Having Mitral Valve Replacement and SCARED!!!

[LisaRose122]

Hello everyone,I am new to the site and I am really scared.I was scheduled for Mitral Valve Replacement yetserday morning and I made it as far as the holding area of the O.R. and I panicked and they couldn't calm me down so they cancelled my surgery and sent me home.They said if I don't get this surgery I will die and I don't want to die.I have 2 children,my daughter is 16 and also 7 months pregnant with my 1st grandchild and my son is 13 1/2.They need me as my husband,their Father was killed almost 5 years ago.I have a caring,loving and wonderful family and boyfriend.I just don't know if I can do this surgery,I am so scared!!!!The surgeon that is doing it did my Mom's quadruple bypass 3 years ago this month and also my dad's biopsy surgery about a month ago and I know he is really good....I am just so afraid and I think it is all because of a TEE test I had,my IV was clogged and I didn't get the sedation and so I went through that with NOTHING!!!!I also had a double heart catherization and it showed that my arteries are all clear,there is no blockages what so ever and my heart is good and strong....just the mitral valve is bad from childhood rheumatic fever that we never knew I had and I didn't have no symptoms of the Mitral Valve Stenosis until this past march.
Can someone please help me as I don not want to die.
Thank you all.
(((HUGS)))
Lisa Duty

 

[fyrfytr]

Hey Lisa,
I am glad you posted. You will be hearing from some very caring people. It was nice talking to you on yahoo. Just remember you need to do this for your kids and new Grandchild that will be here soon.
Take Care

 

[Bryan B]

Lisa,

Most of us wanted to do what you did...run like hell!

It sounds like you know what you need to do, you just need a little more "courage" on the day that you are scheduled to do it. You might ask your surgeon if a little pre-sedation, sedation is in order. In other words, something like a Xanax or Valium to calm your nerves before you get to the hospital. Something about walking through those doors is scary. I took a Xanax when I got up on the morning of the surgery (cleared by anesthesiologist the day before during pre-op visit). It kept me pretty calm until they could give me the really good stuff. Don't worry about what happened...just reschedule and try it again!

 

[Sherry]

Hi, Lisa,
I know you're scared. It is a very frightening ordeal indeed. I had my replacement seven years ago at the age of 33, and I was totally ignorant of what was going on. I knew I had had the R.F. as a child (like you) and that it caused the prolapse, but I always just thought I could live with it. I had two young boys and a great husband so when the doc presented it as a serious condition, I just naively accepted it. One thing I remember, though, is getting the serious shakes in the OR holding area that morning and the doc ordering me to take a few valiums. I was out cold lickety split and didn't even know when I was being wheeled in for the surgery. Just a suggestion. Anyway, as Dave has already mentioned, your kids and future grandbaby need you healthy. Take care and more will offer their support soon.

 

[Harrybaby666]

Hi There Lisa

Hi There Lisa

Hi There Lisa,

I just want to welcome you to this awesome website full of caring, comical, sensitive, fantastic, compassionate, and just downright nice people who all want nothing but the best for each other. I too, at some point will have to have my mitral valve replaced along with my aortic valve if that gets any worse...and I will be blatently honest with you...I AM EVERY BIT AS SCARED AS YOU ARE...I HAVE A HORRIBLE FEAR OF OPERATING ROOMS...To the point where I am almost in tears. I have been through some lesser surgeries in the past couple of years, and I have been scared to death at those as well...MY MESSAGE HERE: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.... I know your frightened...but you know, like with me, the one thing that keeps me from being as frightened is knowing that my cat is there and he needs me...Just like your two children...Try and stay strong...Take Care. Harrybaby666 P.S. A little humor never hurt anyone...LOL

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Hello Lisa,

I am surprised and amazed that the Doctor doing the TEE did not realize something was amiss. That should be reported to the hospital. You should also mention that incident to your Heart Surgeon and Anesthesiologist so they understand your fear and can help you to through it.

You need to know that first time Valve Replacement Surgeries for people under age 60 have less than 1% morbidity and mortality rates when performed by experienced surgeons and their teams.

Know that our members survived their Valve Replacement Surgery or is a family member of a survivor.

"If we can do it, YOU can do it too."
BELIEVE THAT and you will be fine.

A Positive Mental Attitude is one of the best facilitators to a successful recovery. We will be here to hold your hand as you 'climb the mountain' and go on to lead a healthier life. Now please call your Surgeon and talk about what can be done to help you through this.

'AL'

 

[joy]

Hi Lisa, welcome to the site. I am 26, and I had my mitral valve replaced three years ago. I had Rhuematic fever as a child that wasn't detected until I was dx ed with mitral stenosis. The real kicker was I was 5 months pregnant and ended up in a coma because of it. The surgery isn't as bad as it sounds. I mean, yeah, open heart surgery, but wuth the technology they have today, you have less than one percent of dying in surgery. I have two kids, and am not having anymore. If you have a family that is willing to support you, now is the time to use them. I didn't have much pain after my surgery, but every night I took a percocet before bed so I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night in pain. In the hospital, they will take excellent care of you. Where are you having your surgery? Who is your surgeon? Who is your cardiolgist? It is important to have a cardiologist and a PCM, along with your surgeon that are willing to communicate. I have that. I had a 3 month old, and a 2 1/2 year old at the time I had my surgery, and my mom came out so my husband could be at my side as much as possible. I actually asked him to spend time with the kids and help my mom out more though. I also made out a will before my surgery just in case so I would have my affairs in order for my kid's sake, and for my husband. Now is the best time for you to have the surgery, because when the baby comes, your daughter will need you. I will PM you with my e-mail address and yahoo IM user name, if you need to talk to someone who has been there. We are a close knit "family" here on VR.com. You'll be fine.

