Does a Day Go By You Don't Remember?

[Jkm7]

Thanks, everyone.
Most of the time when I think about it, I think more in terms of the changes in my life and my awareness of diet, excercise etc Just generally healthy living. I think of it when we travel as I don't like my husband handling all the luggage and I don't lift any. (Other heart issues in addition to my valve.)

I must admit I do relive portions of the hospital experiences from time to time. I get a flash back from some unexpected source and it triggers a memory. I roll with it and let it happen.

Like everyone else, I'm just grateful these surgeries were available to me and I survived both intact and able to live a full, useful, definitely lengthened life.

 

[Fran]

I always remember...

I always remember...

Like Freddie says, one of the kids always loves to say, "I can hear you, Mom," about the valve. Well, let's hope so!

When I see someone struggling to walk, or someone in a wheelchair, I remember my symptoms pre-op and what could've happened to me post-op with the clots I've had. Relief and chagrin and "that could [still] be me" feelings wash over you. I'll be honest, when people expected me to do and do and do for them pre-op and post-op and I was trying to tell them what was going on (you know, the TAKERS in life!) and they were oblivious, that really had a way of ticking me off but they're ignorant.

Many things bring it to mind - dates, comments from others, something I haven't tried to do since long before the surgery and had to stop doing, and now almost don't even notice doing it - working down in our woods, mowing, etc.

I wear my scar with pride. I've got the "zipper" that I display in my Patagonia jog bras in the summer as I plant herbs or pull weeds, I've got TWO scars on inner arm now, one from the clot and one from the bypass around the scar tissue, and this long rail-road track scar on inner thigh where they harvested vein for arm bypass. Yeah, I'm winnin' all kinds of beauty contests! But the scars are part of my journey, when people notice them (I do wear clothing out in public over the jog bra, lol!) sometimes they will share a story of their own or a loved one's about similar surgery.

We survived the unthinkable. Many hugs to fellow heart folks here. xoxoxoxo

 

[RobNDenver]

I guess I feel like AVR is a part of me now and I don't conciously think about it, unless something calls my attention to it. My energy level is higher, and that makes me think about the surgery. . . I have fingernails and toenails that have actually grown after my surgery, instead of splitting off so that reminds me in a zen kind of way.

Naturally I am reminded, when I bend over to pick something up and feel a little funny . . . positional changes cause me to remember the surgery . . .

I am just grateful, when I think about what the alternatives could have been.

 

[nancym]

I think about my surgery (AVR and aortic root replacement 11/11/08) every day, and not necessarily in a negative manner. But I still find the whole experience surreal and re-live a lot of it in my mind. And I also find that I want to talk about it all the time, but nobody wants to listen anymore. It seems like my friends and family have all but forgotten about it because my recovery has been so smooth and easy, but I don't like the fact that they don't seem to remember all that I went through before, during, and after. And it sort of pisses me off. Anybody else feel like this?

 

[Bridgette]

Nancy,

I don't talk about my op much anymore (2 years post op now) but I still think about it quite a bit.
I don't bring it up with my family, but sometimes the conversation might drift around to it and we remember certain things that happened and discuss them.
Not a lot though.

The other day though I suddenly thought about how much all of us heart valve patients had to face and go through, because in my opinion IT IS A BIG DEAL, and I said to my partner, "I am a hero for getting through that op and coming this far since" (finishing my degree, recovering to be fit and healthy again etc).
He looked a bit taken aback (LOL) but thought about it and said, "Yeah, you're right".
Sometimes our families forget and just need reminding, lol

Bridgette

 

[murielopal]

really you are very strong and i respect that, i had my second surgery two yrs ago, the first one i was six, but i feel anger, misunderstanding inside of me specially when i feel dizzy or tired for no reason at all

 

[murielopal]

yes brdgette you are right , it's been more than two yrs for me and really we try to recover and fight to regain a normal life back

 

[Freddie]

Sometimes our families forget and just need reminding, lol

Bridgette

I don't think our families forget; in my case, they don't want to be reminded.

