Any breastfeeding moms of young kids prepping for OHS here?

[Enudely]

My pig valve that was put in 4 years ago (so that I could have kids ) has developed a stenosis and will need to be replaced soon. (don't know how soon). I have a 2 1/2 year old and am due to have #2 on Feb 13th. They don't know if I'll need the surgery while still pregnant eek, 3 days post partum, or if they'll be able to wait 2-9 months after the baby is born. I really want to breastfeed this baby!! I also want this to be as smooth as possible for my daughter, who has always slept with me or in her bed pushed right up against mine. She usually needs me several times a night still. I'm also worried about my dh, who is a 6th grade teacher and has his plate full, as you may imagine! Are there any other mamas on this forum who have gone through similar things? How best to prepare the little one and how best to take care of a newborn post-op?

 

[ponygirlmom]

My pig valve that was put in 4 years ago (so that I could have kids ) has developed a stenosis and will need to be replaced soon. (don't know how soon). I have a 2 1/2 year old and am due to have #2 on Feb 13th. They don't know if I'll need the surgery while still pregnant eek, 3 days post partum, or if they'll be able to wait 2-9 months after the baby is born. I really want to breastfeed this baby!! I also want this to be as smooth as possible for my daughter, who has always slept with me or in her bed pushed right up against mine. She usually needs me several times a night still. I'm also worried about my dh, who is a 6th grade teacher and has his plate full, as you may imagine! Are there any other mamas on this forum who have gone through similar things? How best to prepare the little one and how best to take care of a newborn post-op?

I think you should tell your surgeon: "I need to have my surgery next October. How can we make this happen?"

At the very least, this will force the doctors to make a damn decision about their recommendations!

Get in touch with La Leche League (http://www.llli.org) I guarantee that someone has had your experience, and that lots and lots and lots of members and leaders have had surgery of all types while nursing and co-sleeping with toddlers.

 

[Karlynn]

There are so many factors you are dealing with and so many unknowns about when the surgery will need to occur. I would caution against waiting past when your surgeon says is necessary. You don't want to have permanent damage done to your heart.

Some of it will depend on what kinds of medication you will need to be on after your surgery and how they would transfer to your baby.

If you can nurse safely for you and your child - go for it. If it means eliminating medication you need to function well, it's not worth it.

My pregnancy with my 2nd child (my daughter) was what started my valve symptoms. I ended up having to be on antiarrhythmics after her birth and it was not safe for me to not take them, or to take them and nurse her. So she was a bottle baby. Please don't buy into the hype that some over-zealous La Leche leagues will tell you about breast fed babies being smarter, more bonded etc. etc. I was guilt-tripped hugely by my local league. How you parent is the most important. Breast feeding is wonderful, but not the only path to a healthy happy child. My daughter skipped a grade in school, graduated in the top 3% of her high school class, and gradutated college Phi Beta Kappa and Suma Cum Laude. And we are as close as we can be. If I sound negative about the LL League it's because they just added pressure to a time that was very stressful to begin with and I didn't need someone telling me I was going to damage my child's welfare. It is just my experience and I understand not all leagues operate that way.

I do agree with Ponygirlmom in that your doctors need to give you a fairly definitive answer as to when they feel you need surgery. You need to be able to plan and fact-find in order to prepare.

 

[netmiff]

wow, you've got a plateful! It may sound cruel, but I feel the first thing you need to do is get your daughter to be more independent, into a room of her own, and that may help give you a bit more breathing space later on.

Yes, breastfeeding is the best way to go, but only IF you can go that route safely. As Karlynn has said, if you need to be on meds that don't mix with breast-feeding, don't beat yourself up. A happy healthy mom bottle-feeding mom beats a tired crabby sick breast-feeding mom in my books. Also, you don't want to endanger your new baby with any drugs that may be passed through the milk.

I can understand that they can't give you a definite date for the replacement, because the speed of deterioration will depend greatly on how stressed the valve is due to the pregnancy and delivery. They may not know how bad it is until after you have delivered, and maybe not even for a few wekks after that.

You're not due until February, that's two months, so you do have time to think about this. It probably seems overwhelming right now, but take it one day at a time and you'll all get through this no problem.

I am not a medical professional, but just trying to be logical . I am sure you will be OK, and that once you think things through, you will come to the right decision, at least the right decision for you !

 

[Bridgette]

I think you have been given some very good advice by Karlynn and Jeanette.

Remember this:if breastfeeding was "essential for bonding between mother and child" as some people claim, then all adoptions would fail!

The most important thing here is for you to be in as healthy a state as possible in order to take care of your two young children - so if that means not breastfeeding so that you can take vital medications, then don't worry about it. Bottle fed babies do equally as well, in spite of what some people would have you believe.

As Jeanette said, is it possible for you to gently start weaning your daughter off the habit of sleeping with you and wanting you in the night? Just thinking of your wellbeing here, because after your operation you will need plenty of rest, so waking up many times every night wouldn't help...

Anyway I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Bridgette

 

[Enudely]

I'm new to this forum and I thought I would get an e-mail notification that there was a response to my thread, but I didn't. I wouldn't have known you guys wrote if someone hadn't pm'ed me.

Saw the dr. today and he said breastfeeding should be no problem for the surgery!! Woo hoo!!
Also, I don't think this is the right time to try to get my daughter in her own room, there is too much going on right now that is stressful the last thing I need to do is add that to my little one's plate. I don't think kids are meant to sleep away from their parents at such a young age...

 

[catwoman]

I'm new to this forum and I thought I would get an e-mail notification that there was a response to my thread, but I didn't. I wouldn't have known you guys wrote if someone hadn't pm'ed me.

Many of us have computers on during the day and are frequently checking out new posts. You'll soon get the hang of it, too!
Actually, in the top bar -- where you see User CP -- you can click onto New Posts and run through new entries, rather than doing a hit-or-miss look.

I usually do the hit-or-miss thing.

 

[Mary]

I breastfed three of my kids and bottle fed the other two. Frankly, there is no way in the world I can imagine breastfeeding a baby after OHS. The thought of the discomfort makes me cringe. You will have an incision that must heal, along with chest tube holes, and I don't believe you can cradle the baby with ease while it nurses. In addition you'll be dealing with milk leakage, and its proximity to the incision. I'm a proponent of breast feeding, but I don't think it's do-able in this situation.