1 Week to Surgery

[PeteGS]

Hi, I am having my bicuspid valve replaced next week. I have only known about my BV since February and have just learned that my Mother has a BV and may need hers replaced in the coming years. My education on BV has lead me to believe this is quite common and that I'm young to have this done at 33 but the surgery does happen with people much younger. I feel fortunate to have this in an age when medical advancements allow for this opportunity.
I'm not sure what to expect and really wanted to get some input from people who have gone through this. The forums that I have read have helped reduce my concerns. I'm probably concerned most about my wife who is expecting and our little boy Evan who is 14 months and just starting to walk. How will she cope during the surgery? and how will we be able to function in the weeks after? What if something goes wrong? What if our children have BV?
My surgery is next Tuesday and I have pre-op on Monday in Baltimore at St. Josephs. I will be getting a mechanical valve and will require comoudin for the rest of my life. I will be in hospital for at least 4-5 days. I have been told that I won't be able to lift over 10lb's for 3 months after the surgery and will probably miss up to 6 weeks of work. I guess I won't be skiing this Christmas.
Post surgery, I really want to get back into physical activities and enjoy the outdoors. I'm looking forward to getting over the symptoms that I have been feeling (chest pains, shortness of breath) but realize that things will probably feel pretty bad immediately after the surgery. Can anyone tell me what to expect as far as discomfort and make any suggestions on ways to make things easier?
Oh, one more thing. I'm originally from Australia and married an American. We have only been together in the States for a year and a half. I don't know too many people outside my wife's family and friend's but I'm gald to know my wife's family and friends who have been very supportive and they will be keeping her company on the day. I feel a little fortunate in that I had no medical insurance prior to moving here and as soon as I get insurance, I find out about the BV surgery. I guess in many ways meeting my wife and moving to the States has turned out to be a blessing.
Wish me luck.

 

[gijanet]

Hi!

Hi!

Just wanted to welcome you to the group. I know you are anxious. You have had to absorb a lot in a relatively short amount of time. As you read some of the forums on here, you will discover that there is a very mixed opinion on valve choices and types, but it sounds like you have already made your decision, so that is half the battle.

I know that I personally was scared to death when I found out that my four year old daughter (who just recently turned five ) was going to be on coumadin for life. This group helped ease my fears quite a bit about that, although we do still have our little trials and tribulations (like when Katie fell and hit her head at 9:30 at night). I have to admit that so far, though, life on coumadin has not been nearly as bad as I feared. Our lives have not stopped - admittedly a bit different, but not stopped, and we do not evolve our entire lives around Katie's coumadin.........altered a few choices (like moving to the middle of BF Egypt, like we had originally planned), but not in a way that we can't live with. Anyway, I'm rambling........

Don't worry about your family - impossible task, I know, but they will survive. Women are a lot stronger than most men give us credit for. I survived my husband's 11 month deployment, worked full-time, and managed two children, one a toddler who had had two heart surgeries and had a third looming over our heads. Your wife will survive..................and so will you. This surgery will provide you with many more precious years with your family.

Welcome to the group and the US. We will keep you in our prayers. Some of the BV folks will be along soon to give you some more insight. Hugs. J. P.S. Just had to add that I love the nightlife and seafood in Baltimore. I spent six months at Aberdeen Proving Ground, MD, going through my Officer Basic Course.........oh, about fifteen years ago. Loved the crabs the best and there was a fabulous little bar called the Brass Horse Sports Bar in Joppatown. Absolute best jumbo steamed shrimp and the coldest beer in town.............sigh! Back in the good old days. Hugs again. J.

 

[geebee]

Pete,

Welcome to our home. You sound like you have a lot of things settled and planned out. That will make things much easier both before and after surgery.

You can plan on feeling pretty crummy for the first couple of weeks. However, the further you are past surgery, the better you will feel. Just be sure and follow instructions and be kind to yourself. Don't push, listen to your body, and you will be fine.

You should be feeling pretty good by the time Christmas gets here but make sure you don't plan too many activities. Plan on being the center of attention and let everyone pamper you.

If you don't have a recliner, buy yourself an early Christmas present. It is possible to get by without one but it makes sleeping much easier when you are first home from the hospital. Suggest to your wife that she get a good supply of easily prepared meals because time will be used elsewhere. If you live in a 2-story home, make a little nook for yourself on the first floor. Steps can be difficult initially.

I am sure you will hear from others about various suggestions. Just try to relax and know you will be through this soon and well on the way to full recovery.

Take care.

