Day 56. . . tick, tick, tick

[Blanche]

Medtronic:
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, yet good manners dictate that there are times when one should keep his opinion to himself. A good rule of thumb is, Do no harm. As a Buddhist, I would expect more from you. Do you really believe that anyone here on this SUPPORT board found your caustic remark helpful?
Shame on you.
Blanche

 

[Nancy]

I love this place. I put my easy shoes on, sometimes my jammies (at night) and I feel right at home with people who understand where I'm coming from. It's comfortable and it helps me tremendously. That's what makes it so great. It's just like home.

It's serious, it's poignant, it's very informative. it helps many, many over the rough spots, and there's also some fun and frivolity.

Like everyone else here, there are no people we know who have had such medical problems. Our daughters understand, but the rest of the family---forget about it. Some of them don't even remember if Joe had heart surgery or not. So, no help there!

This is my place for comfort and support, and it's been wonderful.

So keep coming on in ya'll. You'll be very welcome and you'll get your warm fuzzies for the day.

 

[LUVMyBirman]

With the exception of my Mother, Sister and best girlfriend....there is nobody in the wolrd I could say the following to with understanding in return. Sometimes...maybe even they could not understand.

How do you deal with a "friend" when the subject of illness, any illness comes up......magically such gets avoided? Does this mean this person is not the friend they seem to be?

Your correct Nancy, nobody understands. My husband and I both know what it's like to have a serious illness. Honest to goodness there are a few people "friends" that are afraid to continue relationships with us. Maybe they think they are going to catch something, LOL.

Wish for one second they could live in our shoes. Maybe they would be humbled and the shallowness would diminish.

It's really ok for the family and friends that do understand. We learned though it all.... whom we will be around when we come around Not the way I wanted to weed though my life. But it works.

 

[bvdr]

I rather look at this site as part of moving on with my life. In order to live my life to the fullest I am going to have to make necessary additions and modifications and go through some not so pleasant things. Here is where I not only get some really helpful information but have met some wonderful people. I don't feel so isolated. I want to help others in the same way so I plan to stay around for a long time.

 

[Susan BAV]

Regarding the last few posts: I think part of the problem is that some friends don't know what to say. (Kind of like when someone close to you has died, sometimes friends don't know what to say, or they don't want to say the wrong thing, so they sometimes say nothing.) Also, some people have weaker empathy - if it isn't happening to them, then it isn't happening - or something like that. And I think that's often because maybe they haven't had a medical crisis to deal with, or a tragic loss...yet. I've also noticed that if you don't look sick, then some think you aren't sick. And a lot of heart patients don't look particularly ill. We keep our scars hidden and take our pills discreetly and quietly respect our limitations. Some other people might think we're whiners, even like the member earlier in this thread. But the mutual support helps us to be winners, don't you all think? Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. But we've really digressed from the original thread subject, haven't we. Today is Melissa's day and we all hope all goes well for her. ~Susan

 

[Peggy in Alaska]

Susan:

I agree with you, this is Melissa's day. I haven't been a member here for very long, but I find comments and information here very helpful. I woke up this morning thinking of Melissa and wondering how it is going in Cleveland, and thinking about what it will be like for me when I am scheduled. Now is that weird that I find myself thinking about her this morning when I got up and got ready for work? I don't think so. Maybe my thoughts of her reached her somehow. . .

Let's stick to the positive things and withdraw from the negative thoughts and comments one must run into in life. . .

 

[bvdr]

No Peggy, I don't think that is at all weird. When I know one of us is having surgery or even a particularily important appointment , then its as if I'm carrying that person around with me all day...in my thoughts and in my prayers. Then I wait with great anticipation to hear what happened. I think that is just what happens when one cares. And today, it is Melissa on my heart and mind. I hope everything is going very well.

 

[Birky]

friends and illness

friends and illness

I have found that you are correct in saying that if people have not had a serious illness in their lives it is difficult to understand. We had good friends who completely deserted us when my husband was going through a bad bout of depression. Could not understand mental illness. The only good thing to come out of our medical problems, we did find out who are true friends are. It seems that all who deserted us, have all gone through some medical crisis in the last 6 mos. I find it very helpful getting information from folks that have been through the same thing as myself from this site. All seem down to earth and caring people. I wish I would have found this site before I had the surgery. It seems that we all have to go through a big lifestyle change somewhere along the line. I feel that all things happen for a reason,

 

[Gisele]

Melissa,

Melissa,

Good luck. Not sure if your surgery was yesterday, if so I hope that all went well. I will be thinking of you as I guess I will be joining the ranks of those waiting for surgery. I will know a bit more tomorrow when I see my cardiologist.

I agree, I think this is a great place. I feel very comfortable and receive a lot of support from this group of friends.

Let us know how you made out when you return home. I hear they kick you out of the hospital really quick these days. I was in for 5 days for my heart cath 20 years ago and 2 weeks for my surgery. Caths are day care surgery now and I believe they show you the door after just a few days post op.

Good luck,

Gisele

 

[circulationguy]

I pray that you will not have to answer too many more times, "When is your surgery," and also that it will go smoothly--which it will. I'm new to this site and hope to contribute more as time allows. I opted for a homograf which so far has worked fine. Honestly, I have never felt better, however, I have really put on a lot of weight. I'm almost back to my weight before I became sick with endocarditis. After the hospital food and the celebrating, I guess I just couldn't get enough to eat. My appetite is ferocious. You are a great writer and I like to read your postings. It will be over soon, and don't worry, you'll feel like brand new! Richard