help help

[2hartsas1]

I am not able to post-thos we will see if this one makes it or not LOL
The thing I wanted to say is this- my hubby passed this past APRIL 13TH.He never had his heart valve replacement, always got close but then always backed out
I havent been here in a long while, but we have had a hard time all around. Him getting so sick and me as well. But now I am alone.
Its just so sad. Victor was only 64. I miss him so much. He was everything to me.

I do remember a few ppl here, hank and nancy and ann... hope someone remembers us.
Take care all, and please, if anyone needs to have a procedure or operation, etc.....DO IT!!!

~2hartsas1
(1 pretty much busted to pieces now)

 

[njean]

I fairly new to the forum (2007) so I don't know you but I want to express my sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. I'm so sorry that he never took that step to get his valve fixed.....and the fact that you live in Houston, one of the mecca's for heart surgeries! too bad!

Take care of yourself!

 

[Ross]

We often wondered what happened to Victor and you. You became a topic a time or two. I certainly remember you. If you could provide me with the dates of birth and passing and perhaps the obituary, I can give him a spot in the In Loving Memory Forum.

I'm sorry to hear of his passing, but we all tried to talk some sense into him. It's a sad shame that it ended like this.

For those that don't remember Shirley and Victor:

http://www.valvereplacement.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7026&highlight=victor

 

[2hartsas1]

Thank You Hank and Norma

Thank You Hank and Norma

Hi Hank! (make that Ross LOL thanks Ross)
Yes I do suppose we were a 'topic' a time or 2,...I rememebr well everyone trying to talk some sense into my Victor. He even got on the bb himself once or so...sigh.....there was just no telling him anything.
He lived longer than the dox had 'given' him...he thought that was a big deal. To me, it was just short changing both of us.
Thank you for rememebring us. I would LOVE to gather all the info you asked for!! That would be awesome !! Thank you so much for offering that!!!
~Shirley
ps if this DOES post- i am having serious trouble posting! keeps kicking me back to start and telling me to sign in when I already am. Yet at the bottom it says I AM able to post, etc....
sniff
also do u have a pm to me? I cant get to that either LOL

 

[Lynlw]

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. It is such a shame, I'll keep you in my thoughts.

 

[Ross]

Shirley, log out and then log in again and check the box for "remember me" before putting in your password. That should solve the issue.

 

[Nancy]

I remember Victor and you, and I am so sorry he is gone. I also lost my husband Joe in 2006. Please accept my sincere condolences at your terrible loss.

There are many here who have wondered over the years what happened to Victor.

May God bless you in your grief.

 

[2hartsas1]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and for rememebring us.
I have to say-the last 2 years have been hell-for us both. what hurts so much now is that his passing was all uncalled for. he could have tried to help himslef. He was just so so afraid. So many of you tried so hard to help in so many ways. And I thank each and every one.
Ross, (it IS 'Hank' isn't it?)thank you for pulling that thread up. I had been trying to find posts, of mine from the past. you're a doll (no matter what 'they' say -LOL LOL!!!)
Thank you so much.
~Shirley

 

[Ross]

Nope, I'm Ross, Hank is Hank and is in New Orleans at the VR Reunion right now.

We never know what may happen. He may have went for it and not made it. I lost my best friend just over a month ago. He went for his 3rd surgery and didn't make it. He and I discussed the odds because they gave him some ridiculous number that we both knew not to be true. He was at peace with his decision to go forward anyhow. I didn't want to believe it would happen, but I think we both knew just before he went in.

 

[Nancy]

Shirley, Victor lived his life on his own terms. No one can predict the future. Ross is so right.

I am sure he suffered greatly with symptoms. But, it was his life and his decision. We all have to make our own choices.

In time, you will find peace with it.

 

[2hartsas1]

Ross

Ross

sorry, LOL, my remember-er isnt functioning all that well these days. but yes now i do remember-sorry Ross.

true, Victor may not have puilled through, and now I will never know. Maybe I was lucky and I got a bit more time with him than I would have-who knows.
Sorry you lost your friend Ross.

Victor stats are:
DOB: Nov. 14, 1944
Passing: April 13, 2009
the obit was in the Houston Chronicle either that following Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday-that stuff is all packed away in a place it is hard to get to. Is it possible you could look it up? I dont have the rescources to do such.

also, I have a place where I have have a website-memory for him, it is:
http://www.last-memories.com
under-Victor Stone Butts-that was his full name.

Good to see everyone again.
Hi Nancy

 

[2hartsas1]

Nancy

Nancy

Thank you Nancy. I hope I do. I just really miss him. You know how that is. I was chief cook and bottle washer here....now I am the last little Indian.

check the weblink I posted on my reply to Ross.