 

[athul]

Hi Pete,

Welcome.
I, like yourself, have 1 week (12/5) till I end this infernal waiting and start the rest of my life.
This forum's been a great place to get advise on dealing with all the anxieties and questions related to this procedure.
I'm in Cincinnati awaiting a new mechanical AV and a little aorta repair (ascending aortic area) at Christ Hospital so I can't advise you of any of the discomfort related to the surgery...sure someone else can help there.
Like yourself, the brain plays hell with me in the middle of the night. What if?? Thats the big one I deal with. I've got 2 small girls (9 & 11) who are very concerned and a wife who's doing her best to deal with this. I think my girls are actually learning that there's something more to Christmas than presents...they say they just want me home for Christmas! ( as long as Santa comes with me I'm sure)
I just do my best to stay busy this last week, get my affairs in order, christmas shopping and finish up work so I can take a 4+ week "vacation".
It's comforting to see friends and family step up to the plate to help out...I think I'll enjoy this for a short while....sure I'm go'in to have alot of paybacks.
Im actually looking forward to hearing my new little valve and maybe experiencing a new energy level that I have not experienced before.
I'll be thinking of ya next monday morning as I sit on that cold bed getting ready for that "cocktail" the anesthesiologist promised. I told him to make it a double!!!
Good luck and I'm sure we'll see your post on the other side of the mountain.

andy
ps: Took my kids to their first football game last wekend, sorry for the thrashing...good effort though.

 

[Curtsmum]

Welcome Pete, my son doesn't have BV but is also looking at life on warfarin, since coming on here i am not has afraid as i was but do still have my moments, iam sure we will all be fine like many others on this forum, some have been taking it for years with little concern, you have found the best place to get all the answers to your questions.Best of luck with your surgery and recovery Paula x

 

[Cris N]

Pete

Welcome to the forum and the country! If you've spent some time reading the forums, especially the 'pre-surgery' threads, you probably have a good idea of what to expect when you get back home. Looks like you'll be home a couple weeks before Christmas - your only tasks for that time will be to eat, sleep, breathe, & walk. (Hint, you might want to take care of any gift ideas in the next day or two!)

The lifting restriction sounds about right as does the time off from work. Many people go back to work part-time for a week or two - eases the transition and helps to build stamina.

Unfortunately, skiing is definitely out for this Christmas. But think how much sweeter it will be next year when you can really enjoy it.

As far as your wife is concerned, I agree, she's probably better able to cope than you think - especially with the help of family & friends. Don't either of you be shy - ask for help when you need it. Your kids - if they have BAV, you'll deal with it... and the future holds so many promises.

I would encourage your wife to join the forum. In addition to talking with the significant others and getting their perspective on things - how they coped, etc. - then we would know her a little bit when she pops in after your surgery to let us know how you're doing.

From your description about meeting your wife, moving, getting the insurance, finding out about your BAV - a bit more than mere coincidence, don't you think?

I keep you in my thoughts & prayers.

Cris

 

[Phyllis]

Welcome, Pete, you will do fine. Here is a thread to help with what to take to the hospital: http://valvereplacement.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13283
Your wife, with a little help from friends and family, will do fine. It is amazing how much stamina one has when a significant other is in need. Wishing you the best and please be sure to ask away as the questions arise and the date comes closer. By the way, I took the liberty of putting you on the calendar for December 6th.

 

[Gemma]

Hi Pete, and welcome to our world-wide family .

It's interesting you mention the coincidence of meeting your wife and then finding out about your bicuspid valve once you moved to America - I'd only been with my boyfriend Jim 2 months when I suggested he go to his GP about the nagging chest pains he was experiencing - turned out he had a bicuspid aortic valve which needed replacing . I had a lot of feelings of guilt around the time we first found out - I know, totally irrational, but the mind does strange things sometimes. Took a while to convince myself it was a good thing he'd found out then rather than when it was too late. Jim had just turned 26 when we found out (in March 2003) and had his valve replaced in December 2003 - we'll be celebrating it's 2nd "birthday" next Friday .

I think you've already got a lot of the specifics covered re: recovery time, lifting, etc. Jim's chest was sore (well, duh!) for a few weeks, he took some heavy duty painkillers while in hospital and occasionally for a couple of weeks after being discharged, then paracetamol as required when he decided he was sick of the side effects of the Tramadol. He managed to sleep in bed from the night he was home with lots of extra cushions, but if you've space and money for a recliner, a lot of people here recommend them. The other important thing to do is get out for walks every day - to the end of the driveway at first, then further every day as you feel more up to it. You'll be feeling delicate for a few weeks but in no way bed-ridden - maybe you can help lay the table for Christmas dinner, but probably no cracker-pulling (do you guys have Christmas crackers in America?).

Your aim to "enjoy the outdoors" is a great one - a few weeks post-op Jim's cardio told him the worst possible thing he could do would be to stop doing the things he loves - why become a couch potato when the whole point of this surgery is to give you back your quality of life?

If your wife wants to come here and join us please encourage her to do so - and if she's feeling like a bundle of nerves right now (like I did the week before Jim's op ) she'll get lots of reassurance and answers to all the questions she ever thought of .

