hensylee
Well-known member
With such a serious week, we need a bit of a breather so here's a little levity:
Subject: results from SAT test
The following questions and answers were taken from SAT tests given in
Springdale, Arkansas in 2000, to 16-year-old students! (Don't laugh too hard
- one of these may be the president someday Scary, isn't it!)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A:
Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the
Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there
is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important.
Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your
bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his
boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium,
the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and theity contains the five bowels,
A,E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent
contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean
section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A:
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you
be eight.
Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What's a Hindu? A: It lays eggs
Subject: results from SAT test
The following questions and answers were taken from SAT tests given in
Springdale, Arkansas in 2000, to 16-year-old students! (Don't laugh too hard
- one of these may be the president someday Scary, isn't it!)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A:
Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the
Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there
is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important.
Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your
bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his
boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium,
the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and theity contains the five bowels,
A,E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent
contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean
section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A:
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you
be eight.
Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What's a Hindu? A: It lays eggs
