So, I call an aquaintance of mine that I know has had valve surgery to ask her about coumadin, she was very positive, told me about her surgery that was bump free and how well I will recover and how much better I will feel, and what do I do, burst into tears! I couldn't believe it, I'm really not a crier, but I just couldn't stop. I felt like an idiot! Maybe because the big day is two weeks from today and now it seems so real. Some moments I feel confident and sure and others I just don't know.... it's scary stuff! Thanks for listening!
Emotional
- Thread starter Kristen
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Boston Tiger
Well-known member
The mood swings are one of the reasons we agree that the waiting is the worst part of the surgery. Hopefully, the calm will descend upon you as you head down into Boston on the day of the surgery. I barely remember what the roads were like when a friend drove my wife and I in two years ago, or even what I did at work the day before my surgery.
Dear Kristen,
Big hugs!
This *stuff* is scary...we all went through it and here we are!
Keep focussing on how much better you shall feel afterwards and look forward to your new you!. You shall wish you had the surgery earlier and you will feel sorry for all the time you wasted in fears. I regretted all the time and energy I wasted in fears and with tears!
You shall be fine. Take deep breaths and smell the roses.
Big hugs!
This *stuff* is scary...we all went through it and here we are!
Keep focussing on how much better you shall feel afterwards and look forward to your new you!. You shall wish you had the surgery earlier and you will feel sorry for all the time you wasted in fears. I regretted all the time and energy I wasted in fears and with tears!
You shall be fine. Take deep breaths and smell the roses.
TheGymGuy
Well-known member
Sometimes you just need to let it out. Being emotional before and even after surgery is perfectly normal. Little things will set you off, and these 2 weeks will be a little weird. Best thing is to go with the flow, take some time to kick back with the family and go see some movies, eat some good food and hang out with friends. Being emotional is ok.
SusQ
Well-known member
Though I had moments before (and I never knew when a moment would strike), I am way more emotional now that hubby's surgery is over.
The three days up to and including the day of were difficult, but I expected that. Now...now I'm wondering why I'm suddenly a big sap.
The three days up to and including the day of were difficult, but I expected that. Now...now I'm wondering why I'm suddenly a big sap.
Les Hazelton
Member
Dear "not an idiot",
For myself, I would (did) rejoice after a good cry knowing it was a beneficial coping tool. Better than a pill. Emotional is GOOD. There are some things we can't do very well with our rational "adult" self. We have built-in mechanisms for this sort of stress. Maybe your reaction was partly because the friend was so positive that things will be OK and the REASSURANCE released the flood. Maybe learning to cry will be one of the gifts of this experience for you. I had many friends to help process my surgery. (I am on coumadin, I was bump-free, I feel very well, and I used to be a very fearful person) One piece of advice that I loved was "let the experience change you!" Instead of saying "I'm going to bulldoze my way through this experience", a bit of surrender can be a good thing.
I wish you the very best and also encourage you to be kind to yourself and also accept the help of friends. It takes a little getting used to... to accept help with grace.
Fondly, Les
For myself, I would (did) rejoice after a good cry knowing it was a beneficial coping tool. Better than a pill. Emotional is GOOD. There are some things we can't do very well with our rational "adult" self. We have built-in mechanisms for this sort of stress. Maybe your reaction was partly because the friend was so positive that things will be OK and the REASSURANCE released the flood. Maybe learning to cry will be one of the gifts of this experience for you. I had many friends to help process my surgery. (I am on coumadin, I was bump-free, I feel very well, and I used to be a very fearful person) One piece of advice that I loved was "let the experience change you!" Instead of saying "I'm going to bulldoze my way through this experience", a bit of surrender can be a good thing.
I wish you the very best and also encourage you to be kind to yourself and also accept the help of friends. It takes a little getting used to... to accept help with grace.
Fondly, Les
Kristen, everyone here has been in your shoes. For most of us, heart surgery is very big thing. The anxiety we build up causes our emotions to be more volitile. A sad song or movie or a very joyful event easily sent me into tears. These are all experessions of the vulnerability we suddenly feel. A lady put cheese on my sandwich and for a moment I wanted to shout at her "NO CHEESE!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU, NO CHEESE!!!!". This is all very normal.
In the quiet hours you will have during recovery, as you start coming down off the emotional roller coaster, you may well find that the vulnerability that left you feeling so emotionally fragile can have unanticipated results. These experiences that expose our fragility, that force us to face our personal mortality often leave us feeling greater compassion for others around us. If you like quotes, and I do, you can't do better than Aeschylus who wrote:
"God, whose law it is
that those who learn must suffer
And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget,
falls drop by drop upon the heart,
And in our own despite, against our wills
Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."
Larry
In the quiet hours you will have during recovery, as you start coming down off the emotional roller coaster, you may well find that the vulnerability that left you feeling so emotionally fragile can have unanticipated results. These experiences that expose our fragility, that force us to face our personal mortality often leave us feeling greater compassion for others around us. If you like quotes, and I do, you can't do better than Aeschylus who wrote:
"God, whose law it is
that those who learn must suffer
And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget,
falls drop by drop upon the heart,
And in our own despite, against our wills
Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."
Larry
Kristen,
As everyone has said "crying or getting emotional" is a normal part of this whole process. Your rational brain says "sure, piece of cake, I know what is gonna take place and I can do it". Then the emotional part of your brain says 'What???? they are gonna cut me where and do what to my heart". The waiting is the worst. Try and take TheGymGuy's advice. Kick back with friends and family and enjoy those moments. Start a compelling book, keep your mind and hands busy. Soon the time will have passed and you will be over that mountain and we will all be right here cheering you on.
As everyone has said "crying or getting emotional" is a normal part of this whole process. Your rational brain says "sure, piece of cake, I know what is gonna take place and I can do it". Then the emotional part of your brain says 'What???? they are gonna cut me where and do what to my heart". The waiting is the worst. Try and take TheGymGuy's advice. Kick back with friends and family and enjoy those moments. Start a compelling book, keep your mind and hands busy. Soon the time will have passed and you will be over that mountain and we will all be right here cheering you on.