Its really good to talk with you all again.
~shirley

 

[Ross]

sorry, LOL, my remember-er isnt functioning all that well these days. but yes now i do remember-sorry Ross.

true, Victor may not have puilled through, and now I will never know. Maybe I was lucky and I got a bit more time with him than I would have-who knows.
Sorry you lost your friend Ross.

Victor stats are:
DOB: Nov. 14, 1944
Passing: April 13, 2009
the obit was in the Houston Chronicle either that following Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday-that stuff is all packed away in a place it is hard to get to. Is it possible you could look it up? I dont have the rescources to do such.

also, I have a place where I have have a website-memory for him, it is:
http://www.last-memories.com
under-Victor Stone Butts-that was his full name.

Good to see everyone again.
Hi Nancy

Thank you, it's now in the forum.

I think about things like this all the time. My buddy knew he could put surgery off and just live the rest of his life out, but he was tired of being on oxygen 24/7/365 like myself. For me, I know for fact that I will not make it through another major surgery. I'm in worse shape then my buddy was. Victor might well have known the same thing in his own mind and chose to simply enjoy the time he had with you rather then hasten his departure.

Your right, we may never know, but I have the feeling that this is the way he looked at it.

 

[2hartsas1]

(((Ross))))

(((Ross))))

That is exactly how he saw things honey. and he was on oxegyn in the end. you know what- I got 5 more years with my sweetheart that the dox always said would never be. I consider myself lucky.
8 years altogether. Well, short 3 mos.
I loved that man so much. He was a one of a kind. He is in the VA cematary here in houston- on his stone-in part- it reads- "I did it my way". as thats what he wanted there. He always did things his way. To a degree- there is a lot to be said for that mindset.
I wish his little sweet self hadnt had to go so hard, things were hellish here in the end. but from Victor, I would have expected no less. He wasnt done yet doing things-his way.

You are sweet Ross. Thank you for putting my honey in the memories forum.
Looking back on all the posts in the old "End of my rope" thread....really brought back the memories.
How can it all have been-so long ago?
You all take care of one another Ross.
I'll be around-time to time.
~shirley
ps-so glad to have had the chance to have so many wonderful ppl thinking of us.

 

[Praline]

I don't know if you remember me but I remember the two of you.It is very hard when you lose someone you love.It is like a piece of you is gone. I lost my husband March 19, 2007. He had lung cancer.It was diagnosed too late to operate. But even before the biopsy, he said that nobody was cutting on him. So even if there had been a chance with surgery, he would have refused to do it.I just had to accept that it was his decision, not mine to make.
Please take care of yourself.
Praline

 

[Nancy]

I checked out the site, very nice. He looks like a darling man, and he looks just as I imagined he would from all you told us. Terrible tragedy and loss.

I hope you will stay around here, Shirley. I believe you have a lot to offer to scared folks. It may be just what they need to get surgery for themselves.

 

[2hartsas1]

Hi Praline, yes I do remember you honey. So Sorry for your loss. Yes such decisions are individual and persnal. just always so hard for those of us on the close 'sidelines'
please feel free to light a candle for Victor on the site I made, which Ross posted for me on the memories forum.

Take care.
~Shirley

 

[2hartsas1]

Thank you Nancy, feel free to light a candle for Victor on the site if you like. That goes for anyone at all.

he was precious. and my hero. I miss him.

I will be around. Thank you for asking.

It's hard for me to believe its been 6mos already since he has been gone....strange.

So glad I came back here and found you all.
Hugs to all,
~Shirley

 

[hensylee]

Hey, Shirley. so good to see you but so sorry that Victor has gone on, but that's what he wanted. Maybe RCB and Rain had it right. He lived by his own rules. I have re-read every post in the thread Ross gave us and find it a very important thread for all of us here at VR and maybe we should all read it again or for the first time.

I wish you peace and happiness and hope you can successfully resolve what you are feeling now. You are angry at Victor but it will pass. that's part of the grieving process. As we said before, stay with us and come in at ANY time and you will find somebody waiting for you. Blessins, my dear. It will be alright.

 

[2hartsas1]

Hi Ann

Hi Ann

Good to see you. Yes, I expect what you say is right. Who'd uh thunk it huh.

Victor knew what he was doing. Deep down- I knew he was right...but I sure never wanted to accept it. Like I told Ross, I jsut wanted him to live forever is all. Not much to ask a fella.
I sure do miss him
Did you see his website I made him? Feel free to go to it and light a candle- you may have already I dont remember right this minute. I know a few did.

I miss him Ann.

I will stay around.
~shirley