgery!( a thought just popped in my head, as soon as I wrote this about that this demands whether I even make it to that day the cardiologist will tell me this....)
I'm so sorry everyone, I gone on a bit, but, this seems to be the only place where people can understand me and provide me with real advice.
I've gone to the doctor again, as per some of your advice and prescribed me more clonazepam. I am going to France for a holiday next week with my family and I want to enjoy it , I hope I won't ruin it for them.
Funny little story that happened to me this weekend, well it was a UK public holiday Friday and Monday ( Easter) and my family and I went down to a lovely place named Cornwall for the weekend. Saturday evening I went to sleep and had terrible nightmares, absolutely awful that I couldn't sleep, so I woke up on Sunday, still cannot forget the dreams and looked at my watch and noticed it was an hour behind my phones clock, so I got extremely worried, I was on top of my anxiety thinking, how could a watch be exactly one hour behind. I told my wife, and she said that I might have hit the watch or aim looking at it from a different angle.....
Anyways, I sort if forgot about it, so we went swimming by walk, and done some activities. In the afternoon we thought that it will be a good idea to drive to a nearby town to buy takeaway, when we jumped in the car, I crapped my pants, I noticed that the car clock was an hour behind as well! So obviously at this point anxiety hit the roof, I've told my wife about my dream ( it was about a horrible Devil looking kid near my bed, terrible) and me being catholic I said to my wife that this is a sign, we must say a prayer. Obviously she started to panic as well and said to me that it could be something to do with the earth magnetic field and the end of world might be approaching...........(genius!)
So, I text my brother in Malta and I told him, are any of your watches , clocks or anything which has a time an hour behind? So I can rule out the end of world! So my brother phoned me and said, obviously, they were an hour behind, because the hour changed!!! I was sooooo releived! And honestly both myself and my wife felt soooo stupid! It was very funny after, (after I ruined part of the day) ! ... Bit seriously, it was not advertised anywhere here!! Haha!
Thank you all once again, I read all your comments and I am absorbing each ad everyone of them....
Sorry for taking so long to reply but I was away. Thank you for all your responses.
Anxiety is weird, some people say that they feel anxious every now and then, like when they give a speech, but is this the same kind of anxiety! I can understand epstns definition, that its like guilt, as with any other feeling, it's there if you accept it and its somehow the choice of the individual to be anxious... ? But it's so difficult to eliminate this behaviour, sensations, thoughts. It's the thoughts the worst, obviously they are the ones making me anxious
I be happy enjoying my time with my family and suddenly I start getting these sensations, obviously I start getting concerned, then anxious, then a panics attack .
If not sensations, I wake up with the thought of death and go on the train to my way to work with the thought of death, I'm at work thinking about dying and family dying, I be enjoying my moment with my family and get this deep, awful feeling that can be literarily be felt like a ball in your chest about that everything will come to an end, we got to go, that life is extremely short...I book a holiday. I think a lot about my heart, it gives me lots of anxiety, I worry that it will just stop Bla bla bla.... !
Sometimes they become like morbid fascination, as if my brain wants to think like this(and obviously this goes back to what epstns said) but, how can I stop it?
So.... It's not like when you're about to give a speech, its something more then that, but I got no clue, no clue at all how to stop it. God knows what I'm going to do if ever my cardiologist will tell me that I need surgery!( a thought just popped in my head, as soon as I wrote this about that this demands whether I even make it to that day the cardiologist will tell me this....)
I'm so sorry everyone, I gone on a bit, but, this seems to be the only place where people can understand me and provide me with real advice.
I've gone to the doctor again, as per some of your advice and prescribed me more clonazepam. I am going to France for a holiday next week with my family and I want to enjoy it , I hope I won't ruin it for them.
Funny little story that happened to me this weekend, well it was a UK public holiday Friday and Monday ( Easter) and my family and I went down to a lovely place named Cornwall for the weekend. Saturday evening I went to sleep and had terrible nightmares, absolutely awful that I couldn't sleep, so I woke up on Sunday, still cannot forget the dreams and looked at my watch and noticed it was an hour behind my phones clock, so I got extremely worried, I was on top of my anxiety thinking, how could a watch be exactly one hour behind. I told my wife, and she said that I might have hit the watch or aim looking at it from a different angle.....
Anyways, I sort if forgot about it, so we went swimming by walk, and done some activities. In the afternoon we thought that it will be a good idea to drive to a nearby town to buy takeaway, when we jumped in the car, I crapped my pants, I noticed that the car clock was an hour behind as well! So obviously at this point anxiety hit the roof, I've told my wife about my dream ( it was about a horrible Devil looking kid near my bed, terrible) and me being catholic I said to my wife that this is a sign, we must say a prayer. Obviously she started to panic as well and said to me that it could be something to do with the earth magnetic field and the end of world might be approaching...........(genius!)
So, I text my brother in Malta and I told him, are any of your watches , clocks or anything which has a time an hour behind? So I can rule out the end of world! So my brother phoned me and said, obviously, they were an hour behind, because the hour changed!!! I was sooooo releived! And honestly both myself and my wife felt soooo stupid! It was very funny after, (after I ruined part of the day) ! ... Bit seriously, it was not advertised anywhere here!! Haha!
Thank you all once again, I read all your comments and I am absorbing each ad everyone of them....