Joy

 

[bvdr]

Hi Lisa,

Welcome to our forum. I'm another one who had heart damage from rheumatic fever. And like you, I was unaware that I had even had rheumatic fever. It is amazing how much damage can slowly occur without us having symptoms.

The surgery wasn't as bad as I had expected. But it is serious and you do want to have a surgeon who does this pretty routinely. If you get a chance spend some time reading old posts. There is a wealth of information there.

Very few people die during this surgery but most of us would have died shortly if we hadn't have had it. I'm sorry about you losing your husband at such a young age. You know first hand the heartbreak of an early death of a loved one. You have lost the innocence of thinking "it can never happen to me". I think everyone of us had fears about heart surgery and for so many of us, the survival of it has become a reference point in our lives. There is the time before the surgery (or surgeries) and the time afterwards. Because of it, the time afterwards becomes all the more precious.

I think fear of death itself is a spiritual issue. It is a great freedom to not have to carry it around. In this time before your surgery, make sure you spend some time taking care of eternal issues. You may end up looking back at this time of your life as a time of great blessings. It sounds like you already have been blessed with a loving family. I hope and pray for you that you have many years of improved health to spend with those you love so much.

 

[Glenda]

Lisa, bless your heart. Hugs and prayers are coming your way. Most of us have all been there. There is no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't had my surgery when I did, I wouldn't be here today. Don't put this off too long. You don't want to do more damage by waiting. Get it done and over with and stary living again, if not for yourself, for your family and especially that grandbaby.

 

[Kelly Luisi]

Lisa - I know what you are going through, as I am getting ready to have my PV replaced on October 6th. I have had OHS before, when I was 15. I am now a mother of two wonderful little boys age 9 and 6. Everytime I think "I CAN"T DO THIS", I think of those boys of mine. Remember the day you gave birth to both of them, and you held each of them in your arms. Remember how you just knew you would give them your world and whatever they needed to become a wonderful person? Well, you are what is most important to those kids, and that new little BABY ON THE WAY! They have been through so much with the loss of their father. As scarey as it is, you HAVE to do it for them. The alternative would collapse their lives forever and leave them with nothing to believe in! Yes, it is a major operation - but you can so this, for the love of your children!!!! It will be uncomfortable at first, you may be tired... but you NOT having surgery will bring on far worse symptoms and a another tragic loss for your children! Not having you around to share the joys and sorrows of life that will present themselves in your childrens lives would be a continual tragidy for them. You need to trust your surgeon, as you have had experience with him before that was very favorable! Think of how you would have felt if either of your parents had given up and decided to not have their life saving surgeries?
You can do this! Think of all the wonderful things this operation will provide you.... the opportunity to hold your grandson? to watch your kids graduate for high school? To find happiness again? To watch all the exciting times that are ahead of your children as they journey through life?

You are strong Lisa, you have been through so much... you have to believe in yourself and your faith!

Get yourself "heart healthy" for those beautiful children of your and that new grand baby! Believe in yourself!

My prayers are with you!

Kelly

 

[Lisa in Katy]

We must be twins!

We must be twins!

I had my mitral valve replaced 6 years ago. The damage was also from Rheumatic Fever, although I was aware that I had it - spent a month in the hospital and missed 3 months of 9th grade. Yes, surgery is scary, but not the result of not having surgery is scarier. I had 22 years to think about my future surgery, but still felt a little panicked. I really hugged my 2 children a lot in those few weeks before surgery. Definitely ask for something to calm you before surgery, but remember, if you don't have surgery, you'll be dead, and you don't want your family to remember you for that!

By the way, I'm assuming your name is Lisa Rose and that is also my name. I'll be praying for you, my twin.

 

[Ross]

There isn't a one of us that didn't feel the same way. Some tough guys like to pretend they had it together, but they don't fool any of the rest of us, they were scared as little kids too.

My wife dropped me at the door of the hospital so she could go park the car. She wanted me to wait right there on the sidewalk for her. I looked into her eyes and told her no, that if I didn't walk straight in those doors and get into the reception area right then, I would not go through with it and she'd have to meet me in the reception area. Yes, I was that scared!

The reality is, if you don't do something, your not going to be around very long. Doing this isn't easy, but you will get better and perhaps feel better then you have in years. Build up the courage and most certainly speak to the Doctor about presedation. They gave me Vallium as soon as they saw how shaken up I was and after that, I couldn't have cared less. It's doable, it's just hard doing it.

