Trinityheart8891
Well-known member
hey guys,
well, as Cort says "Irony Rocks!"
I really am doing ok, dispite the way this sounds, I'm just a little frustrated, life is really strange sometimes!
tuesday morning my dad and I got in a fight.
As soon as I got up he threw several tasks on my plate (he was on his way out the door), one of which was bringing a bag of pellets. I tried to tell him how hard bringing pellets up is on me sometimes
(lately, I am stuck doing this all the time and its really frustrating to me that it seems like he is intentionally leaving this task for me to do)
he said something along the lines of "dont play this with me" (like I was just saying that for the fun of it, like I like "playing" the limitations) and finished by saying "what you really need to do is get off your arse more"
I told him that he cant judge the way I feel, or tell me what I can and cant do because he doesnt live in my skin, then proceeded to remind him that I am never home, and that he doesnt know what I do and dont do.
he then specified that he meant that I need to do more around the house.
I took this as insight, I understand that he's probably frustrated that I have a hard time doing these things. I also feel like he's in denial. this isnt the first time we've had a fight like this. last time we had one I talked to my mom (who used to act the same way, but she finally "got it" and is actually helping me now by checking in with me, and helping me make good decisions about my health and stuff) and she said he is expressing is frustrations. . . the things he is telling me that I need to do are the things that he wishes I would/could do. the last time we scuffled is because I was resting alot, and hanging out on my computer because I didnt feel that good. he told me that I'd feel better if I got off my arse and did more, and that all I ever do is hang out on the computer.
this screams frustration, loud and clear, this also screams denial. I am not sure what to do about this. I have been holding my ground on these things, but it obviously gets hard. I accidentally told him to "shut up" on tuesday morning. I didnt mean to, but it secretly felt good. I inevitably buckle, and just do whatever it was that we were fighting over (IE bringing up the pellets) because its easier than fighting over it. I know this isnt good for me, mentally or physically it makes me feel like my needs are unimportant, and when I am having a bad day, having to bring the pellets upstairs really takes a toll on me.
I am taking my mom's advice, and am trying to understand that he is just trying to express his frustrations, but it kinda feels like a one sided answer, it helps me understand, but it doesnt help with my needs. I understand that I cant change him, I have to change myself, and just deal with this until he learns to accept things. does anyone have any more insight on this, I dont really understand where he's coming from the way I need to, just like he doesnt understand what I have to deal with, and belittles it. I need some perspective, I cant understand this from a father's point of view, I guess thats something I'll never have.
does anyone here have any advice? insight?
I really appreciate the help
thanks in advance
well, as Cort says "Irony Rocks!"
I really am doing ok, dispite the way this sounds, I'm just a little frustrated, life is really strange sometimes!
tuesday morning my dad and I got in a fight.
As soon as I got up he threw several tasks on my plate (he was on his way out the door), one of which was bringing a bag of pellets. I tried to tell him how hard bringing pellets up is on me sometimes
(lately, I am stuck doing this all the time and its really frustrating to me that it seems like he is intentionally leaving this task for me to do)
he said something along the lines of "dont play this with me" (like I was just saying that for the fun of it, like I like "playing" the limitations) and finished by saying "what you really need to do is get off your arse more"
I told him that he cant judge the way I feel, or tell me what I can and cant do because he doesnt live in my skin, then proceeded to remind him that I am never home, and that he doesnt know what I do and dont do.
he then specified that he meant that I need to do more around the house.
I took this as insight, I understand that he's probably frustrated that I have a hard time doing these things. I also feel like he's in denial. this isnt the first time we've had a fight like this. last time we had one I talked to my mom (who used to act the same way, but she finally "got it" and is actually helping me now by checking in with me, and helping me make good decisions about my health and stuff) and she said he is expressing is frustrations. . . the things he is telling me that I need to do are the things that he wishes I would/could do. the last time we scuffled is because I was resting alot, and hanging out on my computer because I didnt feel that good. he told me that I'd feel better if I got off my arse and did more, and that all I ever do is hang out on the computer.
this screams frustration, loud and clear, this also screams denial. I am not sure what to do about this. I have been holding my ground on these things, but it obviously gets hard. I accidentally told him to "shut up" on tuesday morning. I didnt mean to, but it secretly felt good. I inevitably buckle, and just do whatever it was that we were fighting over (IE bringing up the pellets) because its easier than fighting over it. I know this isnt good for me, mentally or physically it makes me feel like my needs are unimportant, and when I am having a bad day, having to bring the pellets upstairs really takes a toll on me.
I am taking my mom's advice, and am trying to understand that he is just trying to express his frustrations, but it kinda feels like a one sided answer, it helps me understand, but it doesnt help with my needs. I understand that I cant change him, I have to change myself, and just deal with this until he learns to accept things. does anyone have any more insight on this, I dont really understand where he's coming from the way I need to, just like he doesnt understand what I have to deal with, and belittles it. I need some perspective, I cant understand this from a father's point of view, I guess thats something I'll never have.
does anyone here have any advice? insight?
I really appreciate the help
thanks in advance