Do you ever stop worrying?

[debster913]

My husband worried about me almost all the time after my surgery. I had a few minor "bumps in the road" post-op--needed an angioplasty and recently, an ablation. My husband freaked out about what seemed to me to be minor things. We heart patients tend not to worry so much since we're the ones going through the problems, but it's the spouses/significant others who worry for us.

In my case, my husband's worry affected our marriage. Things are much better now that things have calmed down heart-wise for me and we have dealt with those issues... but, case in point, last Saturday I got really dizzy in the shower. I've been very stressed out lately, and my cardio changed my beta-blocker last week--two possible causes, plus my blood pressure tends to run low. I called out for my husband, he got me out and onto the bed so he could take my blood pressure (it was 88/50), and made me rest until I got my bearings. A couple years ago, he would have been calling my cardio in a panic. Now, he just makes sure I'm OK.


Anyway, I don't think you'll ever stop worrying about your husband...but the worry will subside in time.

 

[westie]

everyday

everyday

.
i do not exactly worry, but i do think about my "former" heart problems everyday, but, i am always 1000% positive with my wife and as far as i can work out, she feels i am "the 6 million dollar man".

but i can tell you guys something, i am scared witless at the prospect of a second open heart surgery; that really would rip me up.

so i suppose i keep up a super confident front to keep my wife, employees and friends happy; or at least to shut them up!

but at the back of my mind i am not so sure everything will always be so rosie.

 

[thenewmarket]

My husband is one year eight months out from surgery and I am still very aware of what he is doing while he is at home. If he works out and it takes longer than normal......I go check on him. I wouldn't label myself as worrying about him, I just know the reality of how short life really can be. We are soooo blessed and I want to assist in keeping him around for a long, long time. My nickname since surgery is "Mother Hover". I am not obnoxious about it.....I'm just AWARE.

We all adjust to a "new normal" after OHS!

 

[sue943]

I had a bit of an eye-opener this week, almost four years post surgery.

It has never occurred to me that anyone might be worried about me, although my son (mentally ill I hasten to add) did ask me a couple of months post surgery when I was likely to die and when I said hopefully not until I was in my eighties replied that it was a pity as he could do with some money now!

I digress, this past week and a half I have had an internet friend staying with me, this woman is 47 and knows my medical history and won't let me lift anything! This morning I think I shocked her when I went into the garden and mowed the lawn. I don't think of myself as being any less able to do what I did before it all happened, ok I cannot walk far but I always hated walking so no loss to me, and yes I tire after a while but I can still do these things, I can use a lawnmower, I can carry shopping.

I am just not aware that anyone is concerned about me not being 'whole', my daughter certainly expects me to function as normal, mind you her husband is a doctor so she will be more aware, she certainly doesn't 'mollycoddle' me.

 

[ajay_22_86]

I burp and fart without said products ... I guess I'm ok .... worry fades with time .....

Pfft, I can fart on command!

On the issue of this thread, I have to say I don't know. But judging from everyone's responses it sounds pretty normal and something that will gradually ease away

 

[zipper2]

Corrine its natural to worry,my 1st surgery 17 years ago i had was more
worry for my hubby,the 2nd in jan easier as technology has become better
now even with my few bumps in the road,hubbys better this time even so.
but i feel it gets better for him but never leaves his mind entirely.
Glad to read your posts and all is well with you both.

zipper2 (DEB)

 

[corrineinwa]

Again - thank you to everyone.

Peter will be 6 weeks out this coming Wednesday - where has the time gone!

Although he still has a lifting restriction, he's a happy chap now that he can use his new battery operated weed whacker and mini chainsaw. They both only weigh 6lb so he's been tidying up around the place (we're surrounded by forest).

He hates doing the walking thing - keeps mouthing off about feeling like a hamster when I tell him it's time to get on the treadmill! lol - But he does it anyway and is doing a mile +.

Thankfully, we're having a dry, sunny spell up here in the PNW so he's back to pottering around outside most of the day.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Puttering is GOOD, psychologically and for maintaining mobility / flexibility.

For Cardiovascular Fitness, Walking, either on a treadmill or outdoors at a *sustained recommended heartrate* is essential. As I have finally had to admit, Dog Walks / 'puttering' don't count for much when it comes to cardiovascular fitness. TV, Radio, CD's, etc. take some of the tedium / boredom out of prolonged walking exercises.

The Maximum Recommended Heart Rate is 220-AGE.

Typically, Cardiovascular Fitness is recommended at 80 to 90% of Max. for 20 to 40 minutes 3 to 5 times per week.

For Weight Loss/control, the recommended range is 60 to 80% of Max. for 20 to 40 minutes 3 to 5 times per week.

Be Sure to ask his Cardiologist (and maybe surgeon still) for guidelines on recommended Heart Rate. They may not want him in the upper range just yet. Build up Slowly!

