First doubts today

[cldlhd]

Hectic: I am feeling all of the same things you are feeling.

Sunday afternoon, I was seeing flashes in my left eye that were totally obstructing my vision. Called the surgeon. PA told me to immediately go to the emergency room, because, being less than two-weeks post-surgery, I may have been having a stroke. Went to ER, was admitted to the hospital for two days, just got out this morning, so that they could determine whether or not I was having a stroke. No stroke, thankfully. Nevertheless, these are some of the fears we face as cardiac patients. I am just thankful that the technology exists to fix us and, after we recover, that we will feel and be better than we were before. A pill a day is not that big of a deal in the grand scope of things. Our lives are different, no doubt, but that doesn't mean that they have to be any less satisfying. I just cannot wait to heal in order to start living life again.

You could have had what is referred to as migraine aura . I used to get them a couple times a year with a subsequent migraine. Now post surgery I get the aura once or twice a week but without the migraine. Apparently it can be a result of the heart and lung machine.

 

[MethodAir]

Thanks guys, you're right I need to be patient! It's far too soon to get caught up in feeling crappy like this. I've got too much progress yet to make. Working at it as much as I can, walking helps but to Florida sun is sweltering this time of year so it's difficult just to go outside. Baby step!

Do you have access to a treadmill? I picked up a used Nordic Track for like $80 when I got out of hospital. Heart rate monitor is also good to have.

 

[pellicle]

hey Hectic, I see that you're pepping up. That's good. While you're hanging around with little to do maybe watch this movie. I know its a corny movie, but this spells out an old Japanese code and a worthwhile ethic

[ link ]


it may also help.

 

[almost_hectic]

hey Hectic, I see that you're pepping up. That's good. While you're hanging around with little to do maybe watch this movie. I know its a corny movie, but this spells out an old Japanese code and a worthwhile ethic

[ link ]


it may also help.

Okay, as bad as things may seem. They're gonna have to get far worse before I agree to watch a Tom Cruise movie LOL!

 

[chickadee]

I hope you are feeling better. I am also young and active- 43, two kids. I do lots of hiking and biking- typically. I just had my 3rd open heart June 5th. I have definitely felt down too. It seems unfair. But as my cardiologist told me when I complained when I was 14- "life isn't fair". You will get through this and maybe even be able to look back realize how much this event has forced to you grow as a person. I have been down and angry my share too this past 11 weeks. But I know it will get better. I hope you start to feel better soon too.

 

[yotphix]

whoops double post.

 

[yotphix]

I'm almost exactly one year older than you, and I had my surgery even younger. I as 39. Since then, I've been through the Panama Canal twice, been married four times on three continents (to the same girl!), seen Vietnam, Laos, Taiwan, Columbia, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, England, Italy, Slovenia, and Croatia, (plus been back to another half dozen countries multiple visits), run, skated, sailed, jet-skied, bicycled, swam, camped, rode motorcycles and more I can't even think of. I've spent countless hours, with friends and family through good times and bad. Even better, my wife and I made two lovely little kids who make every day a challenge and a treasure. I go to work each day and solve strange and interesting problems from morning till night, and I spend weekends strolling through city streets, or country roads.
I never have to explain or excuse anything. I don't have spontaneous uncontrolled bleeds, my INR has been stable for years, the tick, which was deafening at first (slight exaggeration, but you could really hear it) is super faint now, and no one but me ever hear's it.
The days of 'just living' were over long before the surgery, even before the diagnosis, but there's NOTHING to stop you from REALLY LIVING. I lived a good life up until the surgery, but the second chance it offered inspired me to turn it up a notch and seize the day, live in the moment or whatever cliche you prefer to use. You're feeling low right now, but come a few weeks from now, you'll be starting to feel more like yourself, and inside of a year, you'll be top notch. Be conscientious about exercise and diet, do your cardiac rehab reasonably faithfully, and you'll kick this thing's butt, and be out tearing it up before you have a chance to get really old! (Which is, I don't know, maybe 100?)
Milestones for me post surgery were:
Laying a laminate floor at 6 weeks (bad idea, skip that one)
Bicycling vigorously at 8 weeks
6 Country European trip and wedding at 6 months (good idea, highly recommended)
Back to work at 7 months
Back riding fast motorcycles at 8 months
Graduating from rehab (which I was doing via email, since I had moved countries by then) at 1 year.
You'll have your own, which will be important to you, and they'll start to add up fast!
Hang in, it just keeps getting better.

 

[almost_hectic]

Wow, you guys are amazing. I officially now feel pretty insignificant. Not for having had my moment. But for feeling it appropriate to come in here and talk about it among you fine folks. Thank you all for the words of encouragement. As I described in my post about DGAF I'm assuming my thinking is a bit clouded by so many meds and I've got to push through some of these feelings as they come over me, as they aren't genuine. Nevertheless you people are inspiring to said the least!!

 

[pellicle]

Hi

.. I officially now feel pretty insignificant. Not for having had my moment. But for feeling it appropriate to come in here and talk about it among you fine folks.

No, you shouldn't feel bad about coming here and chatting. Its by precisely that which we get our perspectives.

I was also going to add that part of this process is akin to grieving. You are losing something and understanding that and its magnitude is an important part.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement.

Your're welcome

 

[knotguilty]

Know that it is normal to have some depression after surgery. And also know that you will continue to get better. It is overwhelming at times and you did go through one heck of a surgery. But you made it and there are more things for you in life to look forward to now.

 

[Tank]

Hectic I am so envious that you live in Florida, especially in the winter. Last week in my area where I live the temp got up to 107 and 3 days later it was down to 34 degrees. My hospital is 4 hours away or 45 mins and 50 thousand dollars by helicopter. If at all possible do your walking early in the morning while it is cooler and when it gets hot walk around in the house abit. One day last week it was blowing 40-50 plus, raining sideways at times and the wife said lets go to the sporting goods store and look around, walk a little and just get out of the house. She knows my weak spot is sporting goods and target shooting when able. I used to live to hunt, fish and be in the outdoors but have since lost interest due to back pain and such, still holding hope that it may get better sooner than later. Hectic, it sounds like you are coming around, one of the main things that I have found is the forum and small talk on the VR website has helped me a bunch. Thanx, Tank.

 

[cldlhd]

Ya indoor walking still counts. I had my surgery in the beginning of February this yr and living in the suburbs of Philly it wasn't always good walking conditions outside so we went to the local mall. I was fortunate as I had my wife to drive me there and it's only about 5 miles away. Its also good to get out of the house and see people, some of them anyway...,

 

[almost_hectic]

Thanks Tank, yes the past few days things have improved quite a bit. Looked back on my notepad of blood pressure readings and pulse rates and could see the trends of numbers improving. Meds are all the same , which kinda stinks but I'm tolerating them better as my health improves. Where you live sounds like quite an adventure! Meanwhile Florida remains Africa hot this time of year and there's now tropical storms headed our way for probably the remainder of the weekend so I'll be doing lots of walking around the house. Don't mind but it is harder to elevate my pulse as compared to outside. Maybe I try the mall thing like you had and cldlhd suggest if thing warrant this weekend.