Is it reasonable to expect...

[savysmommy]

that two weeks after surgery I will be well/healed enough to care for a toddler? My significant other is taking off two weeks starting the day I have surgery to help out with everything. Then, my mom is going to be available to help as well, but not all day everyday.

So, what I want to know.. How do you feel two weeks post op? Could you care for a small child.. ?? I am beginning to wonder If I might need more help. I am concerned that I wont be ok enough to play, feed, and just care for my daughter after surgery without being just totally wiped out! She only takes one nap a day.. is that enough rest for me? Could you pick up a 30 pound child 2-3 weeks post op?

Thanks for any input.

 

[Ross]

You'll be able to do some, but no where near where you'll need to be. It's best to recruit some additional help. Your going to tire very quickly and things are just plain going to be hard on you.

 

[Rich]

Absolutely no way will you be able or even allowed to do that.
You definitely will need help.
They probably will restrict your lifting to 5 to 10 pounds for at least six weeks or longer.
And you will get tired often and have to rest.

 

[Michaelena]

that two weeks after surgery I will be well/healed enough to care for a toddler? My significant other is taking off two weeks starting the day I have surgery to help out with everything. Then, my mom is going to be available to help as well, but not all day everyday.

So, what I want to know.. How do you feel two weeks post op? Could you care for a small child.. ?? I am beginning to wonder If I might need more help. I am concerned that I wont be ok enough to play, feed, and just care for my daughter after surgery without being just totally wiped out! She only takes one nap a day.. is that enough rest for me? Could you pick up a 30 pound child 2-3 weeks post op?

Thanks for any input.

Hi savysmommy,
Although it was 20 years ago, I had mvr, my son was only 10 mos old, he was not walking, I could not pick him up, it was probably like 6 weeks after surgery. It would be best to line up some help, neighbors, friends for a couple hours a day but I know that is not always possible. They say, necessity is the mother of invention, so I learned to do change diapers on the floor, and spent a lot of time on the floor eye level with him most of the time (my floors were impeccably clean, especially the kitchen and family room). It is not easy, your daughter will not understand why you can't pick her up like before, but you learn to play and cuddle in other ways. Actually, I spent more time with him during my recouperation, and was not distracted by other things such as errands and housework

I hope this helps, and best of luck
Michaelena

 

[Johnny Stephens]

Unfortunately I would have to agree with the others that you'll still be limited in what you'll be able to do. Apart from the fatigue, you'll likely still be on very tight restrictions with regard to lifting. There are other issues that come up for lots of folks, such as poor sleep and lack of appetite in the first weeks home.

 

[CCRN]

Child care

Child care

I absolutely agree with the others - no way will you be allowed, much less able to pick up a toddler. My husband couldn't even open the fridge or close a car door without his eyes tearing up for the first couple of weeks.

You should not be left in charge of a toddler. You may not be able to pick the child up until you're 2-3 months out. Now's the time to take all your friends up on the offers to do something for you during your recovery. Please, do not let you and the child be left alone together. Two weeks out is too soon. Is there any way your husband could delay his trip.........maybe some FMLA time from his job?

 

[Creed3]

Need more time

Need more time

Hi!
You will definitely need help for about a month longer. My girls were 3 and 7 months when I had my surgery. My husband was home with me for a week. My mother then came for a week or two and then my inlaws came to help out for a few weeks. You will slowly be able to do things with your toddler but you really should have someone there with you for awhile. Lifting a child is a no no for awhile. You may be able to have someone put your child on your lap after a few weeks as long as your child doesn't fuss too much. You should be able to completely take over again at about 6 weeks post op. You will still need to be very careful.

Take Care!
Gail

 

[hensylee]

No, no, and no. Furthermore, NO. You can pick up only 5 lbs at first. After 3-4 weeks, you can pick up maybe 10 lbs. At maybe 6 8 weeks you can go higher to 15#. Besides all the other no noes, this should convince you that you will need help for awhile after surgery, in the matter of caring for a toddler. You could risk being right back in the hospital and you DON'T want that.

 

[LisaD0365]

I had my MVR when my 8 yr old son was 2....there was NO WAY I was able to pick him up....for at least a month and then when I had my follow up appt...the cardiac surgeon hollering at me for picking my son up after a month...my sternum wasn't healing right....told me if I kept lifting more than 5 pounds he would have to have me go back into surgery and 'rebreak' my sternum ...that stopped me.....

 

[ALCapshaw2]

If you are even *thinking* you can care for a toddler at 2 weeks, you need a better picture of what this surgery involves.

First, the surgeon will CUT YOUR STERNUM down with middle with a rotary SAW. Then he will spread your chest open like a clam shell. After that he will fix your heart and sew you back up.

At 2 weeks, you sternum will just be STARTING to heal and not move every time you twist and turn your body. Lift anything over 5 lbs and you run the risk of breaking those first junctions across the cut sternum. At 6 weeks, you will be able to move about, drive, but still have severe weight lifting restrictions.

If you are tempted to say "oh I feel fine, I can lift my baby just this once" you run a SERIOUS risk of damaging your sternum and as Lisa's surgeon pointed out, he may have to recut your sternum and start the healing all over again.

