Has Surgery changed you ?

[Scottie]

hi folks ...5 months down the line and life has resumed normality again ...back to work (did I really miss it ?LOL) ..and got my social life back here ...was at Ball (in the place Madonna got married) last Sat . The down side is ...the house work has become mine again ...
I've got a question for you ...I look the same (cept the scar and you know me ..no showing that off ) ...I am better than I have been for the past two yrs health wise ...but I feel different ..not sure how or why ...just do ...sometimes feel a little outside where I am ...or the event I'm at ..as if I'm on the outside looking in ..maybe feel a little apart ?...this is not a problem and I'm not unhappy ...in fact life is good....just wondered if this is a Scots thing ..or has anyone else felt like this ?
Hope you are all in good health
Scottie

 

[hensylee]

Dear Scottie - long time ago on the old site, Rob brought that up and many said that they were changed after surgery and we don't know what does it, at least nobody had a really good answer. Just that we are changed somehow. I feel softer, gentler, more appreciative of life and people. It's just there and we accept but we wonder what happened. So, no, you are not the only one and I bet others will come along and tell you, too, that they are changed somehow. For the better.

 

[Ross]

I cannot say it any better then the way Hensylee put it.

We do change through our experiences. Some may get upset at this statement, but I feel that it's because our inner spirit is really touched upon, that this change occurs. I have no other explaination.

 

[Granbonny]

Hi Scottie

Hi Scottie

Five months post-op is still early to begin to feel like your old self again..I really believe it takes a year. I am 10 months and was just telling Ann. Went to my Grandson's basketball game today and I was the loudest one there. jumping up and down.. Before the game drove an hour down, took my daughter out for lunch..took my Grandson and his friend out on a little shopping trip..Went to the game and we all went out for dinner. Drove another hour home. While we were at dinner held my 6 week old while his Mom enjoyed her dinner..Never once did I feel like I was not capable of doing all this. Yet. 6 months ago I would never have put these precious children in a car with me or held a 6 week old baby. So..it just takes time.. I told my hubby on my first ann. March 25th I am going to do something really great. I'm thinking on planning a big cookout where I live for his basketball team..invite their parents and siblings...do all the planning and cooking....and then plan a trip to Yellowstone Natl. Park. It really gets better...Just hang in there. Bonnie

 

[terry40]

Scottie

Scottie

I'm 3 months down the road post-op, I've changed a bit, I don't want to go back to work, ever. (but I will)

I want to add a lot more fun in my life, (like now).

I try to hide "the scar" but if it shows, too bad, it's a part of me now, and I'm not ashamed of it. (it's still very red and angry looking, very noticable)

I've joined 3 support groups, 2 physical (zipper club & young at heart)and 1 on-line (VR), it's been a great help.

I'm still at rehab and faithfully go, even in the snow storms when they recommend we stay home, but they'll be there if it clear up.(I've done that 2x so far)It's been a brutal winter here!

So I guess my answer if YES, I went through more of a melancoly state right after surgery, the booklet they sent me home with said that is very normal.

Best of health to you too

Terry40

 

[Ross]

I remember after my first surgery telling the nurse that I felt like I had gone somewhere and left my old self there and brought back a new self. It was a very strange feeling and it was most definately for the better.

 

[Creed3]

Scottie,
I know what you mean. It is very hard to explain. Hensylee hit upon it pretty well. Others here may not agree, but I was just thinking the other night that my experience has brought me a little closer to God in some ways. I have always tried to be a very caring person but sometimes felt like I would hide how I felt about God if someone didn't agree...now I feel more at ease with my beliefs. I am not afraid to share my thoughts and feelings in hope that they may help someone. This may sound a little corny to some folks, but I just don't know exactly how to explain it. I just hope other people feel or will feel more secure no matter what their beliefs are. I agree with Ross, our inner spirit and soul has been touched by these experiences.

Take Care!
Gail

 

[John Cochran]

Changes, let's see...the hump on my back seems to have moved from the right side to the left side, but I no longer howl at the moon

Seriously, I think we all change after this experience. Metaphysical and religious feelings aside, we all went through a tremendous trauma, both physically and psychologically. In addition, our body chemistry was messed with in a major way, our blood took a serious beating on the heart/lung machine, and we all know our loved ones took a beating going through this with us. A small number of us almost didn't make it through this, which is perhaps even more life-altering after the fact.

With all of these factors, I don't know how anyone could not be changed. It would be nice to think it's for the better. Just ten minutes ago I hauled a big wooden ladder in from the garage to change a light bulb 18 feet up in a vaulted ceiling. I'm 8 months post-op, and never would have guessed I would be this strong and confident at this point. Modern medicine is really pretty miraculous!

