Your Favorite Things? (pre & post surgery)

[DeWaynesWife]

Hi All,

I wish each of you to know how helpful this forum has been for DeWayne and I regarding his upcoming surgery. Thank all of you for your helpful comments to his recent post here and for your words of encouragement. We both need it.

I hope those of you who have been there recently can help again. I?m looking for little things that entertained you, to help pass the time. What were your UNEXPECTED favorites?

I?d also love to hear of those smallest of gestures or gifts you received that you truly appreciated.

And yes you can let me know of the big things too, of course

We can try our best to prepare, but it's still hard to know what to expect. Especially from the outside looking in. Anything I can do to make this easier for DeWayne will make it easier for me as well. Your suggestions would be much appreciated.

Warmest regards to all,
Gwen, aka DeWayne?s wife
(for 20 years and looking forward to at least 20 more <g>)

 

[Superbob]

Little Things Mean a Lot

Little Things Mean a Lot

Gwen,

One of the big things I remember is that my wife and son went out and bought a recliner for me that was waiting for me when I came back home. It was my post-op secure base for several weeks. They also picked out an assortment of neat movies for me to watch. I felt more like watching than reading for a few months.

Another large thing is that my daughter set up wireless Internet for me while I was in the hospital. I could get back on vr.com easily!

A "small thing" I remember is that my daughter carefully sorted all the medications I had to take post-op and fixed them in a pill-organizer by time of day so I did not have to deal with that. That meant a lot because I was mentally a little foggy at first (which is not uncommon).

I'm sure there were many other kind acts (a few cherished friends actually telephoned me in the hospital a few days after surgery, which surprised me in a nice way.). I'll probably think of some more, but will be interested to see what others have to say.

Oh one other thing: I remember that my sweet wife fixed me a plastic bottle of ice cold water that would last me through each night as I slept off and on in the recliner. (I couldn't sleep in a bed for a few months after surgery.)

Will be watching for reports on DeWayne. I am confident everything will go well. All best wishes to you both.

Cheers,

 

[dj/utvolsfan]

I am wondering if I should even tell you....makes me sound like such a kid!!!! Never was into the computer games EVER but one of my students insisted I take his hand-held tetris game with me to Cleveland. It was a lifesaver! One of those things that occupied my mind without taxing it during the days I was alone in the motel as well as post-op in hospital and even during nights a few weeks afterwards when I had developed lung issues and couldn't sleep. Never would have thought that little thing would entertain me like it did!
Also received a care basket full of gifts...one gift per day I was going to be away from my teacher friends. Things I would never have thought about but came in handy......chapstick, earplugs, batteries for cd player, thank you notes, stamps, journal, relaxation tea, a bell to put beside my bed, pillow case my class had written on...and finally the secretary at my school had organized a letter writing deal where she had my closest friends, students (past and present), school custodians, staff, etc. to write me notes of encouragement where they also noted something I had done that had touched them some how. They were called 'heart warmers'. Priceless.
Wishing DeWayne the best!
Debbi

 

[Lynlw]

I don't know if you have given any thought about setting up one of the free pages like caringbridge.org or carepages.com but we origonally set Justin's up because we thought it would be so much easier to post updates then calling everyone and spending all the time on the phone (and still forgetting someone) we just sent all our friends and family the link and told them to check for updates. BUT it turned out that it was really nice reading all the messages people left and seeing how many people were praying for us.almost every message was like a little gift that really made us feel good. Justin was really surprised at how many people that he never expected took the time to leave a note. If you haven't seen anyone's page here is Justin's link, both caringbridge and carepages are free to any family going thru medical things and are very easy to set up I can do it and i am one of the most computer challanged people I know. www.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw
Something little that Justin really liked was lip balm, he was not a lip balm kid but you get so dry especially on the vent and he said how great it felt. the favorite thing someone sent him (and Me ) was a cookie bouquet. oh and most important a small pillow the size of a throw pillow, to hug when coughing or laughing they really help w/ the pain, some hospitals provide them but if you don't know if your does or doesn't i would have one just in case. and speaking of hug pillows, one note of something NOt to take, (learn from our mistake) we took alot of movies and the laptop for Justin to watch them on and not thinking packed some comedies, bad move because laughing hurts right after OHS.
I think this is great you are asking this. the most important thing you can do for him is to make sure someone is w/ him at all times and keep an eye on the pain meds and let the nurses know when it is time if they don't bring them, if you are polite and wait past the time for the next pill, once they pain starts it's harder to control.
You will Both be in my prayers, it is very hard on us watching our loved one go thru this. Lyn