Got the picture? I hope so. You WILL need all the help you can get, maybe even daycare for your child. This is NOT the time to try to be SUPERMOM!

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Debrinha GT]

Not a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

Not a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

That's what I call being optimistic!! Wow!! You'll hardly be able to take care of yourself, let alone a young child!! You'd be back in hospital in no time!! Your best bet is to make sure there will be someone to do it for you and if the person can't stay at your house, maybe she can take the child to hers for a few days instead. Think about that!! Good luck and take care!!
Débora

 

[Mary]

OMG, NO WAY!

We routinely babysit for our granddaughter, and I told our son that someone would always have to be here with me if she was to spend anytime after my surgery.
It would be dangerous to have her here by myself, because in the event anything happened, I couldn't do a darn thing to prevent it.

You'll have to have help, and there is no way around it.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there it is.

 

[Granbonny]

Is there a local daycare that would be willing to take her for a month..With your hubby taking her in the morning and picking her up after work???? Try the church daycares..they would probably understand...Bonnie

 

[KAJ]

Others have already said it, but I will too. Caring for a toddler (completely alone anyway), should be out of the question. Your safety and the child's safety are at risk. Toddlers can get into too many things. It is amazing a how creative kids can get when it comes to putting themselves in danger.

Karl

 

[savysmommy]

Wow! Thanks everyone.
I guess I was just hoping that I would be "one of those people." You know, the ones that heal super quick.. At least I was hoping for it. I do plan on taking off 6-8 weeks of work. From a financial standpoint, my lack of income and paying to put my daughter in daycare isnt really an option.

I do have LOTS of family and support. I was just hoping that people could come by, maybe cook dinner and help out a bit. I didnt think I would really need somebody here all day with me and my daughter.

My daughter is only 16 months old and of course will not understand why I am not picking her up. Are the weight restrictions for lifting things up, just holding things, or both? Do you think it is possible to hold her, if someone brought her to me?

Thanks for all the feedback.
Shannon

 

[inlaguna]

I think you will find your body just won't let you do it ( pick her up). It will hurt too much. Gradually you will feel more up to it, but even with that I would give it some more time. I thought I felt fine about 6 weeks post op and tried to add lifting weights back into my workouts........big mistake. I quickly learned to ease back into things.

I am sure you can work something out so you have lots of contact with her and don't phsyically strain to hold her in your arms.

Listen to your body. I think someone mentioned that over 10 pounds is not recommended at first. You should really just try to avoid the direct pressure around the sternum and incision area.

Incidently, I thought my 4 year old would not understand why dad couldn't put her on his shoulders etc.......but she was much more perceptive than I gave her credit for. Although yours is 16 months, I think you will be surprised at how quickly you both adapt.

Dan

 

[Karlynn]

Let's hope you feel that good 2 weeks out. But remember that those feelings are misleading! Nothing that major heals that quickly and you don't want to disrupt the healing. If you were having your appendix out, they would tell you not to lift your daughter.

At 16 months you and your husband will be able to communicate some of your situation to your child. You should be able to teach her to be "gentle" with Mommy. Even though it seems cruel, you may want to start a bit of training now, so she can adjust a little and not go "cold turkey" on Mommy not being able to lift her.

 

[Mary]

Wow! Thanks everyone.
I guess I was just hoping that I would be "one of those people." You know, the ones that heal super quick.. At least I was hoping for it. I do plan on taking off 6-8 weeks of work. From a financial standpoint, my lack of income and paying to put my daughter in daycare isnt really an option.

I do have LOTS of family and support. I was just hoping that people could come by, maybe cook dinner and help out a bit. I didnt think I would really need somebody here all day with me and my daughter.

My daughter is only 16 months old and of course will not understand why I am not picking her up. Are the weight restrictions for lifting things up, just holding things, or both? Do you think it is possible to hold her, if someone brought her to me?

Thanks for all the feedback.

Shannon,
I had a major operation when my daughter was six months old. I was under the same weight lifting restrictions then as I am now.
I was able to hold her if someone brought her to me.
You'll have to be careful though that your baby doesn't suddenly move into your chest area.
Our granddaughter was here yesterday, and as she got ready to leave, she ran to give me a kiss. I was sitting down, but I had to dodge a full force tackle to my sternum and shoulder area.
You'll figure it out as you go. You're young, so you should heal quicker than most.

 

[Granbonny]

Shannon

Shannon

Another idea..Do you have family or friends who have a high school age child..that could come in during the day and help out...Their being out of school for the summer...I'm sure they would love to make a few dollars.. and it would still give them their weekends free. I'm sure $10.00 a day to just sit with you..free food and T.V., ect...That would be $50.00 for them to have for weekend. I bet your family would be glad to chip in..$ wise.. Bonnie

 

[momshell7]

I agree with the others that you won't be able to care for a toddler alone. I know that watching a child all day is tiring enough for someone who hasn't had surgery You will not feel up to dealing with the many demands of a child that young. If you can get someone to help at your house that would be great so she can still be near you. If not, maybe you can find a family memeber or close friend who would take her during the day to let you rest.


Michelle