denial

[Ron K]

Extended family

Extended family

Hi Nancy,

We all hope your husband will come around and give you the kind of support that you want and deserve. If not, it sounds like you can manage without him if you have to.

We'll be hear to help in any way that we can. You're part of our extended family now and we won't let you down.

Hang in there and do what you have to do for yourself and for the sake of all who care about you.

Ron K.

 

[Peachy]

Hi Nancy

Sorry your husband is not being supportive at this time. It's a great help if your other half is behind you all the way. Can you not persuade him to come to all your appointments at the hospital etc. My partner has been great. He probably knows as much about my condition as I do. We researched the various types of heart valve etc together. He insisted on coming to all my appointments, pre-surgery tests etc. He was there when I came round in intensive care after my surgery. It really does help you to come to terms with things and helps you to recover quicker if your partner is there for you. I'm now 3 months post op and am feeling great. I haven't had any bouts of depression and I think this is because he has always been there for me. He is pleased now that I have more energy than before and will soon be able to do my hillwalking etc again. I have even bought a bike and we are going to go cycling together. Remember Nancy that we are always here for you.

 

[Mara]

NancyMVP-

You have gotten some great advice.
I don't think there is anything I can add. My husband was great when I had my surgery....and we had only been married 5 days! (how's that for planning!?)

My husband is all for me going to the doctor if I have one little sniffle, on the other hand he won't go unless his arm is cut off, and only then to get the bleeding stopped! Some guys are just afraid of doctor's and don't like to think about it. You know they have to act all macho.

I bet when the time comes, you're husband will be fine. You said he was there for you when you were hospitalized before.

Good Luck!
-Mara

 

[hensylee]

Dear Nancy - if your husband is not supportive now, can almost guarantee he will be after the surgery. It is very important to the patient for support from the person closest to you, but if he thinks it's like getting your tonsils out, he is not aware of what you are about to go through and he is in for a great shock. Heart surgery is always MAJOR SURGERY and major surgery is a serious and life threatening situation. He will know this as he sees you just after your surgery when he is allowed to see you. So you just hold your head up high and get on with it for now. The support you can use is right here and you have many, many hands touching yours to help you through. So don't hesitate to come on in and let us help as much as possible. God bless