12 days away

[jax]

well i am only 12 days away from surgery. it has come quicker than it seemed it would. still find myself thinking about it but not as bad as it has been. about the only thing i have noticed lately is that i am getting mad at things easier and cry easier. but other than those little hiccups i have been able to keep myself pretty even-keeled. hopefully with the week coming i can continue to do the same but i have a funny feeling the closer it gets the more the emotions are really going to be all over the place. but my week will be spent cleaning and getting the house in order so that it will be clean when i get home as i know it isn't going to stay that way and when i feel well enough i will have to play catch up with it all and that will get me upset because i just can't seem to understand why i am the only one that will do any cleaning. so that being said i will hopefully be busy enough this week getting everything in order that i won't think too much. since next tuesday is when all the pre-surgery testing begins. That's the day i get my heart cath so even if they don't admit me after that i know that i won't want to do anything after that.

 

[Freddie]

oh Jax, I can understand how you feel about cleaning, but try to relax. Do the bathrooms and the laundry and call it done.

If I had the time to get things done before my surgery, I would have concentrated on ready to serve meals - frozen dinners. My family ate out most of the time if my sister didn't have them over for supper. She really did try to feed them, even though she can't cook

Bake some cookies and do some frozen dinners - trust me, the rest of the house work can WAIT.

Oh yea, stock up on ginger ale or what ever you think you may like.

 

[jax]

i have drinking quite a bit of canada dry lately as from time to time already i become nauseated and that always calms my stomach down but i do need to get some more. should i have lots of pillows on the bed to prop myself up to sleep? trying to figure out what would be the most comfortable. the last couple of days i haven't been able to sleep on my right side which has always been the only way i can sleep good so i need some ideas as i am waking up 2 or 3 times a night anymore.

 

[kfay]

Jax, I agree with Freddie about the housework and putting food up. My family ate out way too much during my recovery period as well and it would have been nice if my husband could have just grabbed something out of the freezer to cook. I definitely needed a lot of pillows in the bed. Lying flat isn't really comfortable nor is lying on your side or stomach for most people. I have to say, my most uncomfortable times were always at night.

You probably aren't sleeping well now because of the stress of the whole thing. Just hang in there, it will be over and done with before you know it.

Kim

 

[jax]

it definitely catches up with me on some days. on those days i am a sleep at 7 and sleep all night. i am at the point now i just want to get it over with. especially with it almost being summer and the weather being beautiful i want to have it done so that i can enjoy my summer. lol well i got a letter from my health insurance saying that the surgery has been approved atleast. but all these medical bills coming in already is starting to stress me out too. i'm just taking it one day at a time right now and trying to keep myself from thinking too much.

 

[bugchucker]

Hey Jax, this is the hardest part as you know. We had a home chef come and prepare 2 weeks of meals, just had to heat them up. Money well spent after my homecoming. Best wishes, I'm rooting for you!

 

[Jkm7]

Defimnitely load up on pillows. I wanted loads of pillows around me both OHS. I was able to sleep in my bed immediately home from the hospital both times but needed to prop myself up with the pillows. Get some large and some smaller. You'll experiment tucking them here and there for what works best for you.
I agree about doing some cooking and freezing now. If you have a freezer, put in some meals you can easily heat and eat.

The wait really is the worst part. Truly.
They will control your pain. They really call this a 'day at the office' for them and that is just how you want it. You want to know they've seen (and dealt) with it all.....and they have. You'll do great.

 

[escargome]

Hang in there jax, as others have already said, don't stress over the house work. I felt the same way, that no one in my house know how to vacuum or dust or even cook for themselves. I was pleasantly surprised. My husband, son and daughter each took days to be in charge of the evening meal. I was thunderstruck!. Anyway, just try to enjoy the each day as it comes and plan out how you will celebrate the summer and your smooth recovery. (I realized that the house didn't fall down because of the dust bunnies)

Wishing you a sucessful surgery and smooth recovery.

 

[jax]

well maybe i won't worry myself too much about the house this upcoming week thanks for all the input. everyone has been so great on here. so thankful i can come on here and talk about it. now if only i could get the husband to talk about it with me. he seems to have no problem talking to everyone else about how he is dealing with all of this he just won't talk to me. i don't know whether this is because he just doesn't want to burden me with how he is handling all of this or is just trying to be strong and make me think that he is just fine. it is hard when i am talking to my family and they are asking how he is dealing with it and having to tell them alright i guess because he won't talk to me about it.

