When I had my valve replacement, my wife and I were still "engaged" and a few people at the hospital thought she was my sister, not a future spouse...
We had a fairly strong bond going into surgery and I think a lot of that, especially on her end, was just strengthened by the experience we went through.
We are nearly inseperable now and wouldn't really want it any other way. I know she's there for me, always, and she knows I'd do the same for her.
We joke now some because we're the same rare blood type and if I needed it, I could take her heart....
Granted, that WON'T happen.
I won't allow it. =)
We've both seen eachother through some VERY hard times and I think that did a lot to cement our relationship.
We have some arrangements set in place if the "unexpected" came along. Most of it's covered except who would take our son if both of us came to an untimely demise, there's some extra legal questions involved in that one though.
I think it's natural to think about the what ifs before surgery, or even afterwards. What's unnatural is to actually plan out for that possiblilty in such a way that you're NOT focusing on the possibility that you'll be fine and live a long and happy life.
At the VERY least, let at least two people who know each other know what your wishes are should you no longer be able to communicate them yourself.
And finally, I don't think it's unreasonable to be "picking out" future spouses for your significant other should you not survive surgery or whatever. I think that may actually be a sign that you care about your spouse and want them to be happy, to move on and live their life as they want, with your blessing.
A sign of your love for them.
