H
Harpoon
Contrary to Ross (I suspect anyways) there are a few people who "just did it" and made it through.
I know how scary it can get though at times. My fear really came up after surgery, while recovering in the hospital. I had had several set backs and happen to be a very "complex" case with a fairly rare heart defect that I was born with and a lot of other issues that were going on before I made it to the OR to have my tricuspid valve replaced.
I will tell you though, you will most certainly be out cold, you may not even remember getting into the OR and leaving a few hours later, you might not even remember anything that happened the day AFTER surgery. Most folks are like that.
The TEE experience sucks, but you should know that it's a different kind of "sedation." in a TEE, they want you in a light sleep so that your body is relaxed and comfortable and you won't interfere (whether intentionally or not) with the test being performed. It's possible that the anesthesiologist wasn't quite on the ball and didn't having you as far "down" as you were supposed to be. That's unfortunate and it should have been picked up right away, before they did anything else, but in general surgery it's a VERY VERY different story.
If you actually look at a time line for how they perform open hear surgerys, you would have been hour for half an hour or more before they really get going. On top of that, they generally put your body into a sort of stasis, almost like hibernation, where your metabolism slows down and a lot of normal bodily functions just stop. That's why you're on a breathing machine during that time. You'll never know any of it.
I can't remember ANYTHING in the hours prior and the first few weeks following (again, I was a "special case") my valve replacement, however I have some vivid memories of the last surgery I had which was to fix some internal bleeding (again, the "special case" bit.)
I was wheeled into the OR in a chair and had some help standing then moving to sit on the operating table. They helped me lay down and started to get me ready. They put those tight kneehigh stockings on and set up my arms for the IV's and sprayed some stuff in my mouth to numb my throat for the intubation.
The next thing I remember is someone applying some pressure to my chest and calling my name to get me to open my eyes and acknowledge them, that was maybe three hours later, well after surgery.
The few hours after that were in and out of sleep until, about 8 or so at night, I was back in my "own" bed in the step-down unit where I had been before my last operation.
I had a similar experience, without the part of being woken up after surgery, a year before when I had a hernia repair. They were setting thing up in the OR and were going to try and do the surgery under a local with light sedation. That plan didn't work out for the doctors (I suspect I was feeling it but I don't remember anything) and they knocked me out. My next memory was of being in a recovery room where my (now) wife and father were waiting for me to wake up. About 90 minutes later they let me go home, it was an outpatient proceedure.
I know you remember the TEE and it's a very bad experience for you, but EVERYONE here who's had OHS will tell you that they really don't remember ANYTHING from the surgery. A few people remember being intubated and that can be a little disconcerting, but there will be constant supervision by nurse and doctors to keep you safe and relaxed. I'd "guesstimate" maybe 1 out of 5 of the people post-op here remember being intubated after surgery. I'm one of the 4 that doesn't have a clue what happened to me beyond what others have told me well after the fact. =)
It's scary, it's damn near terrifying, but a lot of it is just in your head and the best thing I've found is to remind yourself that the people that are helping you are HELPING you and that they are professionals with tremendous skill and experience. Most of the doctors and nurses you will see have seen hundreds of patients before you. You may be the third or fourth patient they've operated on that day even. Some places are like that.
Your fears are valid, but only in that they are fears, not reality. Even more importantly, regardless of your fears, you need to get this done for your survival and for the sake of your family. Try to find strength in that if nothing else.
This isn't a piece of cake, not for anyone, but it's not impossible for you either.
I know how scary it can get though at times. My fear really came up after surgery, while recovering in the hospital. I had had several set backs and happen to be a very "complex" case with a fairly rare heart defect that I was born with and a lot of other issues that were going on before I made it to the OR to have my tricuspid valve replaced.
I will tell you though, you will most certainly be out cold, you may not even remember getting into the OR and leaving a few hours later, you might not even remember anything that happened the day AFTER surgery. Most folks are like that.
The TEE experience sucks, but you should know that it's a different kind of "sedation." in a TEE, they want you in a light sleep so that your body is relaxed and comfortable and you won't interfere (whether intentionally or not) with the test being performed. It's possible that the anesthesiologist wasn't quite on the ball and didn't having you as far "down" as you were supposed to be. That's unfortunate and it should have been picked up right away, before they did anything else, but in general surgery it's a VERY VERY different story.
If you actually look at a time line for how they perform open hear surgerys, you would have been hour for half an hour or more before they really get going. On top of that, they generally put your body into a sort of stasis, almost like hibernation, where your metabolism slows down and a lot of normal bodily functions just stop. That's why you're on a breathing machine during that time. You'll never know any of it.
I can't remember ANYTHING in the hours prior and the first few weeks following (again, I was a "special case") my valve replacement, however I have some vivid memories of the last surgery I had which was to fix some internal bleeding (again, the "special case" bit.)
I was wheeled into the OR in a chair and had some help standing then moving to sit on the operating table. They helped me lay down and started to get me ready. They put those tight kneehigh stockings on and set up my arms for the IV's and sprayed some stuff in my mouth to numb my throat for the intubation.
The next thing I remember is someone applying some pressure to my chest and calling my name to get me to open my eyes and acknowledge them, that was maybe three hours later, well after surgery.
The few hours after that were in and out of sleep until, about 8 or so at night, I was back in my "own" bed in the step-down unit where I had been before my last operation.
I had a similar experience, without the part of being woken up after surgery, a year before when I had a hernia repair. They were setting thing up in the OR and were going to try and do the surgery under a local with light sedation. That plan didn't work out for the doctors (I suspect I was feeling it but I don't remember anything) and they knocked me out. My next memory was of being in a recovery room where my (now) wife and father were waiting for me to wake up. About 90 minutes later they let me go home, it was an outpatient proceedure.
I know you remember the TEE and it's a very bad experience for you, but EVERYONE here who's had OHS will tell you that they really don't remember ANYTHING from the surgery. A few people remember being intubated and that can be a little disconcerting, but there will be constant supervision by nurse and doctors to keep you safe and relaxed. I'd "guesstimate" maybe 1 out of 5 of the people post-op here remember being intubated after surgery. I'm one of the 4 that doesn't have a clue what happened to me beyond what others have told me well after the fact. =)
It's scary, it's damn near terrifying, but a lot of it is just in your head and the best thing I've found is to remind yourself that the people that are helping you are HELPING you and that they are professionals with tremendous skill and experience. Most of the doctors and nurses you will see have seen hundreds of patients before you. You may be the third or fourth patient they've operated on that day even. Some places are like that.
Your fears are valid, but only in that they are fears, not reality. Even more importantly, regardless of your fears, you need to get this done for your survival and for the sake of your family. Try to find strength in that if nothing else.
This isn't a piece of cake, not for anyone, but it's not impossible for you either.