 

[Debrinha GT]

Join the crowd!

Join the crowd!

Hello Lisa, and welcome to this site. I know the feeling so well! I'm a 39 year old Brazilian who was also a victim of rheumatic fever at the age of seven. Since then, I've already had three mital valve replacements, all with tissue valves. Early this year, the cardio told me that the problems has started again and well, I know very well where this will take me. Back to the operating theatre. If you ask me if I'm scared, the answer is yes, but never once did I consider running away for I'm well aware of what might happen if I did . Anyway, I hope you decide to have the operation and if you like, you can also get in touch with me on yahoo messenger or email me. I'll be more than happy to be of help to you . Take care and do what has to be done however hard it may be. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband and I'm sure that if he could say something to you right now, he would ask you to go back and do it. Remember, you have a whole family there who loves you so, if you can, try to focus your attention on that and you should get the strength you need to go ahead with it.

Débora from Brazil

 

[Debrinha GT]

I've just remembered!

I've just remembered!

Do you like chatting, Lisa? Since you're new to the site you might not know about our chats on Sunday evenings. Go to Small Talk and you'll find a thread called Sunday chat where you can get some more information on how it works. Feel free to join us later on and I'm sure everybody will be happy to help you with your doubts.

Débora

 

[doberman]

You will be OK!

You will be OK!

You must calm yourself in go in for your operation for the sake of your kids and grandkids. You will be OK. I am 5 weeks post-op tomorrow and I feel great. You really will be OK! Try and think about how much better you will feel in the future. Imagine if they had no cure for your valve problem you would be praying for a miracle. Well in a lot of ways this surgery is a miracle (to me anyway) the surgeon is going to make you well. I had very little pain with my operation. I have a little girl and boy at home I kissed them before I went to the hospital and knew I would see them soon. I will say it again you really have nothing to be afraid of! Trust all of us on this site and book a new apointment.
Warm Regards
JD

 

[catwoman]

Lisa:
It's natural to be afraid of surgery and you're in good company here -- I'd say that mostl, if not all, of us had some fears pre-op.
One of the things that got me into the OR was realizing that many, many people had undergone valve replacement surgery and (1) survived and (2) had their lives greatly improved as a result.

Yes, there is some soreness after surgery -- but very few surgeries are totally painless.

Have your doctor give something to help relax you -- and go through those OR doors and start your climb back down the mountain so you can come back here and tell us about your repair job -- and how great you're feeling post-op.

 

[KathyH]

Lisa, as the others have said, we all were scared. You need to get yourself into a positive state of mind before you have the surgery. When my surgeon told me my surgery was postponed for a day, I thought about running away- it is a natural instinct- part of the flight or fight. I found that my belief in God helped me along with the love and support of family and friends.
Take time to read some of the threads on this board, I know it helped me to realize what had to be done. Sometimes it helps just to read alittle at a time, whatever it takes to help you.
Talk to your doctor about some sedation beforehand, but really you must have a good frame of mind to go thru this surgery. I had my aortic valve replaced due to RF 5 months ago and I really feel so much better. NO shortness of breath no palpitations.
Good Luck Lisa,
Kathy H

 

[atydev]

Lisa

Lisa

I had a mitral and aortic replacement with a myectomey June 21. 04 I worried but when I was in the holding room I started to panic. They sadated me as soon as I started to cry. If you don't do this you will die and then who will be there for your children and you will miss your grandchild growing up. I know you don't want that. It is not that bad. I thought it would be much worse when I woke up in Icu I was surprised for the good. I promise you will do fine and God will be with you. There are to many prayers going up for you.

 

[Georgia]

Lisa, you say your heart is good and strong; but it's not - it's crippled by the bad mitral valve. You must look at it that way. If you don't get that mitral valve replaced the healthy part of your heart will also be damaged.

Unless you take control of your fear JUST LONG ENOUGH TO GET YOU INTO THE OPERATING ROOM, you won't be able to play with your grandchild or do all those things you love. Did you learn Lamaze self-hypnosis techniques? That's something that helped me through the panicky times (and I'm a wimp and was terrified, etc.).

I'm sure you feel alone in this fear; you're not. You need to find a way to get yourself into the operating room; I'm sure that having seen you in action your physician can help you chemically.

Bless your heart, this is hard. We're here.

 

[mjd414]

Lisa, if I can get past this type of surgery anyone can. Before my AVR surgery 9 weeks ago I was never in a hospital before as a patient and visiting people in the hospital made me ill. If you have confidence in your surgeon, that's all that matters. The medical staff do this type of surgery all day long and they know exactly what they are doing. I went into the hospital on a Tuesday, was operated on the next day and went home that Saturday. That's only 5 days in total. With this type of surgery they want you out real fast which was fine with me and will be fine with you.

Given that you can die if you don't get this done means you need to go back and have faith that you will walk out in a few days. My surgeon told me that they do 150,000 procedures a year in the US and that's a lot of surgery. Try to focus on the people in your life that need you and love you and that will make it easier to face. Let the medical folks do their job and let your family do their job by being there for you.....you can do this......be well.... my prayers and thoughts are with you!