--John

 

[martha]

Ross, I share you feelings. I feel like there is a deeper meaning to life. It's now been two years and two months for me. I keep my scar covered. It only shows when I wear a bathing suit. It took me a good eight months to feel put together. At the year mark, I felt like I had met a mile stone. martha

 

[Swill]

Not yet post-op

Not yet post-op

Not yet post-op, but I'm thinking that I'm not going to be hiding myscar. That may change after the surgery, but that's my plan. My scar may not be pretty, but it is a badge of what I have gone through in my life. If my brother can grow up with a 12 in scar from having half a kidney removed, I can live with my scar...

 

[epstns]

I'm with you, I think. . .

I'm with you, I think. . .

Swill, I hope that when all is said and done, I can share your thoughts on "flying the flag." I have, unfortunately, been one of those individuals who never wanted others to see that I had been through anything. The only surgical scar I have is well hidden, even in a swim suit. But, with the gravity of this one, I am trying to come to closure with the fact that scars will be what they will be. The doc's will do what they have been chosen and called upon to do, and we should be pleased to live with that. And, after all these years, I have gained comfort with my wrinkles, bifocals and grey hair, so what's one more "badge of wisdom?"

 

[Ross]

I can understand the women wanting the scar hid, but guys? I know it's a personal thing, but I have so many scars that there is no way to hide them. I seriously look like I've been through a sword fight with a surgeon! Sure, you get some strange looks and occasionally someone actually asks what happened, but wear the scar with pride. It's not that big of a deal and who knows, you might inspire someone else that is going to face the samething some day.

 

[Granbonny]

Way to go Ross

Way to go Ross

show them..Take a shirtless pic and post on the Avator..ZORRO

 

[Ross]

Everyone would be less afraid of my scar avatar then they would that darn drivers license photo. I can still hear Mara's rats screaming for mercy every time I look at this thing.

 

[Jennie]

Ah, what is a manly-man without a SCAR? All the villians have them. Harrison Ford has a very nice scar. So does our hero Ah-nold. I haven't shown my scar to many people - just a couple friends or heart-buddies, and my nephew (to try to gross him out). Most people at work don't even know that I had surgery. I am not terribly happy with my scar - it's about a quarter-inch WIDE!! What's with that? And some wires sticking up - really just one place at the very top that is noticeable. But there's nothing I can do, it comes with the package, and I'm not gonna let it get to me. I wish I was able to not worry about it showing. I remember years ago, when I was a kid, seeing a teenage-type girl on the beach, with this big scar on her chest, and I was like WOW, and the impression I got was that she was different, wierd. Not that I wanted to view her that way, but this sticks in a kid's mind. Similarly, there's a guy at work that I've known for years, and six years ago he had a heart attack and bypass surgery. Even now, every time I see him, I think, Bob had a bypass, Bob has a scar. And vain me, I don't want people to have that stick in their mind when they think of me. You know?

Surgery has changed me, in many ways, yet I am still the same person...?

Last week I saw my three-and-a-half old niece, whom I had NEVER picked up (she was a chunky baby, too heavy for me) - I showed up to take her sister out for her birthday, and this big preschooler comes barreling at me and practically dives on me! And I picked her up, and it was okay! It was, wow, I never did this with her before!

got 2 run.... just rambling....

 

[Nancy]

Joe's with you, Ross. Multiple scars front, back, up and down, long and short and a couple of puncture scars from the laparoscopes. Plus his pacemaker sticks out at the top of his chest. He heals nicely though, so they're minimal. But, really, it's his badge of honor, and he doesn't give a fig about showing them, or anything else, LOL. He figures that's the other person's problem if they don't like looking.

 

[epstns]

Well, I guess they might be like that first "ding" on a new car. The first one (that anyone can see) is the hardest one to bear. . .

 

[Swill]

Lotsa Scars...

Lotsa Scars...

Yeah, come to think of it, I've got lots of scars. Burns, cuts, scrapes. What's one more...

 

[hensylee]

I had bypass - they took 4 pieces of saphenous vein from one of my legs from ankle all the way to the groin. Shortly after the staples came out I was in optometrist office (in WalMart), wearing shorts, and a young fella came over to me and laughingly asked, "what in the world happened to your leg?" I looked up surprised and ready to tell him what happened - he was happily pointing to his own leg and had the very same scars. Made me feel right good.

 

[Ross]

he doesn't give a fig about showing them, or anything else, LOL.

I do believe that he and I have been more then abused as far as modesty goes. I bet he as well as myself no longer give a hoot about modesty. I know I couldn't care less anymore who has or hasn't seen me!