Ps, Gwen BTW that is one of my fav names, I just checked your profile, I think you could handle the caringbridge page lol

 

[marky]

Greatest things..
the Ice Chips by far! in the hospital
After coming home, my sister also organized my meds and a chart with the times that I took things b/c my memory was shot so I knew what I took and when.

the back rubs by my dh

the meals prepared for me by my friends from church, mainly POT ROAST! surprisingly Pot Roast never tasted so good!! I think I had 8 brough in
But the meals were wonderful!

Just being in my own home..felt like my own little pc. of heaven

 

[Ross]

While your in the hospital, there really isn't any time that isn't consumed except for the day you get to leave. They have you working at recovery from the moment you can stand again until you leave. The mind will be jumbled up to the point that puzzles or even simple things can be quite complicated, so I rule those out. When he's not being worked out, he'll will crash out. It is very tiring and hard.

Cards and calls from friends was my best choice for things to receive. I really needed to know someone really did care about me. That may sound selfish, but between the drugs and hallucinations and all, that is how I felt.

 

[Nancy]

As one who has waited during many surgeries that my husband has had, I'll share my little list of what to bring to the hospital.

Here is a list of things I found useful while waiting.

A nice little canvas or other carry bag with handles-something sturdy that can be laundered.
Crossword puzzle book, Soduko or other things that could help to pass the time
Prepaid calling card or your cell phone
A list of important phone numbers
Roll of quarters for vending machines
Pkg. of Altoids or other strong mints (mouth can get dry when you are nervous)
Small bottle of mouthwash
Imodium (I was glad I had that!)
Small pkg. of Tums
Aspirin, Advil or other headache remedy
Some hard candies
A neck roll pillow, like those used for traveling
A small throw, nerves can make you cold
A pad and pencil
Pkg. of hand wipes or baby wipes
Small bottle of Purell
Small pkg. of Kleenex
Travel size hand lotion
Lip balm
Bottle of water and a straw.

Now, before surgery sit down with your husband and draw up a couple of sheets of pictures of stickmen and smileys and words which represent different things that he might need, i.e.:

I'm cold
My lips are dry
I want the nurse
I am in pain
I want the doctor
I love you
Tell me what they did during the operation (the doc will no doubt share some of the things with you)
Need the potty, bedpan
Sheets under me are rumpled
Fix my pillow
When can I have some water (you will ask the nurse on that one, he won't be able to have water for a while, but may be allowed ice chips, but has to be cleared with the nurse first)
Swab my tongue (there are little moistened mouth swabs that can help with dry mouth, but the has to be cleared
Need suctioning (when he's on the vent, the nurse will do it)
Feel nauseous
Did you call everyone

I'm sure you can come up with more.

Then when he wakes up and is still on the vent, you can have him point to whatever he wants, since he won't be able to speak until the vent comes out.

 

[Georgia]

Welcome, Gwen! We are chock full of ideas. We can occupy SO MUCH of your time you'll barely notice the wait until surgery!

Some of my favs:

His own pillow with additional cases for the hospital.

I second the cell phone if your hospital will let him use it in ccu (mine did). Reaching the phone on the stand was painful for me.

A tippee cup for the hospital (get the disposable ones so he can have a clean one often). He can rest the ice water next to him in bed.

