Z
Zazzy
Fitness Q & A
with Hart Attak, MD
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it, don't piss them away on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you
can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a
pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and
vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide
everything in the world into three categories: animal,
mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine
are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table
of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My
advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid
vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat,
your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your
ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in
a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain - Good.
Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and
peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress
yourself to death in record time.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Any other secrets to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want
a bigger stomach.
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
have had.
with Hart Attak, MD
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it, don't piss them away on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you
can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a
pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and
vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide
everything in the world into three categories: animal,
mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine
are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table
of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My
advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid
vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat,
your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your
ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in
a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain - Good.
Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and
peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress
yourself to death in record time.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Any other secrets to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want
a bigger stomach.
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
have had.
