Husband having surgery

[Debbie]

Hi! I am new here. I have been reading and following the different threads for a few weeks and they have been great in answering questions that I and my husband have had.
My husband went to the Dr.s for a routine check, at the end of June, for his blood pressure and cholesterol meds and they heard a murmer. They sent him for an echocardiogram. Thats when they told him that he has a Bicuspid aortic valve. He never knew until now that he had this!
They sent him to a cardiologist, who sent him for a tee and angiogram. He had significant regurgitation. They sent him to the surgeons. We went to see the Cardiovascular thoracic sugeons last week and they have scheduled him for Surgery on August 5th for valve replacement at Inova Fairfax hospital with Dr. Burton. Wow, what a whirl wind!!!

Anyway, I thought that I would post and let you know how helpful it has been for me to go on line and read the various threads and get information. Thanks! I am glad that I found this web site!!

 

[Karlynn]

Welcome Debbie! Ask any questions you or your husband has. It will help you feel less overwhelmed.

 

[Phyllis]

Welcome Debbie. I'm so glad that you found this site before your husband's AVR. Please don't hesitate to ask any and all questions as there's always someone on this great site that will try to help you. What is your husband's name?- we will put him on the calendar for August 5th.

 

[Nancy]

Welcome-

Another significant other here. Stay with us, we'll help you through the icky stuff.

Just keep remembering this can be fixed.

 

[Debbie]

Thanks! My husbands name is Jack.

 

[Phyllis]

Jack is on the calendar and we wish you both the most successful surgery and an uneventful recovery. Please keep posting and let us know how he does.

 

[geebee]

Welcome - happy to have you aboard. Best wishes to you and your hubby.

 

[Kevin's wife]

Hi Debbie

Hi Debbie

Hi Debbie:
You're right: this site does help. My husband had surgery almost three weeks ago. In the last month before the surgery, we were both obsessive about visiting VR.com. We got more practical information reading the posts, than from any of the many doctors/surgeons we talked to. After all, none of them have actually undergone the surgery in the way their patients do. Here are a few things that really helped me, although I know everyone is different.

1. If possible make sure someone else is taking care of your kids while your husband is in the hospital. You will need to have all your energy and focus on him. I stayed with my husband in the hospital after he got out of ICU, and, of course he got much more attention that way.

2. Your kids want to know what's going on, but mine didn't want to know too much. They didn't visit Kevin in the hospital which worked fine for us. (14 and 16). He was only there for 3 days, and because it was summertime, they had lots of fun activities to distract them. I was on the phone with them a couple of times during the surgery. Once they heard he was awake after the surgery, their concerns disappeared. Kids!!!!

3. My doctor prescribed me a low dose of anti-anxiety medication. I took it the day before, the day of, and for a few days after surgery. It helped me stay calm, but it was a low enough dose that it didn't make me sleepy or weird.

4. Plan many walking routes for you and your husband when he comes home. They need to walk several times a day, and you'll get bored, believe me, if you don't think of new places to go and take walks. Parks are great because there is usually a lot of shade and benches to rest. When people ask what they can do, tell them that the nicest thing they can do is come over and take your husband out for a walk. That gives you a break, and is great for him too.

Reading your profile, and believing that bi-cuspid people are very smart and thrive on physical activity, I'm guessing your husband is in his 40s and fit.
My husband is 48 and very fit--although about 20 lbs. overweight. So. If you're anything like us, THIS IS GOING TO BE MUCH BETTER THAN YOU THINK. Kevin was his same sweet self the minute he woke up and he is getting better so fast it makes my head spin. He actually went back to work about 1.5 weeks after surgery for several hours a day. For the S.O. post-surgery is so much better than pre-surgery, because the wait and worry are over and you can actually help. This is much better for we s.o.s.

Well, good luck. Kevin and I are sending positive energy your way. Everything will be fine.

Julie
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[Kevin's wife]

Hi Debbie

Hi Debbie

Hi Debbie:
You're right: this site does help. My husband had surgery almost three weeks ago. In the last month before the surgery, we were both obsessive about visiting VR.com. We got more practical information reading the posts, than from any of the many doctors/surgeons we talked to. After all, none of them have actually undergone the surgery in the way their patients do. Here are a few things that really helped me, although I know everyone is different.

1. If possible make sure someone else is taking care of your kids while your husband is in the hospital. You will need to have all your energy and focus on him. I stayed with my husband in the hospital after he got out of ICU, and, of course he got much more attention that way.