A non-leaking tippee cup for bedtime at home. I filled mine with water, and put it and my pain meds in a covered plastic container - just put the container next to my pillow; I often overslept my pain pills and it's much better to just lie there and take a pill than have to get out of bed when the pain pills have worn off.

Honestly, get well cards from everyone was the best. Encourage them.

If he normally pays the bills, etc., you don't want him doing that for a while - I did, and was mighty glad for overdraft protection. Checkbooks and ohs don't mix.

Get a small plastic stool for use in the shower for the first week or two - the hot water can make him lightheaded. Be sure you're around when he showers the first couple of days, just in case.

 

[DeWaynesWife]

Wow!

Wow!

You guys/gals are incredible. Every reply is so helpful, I hope to hear more. Thank you!

Bob, the recliner idea is a great one. How does yours operate? i.e. lever on the side, pulley in the seat or totally electric?(oooh aaahh! the ultimate couch spud) I plan to move the recliner in our living room (not used much there) to our bedroom for a few weeks. It has a lever on the side. We're trying to decide if reaching and manuvering it is going to be a problem and for how long?.

DeWayne is a night owl, stays up late with computer and TV in basement. No way will I sleep if he's down there alone, so we are trying to arrange for him to be in the bedroom after 11:00 p.m. for a while. Yep, we're getting an extra cable TV jack and TV in there too, at least for a while.

I have questions for others I'll post separately. God bless all of you.

 

[RandyL]

Well this may sound crazy but they put 2 picks in me while in the hospital by mistake I think. Anyways I never got stuck once for blood tests and they take them every 6 hours in my hospital.Anyways ask for them and your husband won't get the dreaded needle during his stay.

 

[Superbob]

Gwen,

So glad you started this thread -- it's been fun to read all of these members' ideas.

My recliner operates with a lever on the side that makes the leg rest go up or down. It also will swivel 360 degrees -- something that I didn't much use just out of the hospital but a feature that my granddaughters now absolutely love. (How fast can Pop-Pop's chair spin?)

As much as I loved the recliner, there was one thing to overcome. I was told not to lift myself up by the arms when the sternum was in its early healing phase. So I devised a way to get up from the recliner when no one was around without using my arms much. Hard to explain, but as I remember it, I'd keep the lever engaged, lean forward so the recliner tilted forward, and slide to my feet (more or less, sometimes to my knees). Don't know if this method would be recommended by any safety expert, but I imagine DeWayne will work out his own solution. Maybe he'll just holler for you to help him.

My night table next to the recliner was very important to me. I neglected to mention that the ice water my wife fixed for me every night was in a nonspillable cup, what we called with our babies a "sippee cup." When I woke up in the night, every few hours, that was the first thing I reached for. I also had the TV remote. Like your husband, I am a night owl. I don't recall watching any movies at 3 a.m., but sometimes I did put on one of the 24/7 musical stations to listen to some soothing sounds.

I also remember having lots of blankets and pillows (but this was in February, with lots of snow and ice outside). One pillow was special -- the heart-shaped one the Mended Hearts organization brought me in the hospital. It's plump and huggable. In fact, I STILL sleep with that pillow. Gives me a secure feeling.

Will keep tuning in to these ideas you're collecting.

Cheers,

 

[DeWaynesWife]

Nancy, Thank you for your list! Many things I would have never thought of.

Debbie, those hand held games sound great. One for ME too We're all just older kids.

Lyn, thanks for the link. What a wonderful idea. All good ideas too.

Marky, I'll be happy to give hubby back rubs when I can. But it also made us think about one of those electric ones that you can lay in the chair and turn on as needed. We may look around for one.

Ross, I'm definitely encouraging his family and friends to drop him notes. Your post reminds me to simply have patience at all times. I can't imagine how hard this will be for him.

Georgia,
HIS OWN PILLOW at the hospital! I know that will make him more comfortable.

Thanks all. Keep up the good work, I know these ideas will help many many others.

Gwen