Best wishes,

Gemma.

 

[Karlynn]

Welcome!
You are a year older than I was when I got my mechanical mitral valve. That was 14 years ago. My children were 5 and 7 and are now both in college, one graduates in a semester, the other in a year. Life has been so very good. Coumadin has not stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do. I was never particularly athletic, but we have some incredible athletes here that run marathons, bike, participate in triathelons and ski. I've traveled to Europe.

You will find that the medical community still holds to some big misinformation about Coumadin. One of our best assets here, for Coumadin users, is our member Al Lodwick. He is a pharmacist and runs his own anticoagulation clinic. He travels the world and speaks to medical professionals about warfarin (Coumadin). I highly recommend his site www.warfarinfo.com . Rest assured that while you will be on Coumadin for the rest of your life, you will be able to live your life the way you choose to.

I'm sure your wife will do just fine during your surgery and recovery. Just encourage her to rest when she can. Your lifting limitations includes your 14 mo old baby. That will probably be hard for you not to do. But encourage Even to climb up on Daddy's lap (when you feel up to it). Lifting doesn't mean you can't hug him and snuggle with him.

I think you will find, once you have had your surgery, that the waiting is one of the hardest parts.

Best wishes.

 

[Mary]

Hey Pete,
You won't be skiing at Christmas, but you will be in good shape for water skiing in July if you so desire.

To answer one of your questions: you're going to feel pretty cruddy the first few weeks, but it will pass.
Don't get discouraged; try to keep your eye on the "big picture" and recognize that surgery gives you back your life.

 

[PeteGS]

Thank You - 6 days to go

Thank You - 6 days to go

I really needed some support and to get some answers. I plan to share this forum with my wife so she can ask some questions. More often then not, she is the one that reaches out to people and will be surprised that I am here.
She really has been wonderful so far and being 6 months pregnant I know that this has come at the worst time. Oh, and we don't know what we are having but I suspect we will have a girl.

My biggest problem at this stage is getting enough rest. I find that my body does not want to relax when I go to bed. I've always been a bad sleeper and wonder how much of a difference sleep will be after the valve replacement.

Definetely, I want to thank everyone for the advice. I will definetely talk to my wife about a recliner and will definetely remember to wear underwear for the walk of the halls. I appreciate everyone's honesty in sharing your experiences.

I had my x-ray, bloodwork and EKG completed in the last few days. My Pre-Op appointment will be the day before the surgery where I will find out more specifics about the big day. But after reading Andy's thread I feel I know more about what will happen. Oh, I will be thinking of you on Monday Andy and I'm sure things will be fine. My thoughts will be with you and your family.

Monday I am taking off work (as if I would go to the office the day before!) and hopefully will spend some relaxing time with my wife Alicia and son Evan after the Pre-Op. I doubt that I will have time to do any last minute Christmas shopping and for this year will do most of it on the net as I recover.

On the big day my Mom (Alicia's side) will take care of Evan and Alicia will be joined by a few close friends to supervize proceedings. I feel comfortable with the surgeon and his staff have been extremely comforting and helpful.

Even though I feel tired and have chest pains I feel that I should swing my arms around in the next few days just because I won't be able this time next week. I'm really going to look silly in the office tomorrow. I know that I'm lifting my son every chance that I get at the moment.

One way I am looking at this is that I get to spend 5-6 weeks out of work and with the one's I care about most.

Peter

 

[gadgetman]

Pete,

Welcome aboard. I think most of us here had some trouble getting sleep prior to our surgery. Many of us also experienced some sleepless nights after getting back home. A lot of us turned up here at the keyboard in the early morning hours just to pass the time. Just remember to keep those feet elevated for the first couple of weeks.

Also, get that recliner set up BEFORE you go to the hospital. You wouldn't want to (and you body wouldn't let you) have to move that thing just after you got back home. As for underwear, trust me, after the first couple of days of being poked, prodded, and rolled around with that LITTLE, open in the back gown, you will quickly loose your modesty.

We will keep you and your family in our prayers for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[Georgia]

Hi, Pete! First, good luck next week. Many of us experienced a deep calm prior to surgery - usually the day before or a little sooner. I guess it's our way of accepting the inevitable and truly being ready for the adventure.

Second, take your wife out to eat this weekend - really nice place, everything you love to eat and drink. Your sense of taste will likely be gone after surgery (it can be for up to weeks), so enjoy.

Third, prowl the site for advice for pre-surgery. There's a lot of goodies in here that will help.

Fourth, have your wife massage your back and shoulders a lot when you get home. Don't wait for the cramping and pain to begin. I think the heavy-duty painkillers mask this discomfort in the hospital; it seems to bother us more when we get home. This was the one pain that my darvocet didn't touch.

