I think I've got mine scheduled and Im scared t DEATH!

[SHEEPDOG]

This is great!

This is great!

I am soooo glad I made this post the other day. I know most all of you have gone through this too and i KNOW in my KNOWER that all will be fine. Wednesday was when I actually made the date and it all hit home. I have known this would be coming since Dr. Bridgeman (GP in Mission Viejo, Ca) told me I had a murmur when I was about 14 years old. (Im 44 in sept.) I heard the same thing just over 16 years ago from a cardiologist. "when you are about 50 or so" I guess that someday is here and that is the hard part. I really do want to get it over with so I can see where I can get with physical conditioning when my heart works like it should.
I look at the sizes of the replacement valves that others have received (21 mm, etc.) and then think about how small my valve has closed, (.8-.9cm) that tells me that my valve is under 1/2 the size of what it should be.(assuming 20-21 mm) I wish I could go back to sept 06 (when I started the police academy) and know what I was looking at then. I am guessing th wouldn't get THAT much narrower in 2 1/2 years. That means I did pretty good in COMPLETING the academy with my valve compromised.

Bicuspidboy, I do have to be a little crazy to run towards gunshots (as im sure other cops and Military will attest) but I am in charge of that and therefor not TERRIBLY scared. (any cop that says he's never scared is a liar) With this, I have no VEST to protect me, no training to fall back on and I cant call for help on the radio and know EVERYONE will bust their @$& to get there and help. I HAVE NO CONTROL. I guess I never thought of myself as a CONTROL freak till now. My life is TOTALLY in someone elses hands and thats that. I think that is most of the problem.
Thank You all for the support and I know it will get easier. I will keep you posted.

SHEEPDOG
aka GREG

 

[Ross]

Greg I wish I could find the post Johnny Stephens posted to me when I got my date.

Something to the tune of we all act big and bad right until they give us a date and then it becomes REAL and not bluffing any longer. Control is it my friend. When we don't have it. It makes one very nervous.

 

[Ana]

So sorry to hear about your fears. Who knows, in a few days, the worry will diminish, and you might even find yourself looking forward to just getting the damn thing over with....until that last night pre-op. Ugh.

I think my husband was lucky. It was 10 days from CHF diagnosis to OHS for MVR and tricuspid repair and during that time, we kept being presented with one more slightly depressing and worse diagnosis and treatment plan after another. I felt like I was being slapped around by a tornado and the shock managed to negate the fear. Until that last night before surgery - but he came through it and is now doing wonderfully. It's hard to believe that the vibrant man I go home to every day is the same one who, prior to diagnosis, thrashed liked a slowly drowning man when he was asleep. Which, I guess, he was.

Improvements happen, quality of life can greatly improve and I hope/wish/pray for the same for you.

 

[gf1962]

I will never forget a statement made to me by a nurse at the hospital who had a son in one of my D.A.R.E. classes. " you have taken care of all of us, and our children let us now take care of you". It was good advise.

Gary

 

[Dina]

Since the actual surgery is out of our hands , I think this causes the loss of
control feeling - this is why its so important to have full trust in your surgeon.
Your job is to keep yourself positive to the point that you can 'see' a good
outcome and see yourself healthy and with the surgery behind you.
Remember that recent Quantum Physics has proved 'mind over matter' in so many different ways.
I will be sending good thoughts your way -Dina