Many Hospitals have Nurse supervised Cardiac Rehabilitation Programs which show patients how to 'stretch' before and after exercise, plus 60 minutes of exercise 3 times per week on various machines including treat mills, bicycles, "arm-cycles" (resemble a tricycle wheel for the arms/shoulders), and rowing machines. The patients wear heart monitors and are instructed NOT to exceed predetermined maximums based on their recovery etc.

If you don't have easy access to such a facility, it might be worthwhile for you and Peter to visit one, see what they do, get copies of their recommended stretches and exercises, and then do them at home (under *your* watchful eye... I knew you would like that part

From my perspective, it sounds like Peter is doing GREAT, but may still need you to 'reign him in' for a while. I KNOW how frustrating it is to want to do more than we should as we begin to feel better! Our bodies usually have a way of reminding us of our frailties :-(

Keep up the Good Work !

'AL Capshaw'

 

[corrineinwa]

Thank again Al.

We live too far out for Cardiac Rehab unfortunately but I think I'll take your advice and we'll pay one a visit to see what their programme is.

I've aready got him doing some stretching stuff - I'm into yoga and now that he's lost 17lb (mostly off his gut), he's will to join in and he's said it's improved his mobility somewhat.

I don't know what his heart rate is during his treadmill sessions. I know that's it's enough to make him get his breathing going and he's doing 2 x 15 mins a day. His goal is to do that in one go rather than the two but he has some arthritis in his knees.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

You can buy a Chest Strap Heart Rate Monitor at most Sporting Goods Stores (even Walmart's sports department) at reasonable rates. POLAR is one manufacturer. I forgot the others.

I think there are some new monitors that can be worn on the wrist (only) but have not seen them.

A stethoscope and watch with a second hand (or second readout) is another easy way to count heartrate (and listen to/for arrhythmias).

Peter may want to try out an "Elliptical" walker which is supposed to be easier on the knees. I found it Very 'intense' on the upper thighs so it takes some SLOW conditioning to be able to reach even 20 minutes. I see young women going forever on these machines.

'AL'

 

[corrineinwa]

Check on the heart rate monitor Al. My treadmill came with a wireless chest strap contraption but as I use it for running, I just never bothered hooking it up.

I have Tony Little's Gazelle (don't you just love Walmart!): http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=2216752

The old guy has started using it for short spells but it does put some pressure on his arm/chest muscles so he's taking it gently. But with that and the treadmill, I don't really have the room for much else (although I've been telling him for ages that he really does need a Bowflex Home Gym )

 

[AnnaHM]

Perspective is the name of the game. If you have people fussing around you, you invariable feel a sicker than you are and a bit of a victim.

I had a lift home from hospital on 12th March (6 hour journey) was dropped off at my house and have managed on my own ever since. Yes I was weak and in pain but that would have been the same whether or not I had company. And yes it was harder than if I had had someone to cook and look after me but I think it made me determined to get better as quickly as possible. Funnily enough when I was a child no one in my family fussed me or took any notice of my heart problems so neither did I, it was just part of my life. There were no heart ops in 1945 then was really a case of sink or swim!

It still is. as my long term partner left me last year because he thought I would be a burden if I had a heart op. He was scared to death of the whole thing.

To be honest I worry more about my son who is surfing in Australia and my nightmares are all to do with shark attacks not heart attacks......ha ha. As long as my gorgeous boy stays in one piece I can cope with anything. Am now walking 6-7 miles a day and the op seems such a long time ago.

 

[PairoDocs]

From Pairodocs-Laura

From Pairodocs-Laura

I still worry about Chris from time to time; I don't think that will go away completely, but it sure is a lot less than it was. We all still rush out when the medical helicopter flies over (or any helicopter, for that matter). I still check his breathing on occasion. I ask him to avoid putting undo stress on his chest. He lugs about 130 lbs of kids up and down the stairs and has joined a Tae Kwon Do class, so he is actually better than normal. As the people on this site will tell you, I was pretty neurotic when he came home.
The hospital cardiac unit emphasized allowing the patient some breathing space, and warned that over-protectiveness can be a problem. Their take was that neither the patient nor the caretaker benefits from constant hovering; as a matter of fact, these sorts of behaviors can delay healing by causing real mental and physical exhaustion. By the same token, the patient is asked to promise to be forthcoming if there is a problem, such as pain or shortness of breath. Playing twenty questions every hour is not the way to go, either. Prior to Chris' OHS, he did not always give me the complete story because he didn't want to go to the doctor, counselor, ER, etc. Those sorts of behaviors have to stop if the patient wants people to stop (s)mothering him or her.
Chris allows me to listen to his heart if I need to, just to be sure he is OK. We are still dealing with the OHS fallout, 1&1/2 years after it occurred, but things improve every day.