The discomfort from the sternotomy really isn't as bad as you'd imagine - within 2 weeks I was off darvocet and just using tylenol. I was shocked. There are certain things to avoid at all costs or you'll find out what "discomfort" really is: coughing, sneezing, lifting, pulling sideways (i.e., dog on a leash); child hitting head on the sternotomy. You must avoid these things, and need a heart pillow close at hand to deal with the inevitable coughs and sneezes.

You may want your child to visit grandma's for a couple days when you're first home; he's awfully young to understand that you simply won't be able to rough house with him or lift him. If he toddles by and trips you won't be able to reach out and catch him.

You WILL be surprised how well you'll feel in a relatively short period of time.

Have a good time this weekend and we'll be watching for you on the other side.

 

[PapaHappyStar]

Hi Peter,

I was in your situation ( exactly ) a year ago -- little son, wife who was trying not to show how scared she was as well, foreign country ( although I have been here a lot longer than you ). I think you'll be surprised at how strong a person your wife is ( like I was ).

Things got better for me quite quickly after the surgery and I spent last summer almost entirely outdoors. The first two months were tough but after that things got better really quickly -- I think you'll be feeling better in time for your next big event

All the best -- I too spent the last few days carrying my son around, I think he was a bit puzzled about all the hugging

Regards,
Burair

 

[TomS]

Pete,
I had a Bicuspid valve and bad aortic valves run in the family. I also was concerned and had my 16 year old tested. He's got a completely normal valve. Don't worry about your son at this point.
Tom
P.S. At 33, I'm betting that you will be back on the slopes this season. I just turned 48, had AVR in August and ski'd last weekend, about 13 or so weeks post op. No issues, no new pains - like old times, except when I took an all out run from the summit to the bottom, and realized that for the first time in a while I wasn't winded at all.
Good luck,
Tom

 

[MarkRose]

Hey Pete -
First of all, good luck to you!
I was born with a bicuspid aortic valve and didn't find out about it until I got endocarditis at age 24 (and I had just gotten married!) - and my emergency valve replacement was perfect! My surgery was Dec 12, and I left the hospital on Christmas Eve. And my memories of that holiday are wonderful!
Thank goodness, I didn't experience much pain after the surgery, and it wasn't too difficult to move and walk. The hardest part was getting over the sensation that the stitches would pop. I also felt very tired and lethargic for days afterward. Don't push yourself, but do try to follow the doctor's instructions about walking, that helps a lot.
I know it's hard to think only about yourself. I'm going for my 2nd operation soon, and I keep worrying over my 3-year-old son. Think positive and try to relax. Wish I had better advice!
You and your family will be in my prayers,
Margaret

 

[BDMc]

Welcome

Welcome

Pete, Welcome to our great club. It may not have been on your list of ones to join, but as you can see it can be a real help! You'll be coming down the other side of the mountain very soon now...We will be with you in spirit all the way! Brian

 

[PeteGS]

One week, one day and now about 12 hours

One week, one day and now about 12 hours

Today I have felt like I need to do a million things which is great because I have hardly thought about the surgery. Last minute time holding Evan and taking my wife out for lunch. Christmas cards ! Oh, I managed to get them done today !!! Borrowed a few audio CD's to listen to during recovery.
It's been snowing a little here and the media has gone crazy but I'm sure that there will be no cancellation related to the weather. This time tomorrow I'll be in gaaa gaaa land with all the medication probably starting to kick in.
The Pre-Op today suggested that I'll probably be left alone to wake up and that I will more than likely do so immediately. That's not what I wanted to hear! But I should have asked the question "what will I be feeling?". Anyway the anesthesiologist seemed more like a nice family man then the executioner that I presumed he would look like. I kind of pictured a guy wearing a mask and carrying an axe. Great sense of humor and I felt quite at ease. I quickly forgave those feelings you have when they tell you that there is a minimal chance of things going wrong. Well we all have our dark moments.
My son and wife have been fun to hang out with today. Although I will forgive all the rage due to the imminent baby. Alas, Evan did not take his first steps as I thought he would but I enjoyed reading The Cat in The Hat, holding him and putting him to bed for the last time for about 3 months. (He weighs well over the allowed limit that I can carry during that time).
The support has been awesome from you guys! Friends that I have in the U.S have been fabulous and I'm even having a Mass Intention read for me tomorrow by my wife's Grandmother in Virginia. She lost her husband almost 2 years ago today and it was just so touching to speak to her and thank her for the intention.
Ok I'm going to rest soon and hopefully sleep well tonight.
Thank you for all the wishes and words of wisdom.

Peter
BVR December 6th at St. Josephs Baltimore
I have only known about this since February. This time last year I was exercising to complete a triathlon.

 

[Georgia]

Pete, I hope you'll have someone post for you to let us know how you've done. We worry incessantly about those who've have surgery and really really like to hear asap.

Best of luck; hear from you on the other side.