Funny stuff about grandchildren

[ponygirlmom]

Sent to me by my Dad, who is also a grandparent!

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A grandmother was applying makeup. Sitting on the bathroom floor was her young granddaughter, who always loved to watch. After Grandma applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and her husband's old shirt and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would pointed to things in the house and asked their color. She would tell me and was always correct. At last she said, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'

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A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?' 'It's simple, ' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'

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Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'

 

[Karlynn]

That was a great chuckle - thanks! Now that our granddaughter is 22 mo. old and talking up a storm, she is starting to come up with some good ones. We video chat 3 or 4 times a week and I've started to record the chats because I figure we'll come up with some "keepers" every now and then.

 

[Freddie]

Kids will say the darnest things - it shows how innocent they are.
Karlynn: thats a good idea to record your chats. I recorded my son a few times (without him knowing it) once, while he was in the bathtub singing "Bad Boys Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you" - its from the TV show Cops. To bad I didn't make a note on old he was at the time; I'm guessing around 4 or 5.
So make a note when you record your chats, they are priceless.

 

[hall]

Out of the mouths of babes They are fun to be around........that innocent age Cute.

 

[gadgetman]

This happened just last week

This happened just last week

I was at work when my cell phone rings. When I answered this frantic voice at the other end says ?Dad, I need you to stop by the store and pick up some -----?. Well, knowing my children (both grown with kids of their own) were at least 4 hours away, I tuned out and finally said ?I?m sorry, I think you?ve got the wrong number?. The person on the other end says ?Sorry, bye? and hangs up.

I started wondering if it was a local call or what. Lo and behold, when I looked at the received list my daughter?s cell phone number popped up. Curious, I called her back. My Grandson answers the phone and said ?Sorry Grandpa, I called you by mistake, bye? and hangs up.

A second or two later my cell rings again. It is my daughter, just a laughing. She said my grandson asked to use her phone to call his dad to pick up something on his way home from work. He saw ?DAD? on my daughter?s phone listing and called it.

My daughter asked him ?Why would I list YOUR father on MY cell phone under ?DAD??? Typical answer, ?I don?t know?!!!!!

Grandkids are a lot of fun. You can spoil the HECK outta them then give them back to their parents.

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[netmiff]

A bit indelicate, maybe, but true :

My godmother was driving around with a grandchild in the back of the car. They were passing the cemetery where her husband is buried, and she said "that's where grampa M****'s body is buried". Not much reaction, and they carried on with the day, shopping or whatever. On the way home, the 4-year-old voice from the back pipes up "Grandma, if Grampa M**'s body is buried there, where did they bury his head?"

 

[zipper2]

AWWWWE too cute Ponygirlmom,
Truely enjoyed the logic....20th century eh!

Reminds me of my grandaughter the other nite came
back from an outing with her parents to the fair......Well so tired
she had a bit of additude a word she truly hates but anyhow her moms
talking to her about this and asking her what shes feeling and to get
it talked about and put away for the night cus whatevers bothering her
is causing some additude. (THIS JUST MAKES ME CHUCKLE)
She pipes up and says well looking at her mom,its like a menu at
a restaurant,you cant decide what to eat,i can't decide mom what
word i'm feeling right now either her eyes and starts to cry,
and to laugh all same time.Ive got taping of my kids when they were
3 and 4 singing and talking on cassette tapings,then the video recorder
became a big hit and lots of grandaughter learning to talk and the years
fly by and i luv listening to the recordings quite often and their wee voices
especially my 21 year old son when his voice began to change and crackle
into teen age......,,I love all of it!!!!

zipper2(DEB)

 

[marie]

I love these stories. Here's one of mine.

We have a three year old grandson. His Dad was working in the yard, came in through the mudroom and took off his clothes except his underwear. Our grandson said "Put some clothes nobody wants to see that"

 

[Dennis S]

First some context. When kids are being toilet trained, the first step after diapers is often something called "pull ups". They are sort of an intermediate step between diapers and regular underwear.

Second, Ellie is three years old-and extremely self-confident. She and her Grandma have had some conversations about contradicting adults-Ellie listens, but remains very self-confident. Now to our story, which for reasons I can't fully explain, seem extremely funny.

Setting: The Bathroom
Ellie: I have to wash my hands because I go poo-poo. Poo-poo is yucky.
Me: (Our daughter) Yes, it is. We want to be clean, right?
Ellie: Yes, Agnes have ca-ca on her diaper.
Me: Agnes wears diapers? She doesn't wear panties?
Ellie: No, Agnes no wear diapers. She wears Tulips.
Me: Pull-Ups?
Ellie: No - Tulips.