 

[escargome]

Jax,
He is most likely like my husband. If they don't talk to you about it, then it isn't real. At least that is how my 10 feet tall and bullet proof spouse tried to explain it to me Give him a little time. And if he still doesn't want to talk, then you just tell him a million times that you love him and will get through this surgery cause who the heck is going to keep him on the straight and narrow

 

[Ross]

jax, jax. jax, your going to do absolutely fine and when it's over, your going to ask yourself why you worried so much before hand. Tell you a little secret, but don't tell anyone else on the board, o.k.? It doesn't matter if it's your first, second, third or forth surgery, you still have that anxiety. Why? Because we (well some of you are, not me) are human. Being as such, we love to be able to control things and this is one thing that cannot be controlled. I promise you, you'll be fine. Might be hurting for a while, but your going to be fine.

 

[CA Pigg]

Jax, the waiting is the hardest part as everyone has said. Emotions all over the place, getting sad, angry and so forth at the drop of a hat, yep, all normal!! Ross said it so well!! On the pillows, I had a ton of them and I sleep on my side as well so I didn't sleep very well the first bit home or at the hospital. I slept on the couch when I first got home and then eventually moved to the bed with bunches of pillows. I had asked the surgeon when I could sleep on my side again and he said when it didn't hurt, great answer huh, but all a sudden I was back to side sleeping and really don't know when it happened. Each day you will get a little stronger and feel better, it really is amazing!! Walking after the surgery really helps and at first when they tell you that in the hospital you will think they are crazy but they actually know what they are talking about, LOL!! You will be just fine and back home before you know it...I hope your husband drops his armour and talks to you, I think they need for us to see them strong and so they try and keep emotions bottled up. I'm thinking about ya!!!

 

[heyrebekah]

You are going to do great Jax, no worries. I had a lot of fun before my sugery stocking up on books I have been meaning to read and DVDs I've been wanting to watch. Try to look beyond your surgery to the six weeks of relaxing recovery. Oh, and get one of those long body pillows.

 

[jax]

i would say the biggest problem for me right now is how alone i feel. especially since the hubby won't talk to me at all. we went almost the whole weekend without talking about anything. he was more worried about his phone and computer than he was about me. i guess in a way i should be used to it after all it isn't like it is the first time that he's been like this. hell sometimes i wonder why he married me at all with how alone i feel all the time. went to bed real early last night. prolly about 9:30 after laying down for a couple hours in the afternoon.

 

[CA Pigg]

I am so sorry about your feeling alone. You have everyone here to share your feelings with and I really don't think anyone that hasn't been through it has a clue on what we are dealing with emotionally. I know you need your husband to be there for you!! I really hope you can get him to open up, I'm betting he is just as scared as you are. Sounds like he keeps it all in... Such an emotional toll this surgery takes on all of us...Please just know you are not alone!!!!!! I am hoping he sees how much you need emotionally very soon!!!!!

 

[jax]

i hope so too but when he got up this morning and asked me what was wrong i told him i was down in the dumps and started crying he went outside and stayed there until he went to work. I know he has always been the type to bottle things inside and then let it all go at once but one thing that he doesn't realize is with him doing this he is pushing me away. i don't want to feel like i do but have no idea how to get through to him.

 

[JaneBerm]

My HD, who works as a social worker, reacted much the same way. I had to tell him what I was thinking and that I was having a difficult time anticipating the surgery. Seems he can deal with his clients, but not so well when it was close to home. Once I shared my feelings with him, he did open up much more and I think he truly tried to understand how I was feeling. This is a very difficult time for any couple, but I hope you can keep the lines of communication open as you lead up to the big day. You've got plenty of willing listeners here and don't hesitate to come on line and spell the beans. I know that I did it in the days leading up to my surgery and I thank every single member of this VR family that helped and guided me along the way. It is true that only the folks who have been through it can really understand. Someday you'll be on the other side of the mountain and it will be your turn to help others, but for the time being, let us be there for you. Good luck and continue to breathe deeply, it will be over soon. Jane