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there's nothing like a good laugh...
there's nothing like a good laugh...
i agree, humor keeps things light and gets those endorphins kicking in...
i surely need it!!!
thought i'd add this that my dad just sent me:
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls,and sat down next to a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde.
The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf
balls."
Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, and
finally asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
thought this was a cute one...
there's nothing like a good laugh...
i agree, humor keeps things light and gets those endorphins kicking in...
i surely need it!!!
thought i'd add this that my dad just sent me:
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls,and sat down next to a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde.
The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf
balls."
Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, and
finally asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
thought this was a cute one...
Ah ha ha ha ha....
Ah ha ha ha ha....
Good one Sylvia...you go girlfriend!
Ah ha ha ha ha....
Good one Sylvia...you go girlfriend!
fyrfytr
Well-known member
And I have taken this site so serious all these months.
Dave
___________________________________
Surgery: 4/21/03
Aortic Aneurysm Repair
AVR, with a St. Jude Mechanical
Heart Center of the Rockies
Dave
___________________________________
Surgery: 4/21/03
Aortic Aneurysm Repair
AVR, with a St. Jude Mechanical
Heart Center of the Rockies
hensylee
Well-known member
RCB - If we didn't love you guys, we wouldn't tease you guys. Guys get loved a whole bunch, don't y'all?
P.S. I love guys so much, I am coming back as one.
P.S. I love guys so much, I am coming back as one.
L
LoraW30
Found this
Found this
and thought it appropriate....
Translations of the Female Language
Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use Fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
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Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing: This means something, and you should be on your toes.
Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last Five Minutes and end with the word Fine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing and will end with the word Fine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or Do what you want, because I don't care. You will get a raised eyebrow Go ahead in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing and Fine and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes when she cools off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. Soft Sighs are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says Oh before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is Fine when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. Oh, as the lead to a sentence, usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows Go ahead followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.
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That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. That's Okay means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. That's Okay is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow Go ahead. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please Do: This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful, and you shouldn't get a That's Okay.
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Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thanks a lot": This is much different from Thanks. A woman will say, Thanks a lot when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the Loud Sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.
Found this
and thought it appropriate....
Translations of the Female Language
Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use Fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing: This means something, and you should be on your toes.
Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last Five Minutes and end with the word Fine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing and will end with the word Fine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or Do what you want, because I don't care. You will get a raised eyebrow Go ahead in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing and Fine and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes when she cools off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. Soft Sighs are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says Oh before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is Fine when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. Oh, as the lead to a sentence, usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows Go ahead followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. That's Okay means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. That's Okay is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow Go ahead. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please Do: This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful, and you shouldn't get a That's Okay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thanks a lot": This is much different from Thanks. A woman will say, Thanks a lot when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the Loud Sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.
L
LoraW30
Two of those entries got cut off. One was < Loud sigh> and the other was < Soft sigh>
Heck, I must be from another planet. I thought the first joke was at the expense of the woman. I didn't think it was sexist (sexist is a double edged sword that can refer to either gender). Just thought it was an interesting generalization. Must be my sense of humor....then, again, it could have something to do with people from K-Pax. :>)
dniK sdrager,
ehcnalB
dniK sdrager,
ehcnalB
Ross
Well-known member
Re: As I said the first time
Re: As I said the first time
Men, to the livingroom so we can watch football, scratch, and grunt amongst ourselves once more.
Re: As I said the first time
We men are never wrong and we'll never admit we are either, so take that you shewomen man haters club people.RCB said:
Men, to the livingroom so we can watch football, scratch, and grunt amongst ourselves once more.
hensylee
Well-known member
Uh oh, I forgot about the scratching and grunting - maybe I won't come back as a guy after all.
L
Les
Always accept the fact that the woman will have the last word in an argument. Anything said after that is the beginning of a new argument.
__________________
Les AVR '93 / '95
For my protection.....credit Ann Landers column February 23, 2001
__________________
Les AVR '93 / '95
For my protection.....credit Ann Landers column February 23, 2001
Hubby always says
Hubby always says
And this is after 37 years of being married to me (Sept. 16th).........WHATEVER (when I want to do something and he doesn't)...and..If that's what will please you..to which I always say..that's what would please me What a wonderful guy.. Bonnie
Hubby always says
And this is after 37 years of being married to me
(Sept. 16th).........WHATEVER (when I want to do something and he doesn't)...and..If that's what will please you..to which I always say..that's what would please me What a wonderful guy.. Bonnie
C
ccrawford
Hey Barrett - I disagree. I get the last word in all the time - "Yes dear ! "
Aunt Granny
Well-known member
In the Woods Alone
In the Woods Alone
I am afraid I am with Johnny's wife - Why is he there without her in the first place.
And Barrett as for you - THATS JUST WRONG!!!!
In the Woods Alone
I am afraid I am with Johnny's wife - Why is he there without her in the first place.
And Barrett as for you - THATS JUST WRONG!!!!
wweir
Well-known member
Blonde Joke;
Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. They see a road sign that says
Disneyland left
They turned around and went home.
Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. They see a road sign that says
Disneyland left
They turned around and went home.
M
mamsram
I want all the women to know I HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG!
oh, wait---- I was wrong once (it was when I thought I was wrong, but I wasn't, I was right )
oh, wait---- I was wrong once (it was when I thought I was wrong, but I wasn't, I was right )
N
nadi
My father saying was "I may not always be right but I am never wrong".
hi nadine!
did we grow up with the same father?????
did we grow up with the same father?????
