There's so much to be addressed here that I'll do it in sections.
Ross said:
...your one of the very fortunate ones where everything went pretty much like it should. Take a look at this last weeks surgery folks, I think they all had a hard time, some have not been heard from as of yet.
Ross, I think one of the many differences between you and I is that you look at the world as if it's a glass that's half empty and someone's just waiting, somewhere, to drink up what's left in your glass. I see the glass as half full, and, while I know that it will eventually be drained, I'm going to enjoy and make the most out of the process.
Thus, you think we've not heard from the folks who've been away for a few days because something has gone horribly wrong. I'm assuming the worst has NOT happened, and look forward to hearing how well they've done.
I went into surgery EXPECTING the best! I think that positive outlook has contributed to my positive outcome.
Ross said:
What I meant by I can count on one hand, are the people that went in, had surgery and were out in less then 5 days and home posting like nothing happened. Oh ok, maybe it would take more then 5 fingers, but not much more.
Why in the name of God would you expect for ANYONE to be "out in less than 5 days and posting like nothing happened"? I seriously doubt if anyone goes IN realistically looking toward that kind of outcome! Sure, it happens once in a while, but you're implying that if this very unusually positive outcome DOESN'T happen, the procedure DIDN'T "go pretty much as it should."
The fact is that if someone goes in, stays five days or so, comes out and spends the next few months recovering their strength, and eventually ends up with a better quality of life than they had when they went in, THEN the procedure went pretty much as it should. And this is usually what happens. To imply otherwise is a disservice to people who come to this site for answers. FWIW, I stayed in seven days, was weak as a kitten for at least a month after surgery, and now three months post-op I'm finally feeling pretty much normal.
Ross said:
Yes, I guess I'm envious of you and others that got through it all just fine. Someday I'd like to know why some people do just fine and others go through hell. I know that has nothing to do with you, but just in our head buttings elsewhere, I feel as though what I went through both times was discounted or even unbelievable by some standards and that bothers me. As sure as you know how it went for you, is as sure as I know how it went for me. I wish it would have went any other way then it did (for me).
Ross I hope that I've in no way made you think that I don't take your experiences seriously, or minimize their impact on you, or simply don't believe you. None of that is in the least bit true.
Likewise, I hope you can understand that those of us who have positive outcomes are reluctant to post those outcomes for fear that we sounds like we're gloating. (I believe it's akin to "survivor's guilt.") I've simply decided to post my experiences and trust that readers will understand that I'm not bragging, but hopefully encouraging.
Further, I do believe that your experience is the exception rather than the rule. I have talked with too many people both on this forum and elsewhere who have had largely uneventful AVR experiences to believe that the kind of trauma you've been through is not exceptional.
Why are some outcomes on one end of the spectrum and some at the other? Well, there's probably dumb luck, but as someone who puts a great deal of faith in science I think there are also relatively reliable predictors of the various outcomes that we could examine.
The first thing that comes to mind in your case is that your first procedure was a repair of a dissecting anyeurism, one of the most difficult and least predictable heart surgeries out there. Unfortunately, you had the cards stacked against you before you went under the knife, and from what I understand about that surgery, anyone who survives to tell about it is damned lucky.
My aortic valve replacement, on the other hand, was pretty straightforward from the get go. I was symptomatic only for a short while, had elective rather than emergency surgery, and had the luxury of choosing not only the procedure but also the surgeon after months of diligent research.
Beyond that, and possibly because I've always known about my heart disease, I've done my best over the years to stay healthy. I don't eat much red meat or sweets, I've never used tobacco products, I've exercised regularly, had a job that didn't keep me behind a desk 40 hours a week, have always kept my teeth and gums in good shape, and have a taste for beer and wine that has kept my arteries in better shape than they ought to be considering my historical cholesterol levels. I have no doubt that all of these, as well as my outlook, contributed to my positive outcome.
Ross said:
We are here telling others of our experiences, and while some will scare the hell out of you, some are great outcomes too. I just don't want folks to ever lose sight that they may not be as lucky. I know I went in the last time thinking I'd much better afterwards and came out much worse. Last thing I bargained for was to be on O2 for the rest of my life and a heart the size of Texas looming in my chest, knowing I have more that I'm not looking forward too, to happen in the future. It happens and no amount of looking at great outcomes changes this if it's you that it happens to. I sincerely hope you see what I'm saying.
I do congratulate you on the check up though. The more any of us get through without something else being found or added is nothing but great.
Ross, I think I do see what you're saying, and I do sympathize with you and appreciate your positive words. But there are two things that I think are very important to maintain in this forum for the sake of those in the waiting room. The first is a positive attitude, the second is objectivity, and I will do my best to ensure both have a place here.
I'm sure just about any surgeon out there would tell anyone that it's better to go into surgery with a positive attitude rather than with fear. Fear is the great destroyer- nothing positive can be born of fear.
Finally, any objective look at contemporary valve replacement surgery will result in finding many, many, many more successes than failures. In the overwhelming majority of otherwise healthy patients it is an uncomplicated, if challenging, affair. Without minimizing the pain of your particular experience, Ross, I will maintain that if we are to be truthful and helpful to others might read these posts, we absolutely MUST communicate this as fact.