 

[Superbob]

The fourth anniversary of my valve/root replacement is coming up just after Saint Valentine's Day and, yes, I think about it every day. Maybe if there were no vr.com, there would be some days I didn't think about it every day, but I check in here nearly every day, so I am reminded, and I think that's a good thing -- a very good thing -- because it reminds me how blessed I am, and how I am living extra years that I wouldn't have lived without the miraculous surgery -- seeing grandchildren born and grow, enjoying other blessings aplenty....So I am happy I think about it every single day.

 

[VikiVix]

Days go by

Days go by

This is absolutely the best post I've read recently and totally matches my beliefs and feelings!!
God Bless you and all of us!! And I say "Amen" and Hallelujah!!
Viki

It is hard to forget and we (I) may never forget, but we have to do our best to live at best we can...not to feel sorry nor any sorrow for what we have gone through...the contrary, to be grateful that medicine and God gave us another chance to stay around. Upon coming home, when my sister - out of good intention - said to me "soon you shall be normal again and forget all this", I got so upset and so hurt and my answer was: "I shall never be normal again, how can I be normal with non-normal valves?!" But I do not look at it the same way now after three months. I see the positive side in anything negative. So, I remember it everytime I look in the mirror, but I then remind myself I am healthier and better and still around those who love me...my heart was "broken" to save my life and to spare m family's hearts from being broken if such surgeries did not exist yet.

With prayers and a new hope with every new sunshine

 

[olefin]

Sometimes I still think about the worse 20 days in my life time but I don't dwell on it. My wife remembers it better than I for she was there around the clock. Most of those days I don't fully remember.

The surgery didn't change or improve my lifestyle for I was healthy before surgery. But without a new valve my health would have soon failed.

I thank God for every day and my clicking valve.

 

[starrman]

The constant clicking, pill popping and blood tests makes it impossible to forget. However, I am very thankful that it was ultimately diagnosed and replaced.

 

[hensylee]

it becomes a part of us that is constant. I doubt any of us dwell on it, but when anything is not just right in our bodies, the first thing comes to mind is guess what???

 

[abbanabba]

I guess it's like thinking about your gender... it's something you're always going to be aware of, but not necessarily intently focusing on.

 

[vprnet]

I hope a day does not go by that I will forget my OHS because it reminds more than anything else of the gift I was given on that day, the gift of life. Other than birth, I guess facing ones own mortaltiy will do that.

BAVR with 27mm ON-X with conduit NYP Weill Cornell Dec 19, 2008

 

[Clicker]

I am 8 mos. out and still think about it every day. I feel lucky and somewhat apprehensive at the same time. Lucky because I am here and moving forward without restrictions, raising a family, working, playing, etc... Apprehensive because my valve issues are believed to be the result of damage caused by cancer treatment over 20 years ago. I have to wonder what other afflictions might result from that treatment.

In any event, I have come to love the clicking noise from my mechanical AV. It's the sound of 'life.'

 

[kpearse]

I think about it everyday when I go for my walk, not that I feel sorry or anything, Just glad to be still alive and well!

 

[axeldog]

I really couldn't believe it was happening. I went into the ER on 30 Dec 08 and had surgery on 31 Dec 08. I'm 48 years old, have a family history and thought since I ran and worked out that it would never happen to me. Once I accepted what was happening I figured each step of the process brought me closer to being normal again. Starting to feel that way after six weeks.

 

[DebbyA]

I think of it every day, but the context is changing. Today I ran up the stairs at home, then stopped and thought "Wow, when did I start doing that again?!!" (I'm 61.)

 

[TXGal]

It'll be 9 years in a few days since my valve was replaced. I still have a-fib occasionally and some chest pain, but other than that, I never think about it.
I guess when pregnancy is brought up, it's something I think about since because of my valve and coumadin I can't get pregnant.. but I was able to have a son through surrogacy, so I don't dwell on the subject like I used to. Definitely the first year was tough after my last surgery. I had 2 surgeries within 1 week, so I didn't bounce back like my first surgery when I was in high school.. I had to drop out of college for a semester until I had my strength back and finish rehab.. but after a year or so, it definitely got better.. today, I rarely ever think about the 14 days I spent in the hospital.. I look at life as feeling lucky that I'm here and was fortunate enough to have my problem fixed and hope that this valve lasts a lifetime..