2. Your kids want to know what's going on, but mine didn't want to know too much. They didn't visit Kevin in the hospital which worked fine for us. (14 and 16). He was only there for 3 days, and because it was summertime, they had lots of fun activities to distract them. I was on the phone with them a couple of times during the surgery. Once they heard he was awake after the surgery, their concerns disappeared. Kids!!!!

3. My doctor prescribed me a low dose of anti-anxiety medication. I took it the day before, the day of, and for a few days after surgery. It helped me stay calm, but it was a low enough dose that it didn't make me sleepy or weird.

4. Plan many walking routes for you and your husband when he comes home. They need to walk several times a day, and you'll get bored, believe me, if you don't think of new places to go and take walks. Parks are great because there is usually a lot of shade and benches to rest. When people ask what they can do, tell them that the nicest thing they can do is come over and take your husband out for a walk. That gives you a break, and is great for him too.

Reading your profile, and believing that bi-cuspid people are very smart and thrive on physical activity, I'm guessing your husband is in his 40s and fit.
My husband is 48 and very fit--although about 20 lbs. overweight. So. If you're anything like us, THIS IS GOING TO BE MUCH BETTER THAN YOU THINK. Kevin was his same sweet self the minute he woke up and he is getting better so fast it makes my head spin. He actually went back to work about 1.5 weeks after surgery for several hours a day. For the S.O. post-surgery is so much better than pre-surgery, because the wait and worry are over and you can actually help. This is much better for we s.o.s.

Well, good luck. Kevin and I are sending positive energy your way. Everything will be fine.

Julie
%0
%0

 

[jayaresq]

Hi Debbie and Jack

Hi Debbie and Jack

. . . and welcome to the best-ever website for info, encouragement and comfort. Kevin's Wife's advice is right on and good for you both to keep in mind through surgery. My story is a lot like yours. My bicuspid aortic valve replacement was 8 days ago. The WORST part was the last week of waiting and playing mind games with my own head. The BEST part was this last week after surgery healing with my friends visits, walking and talking with my girlfriend, feeling myself getting stronger and knowing that all will be well again.

Avail yourself of this website. The people that sustain it are a godsend. Good luck to you both. -- Jim

 

[Michelle]

Welcome aboard Debbie, I just wanted to chime in with my support. Also, remember that depression is common following surgery. For myself, I wasn't expecting it and it made post surgery with my husband difficult for me. Had I been expecting it I wouldn't have gotten my feelings hurt. I remember feeling like we just survived open heart surgery( a cause for real celebration) and he was grumpy and sullen. I didn't understand why he wouldn't be feeling as joyous as I was.
I wish I would have thought of Keven's wife's suggestion of people taking walks with Hank ( My hubby ) Great idea!!!

 

[tobagotwo]

Welcome to the site. There are answers to a lot of questions buried in this membership, and "coming out" gets you a mining claim.

A few thoughts...

- I found that patient-controlled Fentanyl worked better than morphine for me. Although it is in the same drug family, it blocked the pain, but didn't leave me "out of it" or unable to focus. It also seems to have fewer intestinal effects than morphine. It helps to ask about it up front.

- Make sure when you leave that they give him more than a handful of Tylenol, unless he has drug restrictions due to interactions. I had Tramadol, others have had various other prescriptions, but I have always felt bad for those who were just dumped on the sidewalk with a few acetaminophen capsules and a pat on the head. Pain can interfere with healing, so don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if you need it. It doesn't help the healing process to "guts it out."

- Ask them to use tape, rather than a "lip clip" to hold the breathing tube. My clip left me with a two-day fat lip for no advantage to the hospital or me.

- Posture is important to breathing, and breathing is a big part of early recovery.

- Gentle movement is also helpful in reducing swelling and general loosening up of clenched muscles (he will have some). Consider the advice of Satchell Paige, the oldest man to pitch major league baseball, who exhorted people to stay loose: 'Sort of jangle around while you walk.'

Best wishes,

 

[Debbie]

Husbands surgery

Husbands surgery

Thanks for all of the thoughts and info! We are just in the waiting pattern for next friday! We have alot of family anf friends that are offering help and will be here for the operation. My Mom is going to stay with us the whole time he is in the hospital to take care of the kids and then she is taking the older two with her for a week after he gets home, which should keep it pretty quiet for a little while he recouperates.
I will try to keep in mind all of your advise. I am sure that I will need it after the operation!!!
Jack is 41 and we have three kids(12, 8, 3). He is in fairly good shape and does a lot of traveling for his job. I am not sure how this will affect his traveling, but from what I read not very much!
As you said it is a very scarey thing to go through and deal with. We are surprised how many people have heart problems and valve problems. You don't realize it until you are going through it and then you hear from so many with the same problems!

Again, Thanks to all for your advice and thoughts!!!

Debbie

 

[rbl1999]

Hi, I am also pretty new to this forum, all the information you are getting is the very best. I had aorta valve replacement last week, have been home since Tuesday.. And, yes, let people help. My husband has been (I have to admit) better than I expected!!! He has been thru a kidney transplant and prostate cancer but has never had to take care of me. My son also is here for a week, his name is chief cook and bottle washer!!!!!! He literally has done all the cooking, cleaning, and errands , and of course it is nice to have him here.. Just try to keep your life as simple as possible during this time. I wish you all the best!!!!!! Rose

 

[Nancy]

Here's some things you can get together for you during your time in the waiting room.

A nice little canvas or other carry bag with handles-something sturdy that can be laundered.
Crossword puzzle book or other thing that could help to pass the time
Prepaid calling card to call whomever
Roll of quarters for vending machines
Pkg. of Altoids or other strong mints (mouth can get dry when you are nervous)
Small bottle of mouthwash
Immodium (I was glad I had that!)
Small pkg. of Tums
Aspirin, Advil or other headache remedy
Some hard candies
A neck roll pillow, like those used for traveling
A small throw, nerves can make you cold
A pad and pencil
A list of important phone numbers
Pkg. of hand wipes or baby wipes
Small bottle of Purell
Small pkg. of Kleenex
Travel size hand lotion
Lip balm

You can also do this for your husband. Sit together with him and draw some stickmen or simple pictures of things he might be trying to communicate to you or the nurse, when he is on the ventilator. These would be things like "need suction", potty, cold, itch, nausea, pain, thanks, "how did I do?", "what happened during my surgery?", "did you call--- ?" and anything else you can think of.

Also try to get together a telephone tree. You yourself will be so exhausted that calling a ton of family and friends after surgery will be a HUGE chore. Yes, people will be offended that you didn't call them personally, but honestly, you will have to take good care of you. Your husband will be leaning on you heavily in the hospital and at home too, for the first couple of weeks, and you won't be getting much sleep.

And, please stay with him as much as you can. Things in the ICU are usually wonderful as far as care is concerned, but once you leave that rarified air, the care starts to drop off, and you're husband will need you, plus make sure you watch everything that is done to and for him with eagle eyes. He will be rather helpless and you will need to be his strong advocate.

 

[bvdr]

Hi Debbie, I just want to add another welcome to our on-line family of valvers. Everyone of us who have had surgery know that our family is a very very important part of this whole event. Your husband is a lucky man to have you there digging out information right along with him.

 

[Cris N]

Also try to get together a telephone tree. You yourself will be so exhausted that calling a ton of family and friends after surgery will be a HUGE chore. Yes, people will be offended that you didn't call them personally, but honestly, you will have to take good care of you. Your husband will be leaning on you heavily in the hospital and at home too, for the first couple of weeks, and you won't be getting much sleep.

You might also check into whether or not your hospital has a "patient update" webpage - where you type in the current update and friends & family can look at it online. If your hospital does not offer this service you can avail yourself of the service here: http://www.caringbridge.org

Will keep you and Jack in my thoughts & prayers.

Cris

 

[DuchessBear]

Hi Debbie

I can't add much to the great advice already posted here, but I can tell you that you and your husband will be in excellent hands at Inova Fairfax Hospital. They were wonderful to me 4 years ago, and now they have a new Heart Institute which opened only last year.

Best wishes for a successful journey up and down "the mountain".

 

[Debbie]

Husbands sugery

Husbands sugery

Thanks for all of your advice and support! I really appreciate it! We are both getting a little anxious about the surgery since its this Friday.


Duchessbear: Who was your surgeon? Jack's is Dr. Burton. The all seem to really know what they are doing and Inova has a new wing just for heart surgery.

Thanks!
Debbie

 

[tobagotwo]

Excellent point about the small children. He just shouldn't deal with small children, as he shouldn't be picking much up for a while (the limit starts around five pounds and moves up gradually - i.e. no lifting a gallon of milk).

Babies he could drop, or hurt himself trying not to. Any child under five is a major lap risk, because they (especially the two-year-olds) will without doubt, smack the back of their heads into his chest when getting up. Older kids have elbows that always seem to find the mark. Almost every valver who has dealt with younguns around that age has felt that pain.

So, just wave the little ones away. For a few weeks, Daddy is The Good Furniture.

Best wishes,