What does it feel like when you wake up?

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L

LindaVA

Hi everyone!
Its LindaA- since I don't post all that much, a refresher on me- 38 yrs old going in for Mitral Valve repair at Penn Presby on March 9th

As my subject line states, what does it feel like? I was told by someone who had it done that she was on a ventilator when she woke for a few hours and that was hell b/c they had her strapped down! Other than that, felt like a mac truck hit her, but she had to have a full sternotomy-- I'm having port access/minimially invasive.

The tube down the throat and being strapped down is a nightmare to me! Anyone have any similar experience or anything to share about what I should expect when i wake?

Also, for those of you 6-8 weeks out, were you in a denial? Besides the odd post or thought here and there, I don't think about it much at all. Maybe b/c they are so minimizing my risk etc b/c of my excellent health, age, etc, but I really haven't focused yet. I'm waiting for that terror to begin-- when does it hit-- a month out?

LA
 
I remember very well what it was like when I woke up. It was actually the happiest moment in my life!!:) I was still intubated, but I had mentally prepared myself for that. Besides, I was so drugged up, it wasn't that bad. In any case, I remember my husband saying to me that my operation had gone very well. Since the surgeon had told me that my chances for a repair were about 80% (and of course I saw the 20%), when my husband continued and said that the surgeon had been able to do a repair, I gave the thumbs-up sign with my left hand, and after that I feebly tried to clap my hands. The surgeon then came by and told me the same thing but in more detail and I did the same thing with him (which he remembers)!! I felt like I was glued to the bed, but I have no idea if I was tied down or not. I also felt like I had been hit by a truck, and yet with all the morphine or whatever, I really didn't feel pain. I was only awake for a few minutes. The next thing I remember was when they took the ventilator out.

If you are having the minimally invasive operation, everything should be even easier, although waking up is probably more-or-less the same.

As far as being in denial before the operation, it was actually in 2004 after my endocarditis when I was told I needed a valve operation that I was in denial. By the time I actually had the operation, I couldn't wait to have it.
 
I had the full sternotomy and woke up quite peacefully. Felt like a dream. The throat tube was gone already so I don't recall that. To be honest, my first thought was whether I was coming or going? The time from when I recall starting to count backwards to be put under and waking up felt like a split second. I vaguely remember my wife speaking to me but it was quite surreal.

I don't recall waking up strapped down, although I do remember that I couldn't move. I think that was more due to lack of energy and drugs rather than physically being strapped down. My head felt like it weighed 200 lbs!

I don't recall any pain until they tried to move my position....yikes! :eek:

Throat was a bit sore. Thank goodness for ice chips. I recall getting jello in ICU, too.....a bit later when I was more awake.

I can't say I was in denial, and was quite anxious to get it over with. My OHS was only about 18 months from when they first thought I might have a heart problem (not necessarily surgery) and 6 months from when they determined I need surgery. That said, despite being ready it became quite the reality on the day of surgery.

Good luck and best wishes.
 
It is presumably different for us all.

Terror didn't set in at all for me, I just wanted to get it over and done with. As I was relatively rapid from my initial problem to being 'very, very sick' speed was of the essence. Also my surgery was two weeks before my daughter's wedding so I needed to get on with it.

When I woke up in ICU my immediate thought was 'So I woke up then'. I didn't have any ventilator in at that stage, I don't know when it came out but I was in ICU certainly overnight, my surgery was at 1pm and I went into High Dependency the following day immediately after I woke up. The next thing I heard after waking up was a man, presumably a doctor, saying 'Why is she still here?'. I don't remember being strapped down at all.

ICU wasn't at all scary for me as I was shown around the evening before my surgery so knew exactly what it was like in there. I hasten to add that it was empty when they showed me around, no one with nasty tubes. I later took some of my visitors to have a look, one was a medical student so found it interesting.

The hospital I had my OHS in has less than 100 beds so they will not be performing more than a few OHS per day, if that. My own surgeon operated there once a week, so perhaps two or three surgeries depending on what they were. I assume other surgeons also used it for OHS, just not on Thursday. :)

Good luck.
 
Hi Linda!
I woke up with the tube still in but, as described above, I was so drugged up that it really wasn't bad at all. I was glad when they took it out, but there was no fear, feeling of claustrophobia, stuggle to breathe or any of the things that well-meaning people warned me about in advance and that I worried about needlessly. Mostly, I just felt thirsty, out-of-it and some pain (although not as much as I expected.) Hopefully, you'll have a similar experience! Kate
 
First Surgery -- I woke up strapped down with beathing tube and something on my eyes that prevented them from opening. When I could hear people talking, but not see them or talk to them I thought I was dead for a few seconds. Then I started to struggle but I was bolted down and the nurse started tellng me to settle down or I'd be strapped and tubed even longer. Then I was able to lift my wrist a little and shoot her the bird! My parents can't get over that story. Don't remember the tube coming out that time.

Second Surgery -- I remember waking up and hearing all the beeping from the machines. I still had the tube in so I was prepared for that. I was also prepared to not be able to see, but I could which was a present suprise. I just remember being very happy that I was alive. Apparently I squeezed some of my friend/family members hands but I don't remember that. About three hours later, after much begging from me via hand gestures, they removed the breathing tube. My throat was brutally sore and I spent the rest of the begging the ICU nurse to give me more ice chips, which she would not do because she said my stomach had not yet recovered from the anesthesia. Well in the morning when the next ICU nurse came in she started giving me all the ice chips I wanted and then I promptly threw up. Guess that first ICU nurse was right!

All in all, if you are prepared for the situation you are going to be in waking up isn't bad at all. For me it was relieving.

Best wishes,

Brad
 
Linda, I also had the port access surgery. I had asked to be kept well sedated while I was still on the ventilator and I was until just a short while before they removed the breathing tube. When I was awake enough I needed to be reminded (often:eek:) to leave the tubes alone. It wasn't bad though. I was just so foggy that I wasn't able to remind myself of how I was going to relax and breathe with the ventilator and all my other good plans.

I didn't have sternum pain but did have some really severe muscle spasms in my right rib cage but pain medications eased that and overall it was not nearly as bad as I expected. Pain wise, I've had orthopedic and abdominal surgeries that had worse pain. It took a while before my shortness of breath became less apparent and I was a bit taken aback by how weak I felt. It just wasn't a horrible thing to go through at all.
 
Bradley White said:
First Surgery -- I woke up strapped down with beathing tube and something on my eyes that prevented them from opening. When I could hear people talking, but not see them or talk to them I thought I was dead for a few seconds. Then I started to struggle but I was bolted down and the nurse started tellng me to settle down or I'd be strapped and tubed even longer. Then I was able to lift my wrist a little and shoot her the bird!
Click to expand...

Brad, I was going to post how scary that must've been, but once I finished the paragraph I have to add that I love how funny it turned out!

Linda, I remember virtually nothing about being in CICU or waking up there... I *think* they took my chest tubes out while I was still in CICU, but removing those was a non-event for me. I don't remember the intubation tube at all.

The one thing that was unpleasant for me, both in CICU and in the stepdown room, was when I had to stand up moving between the wheelchair and the bed. When I stood, the bottoms of both my feet were terribly sore. No one could explain it, and Stelzer swore he didn't beat the bottoms of my feet during surgery. The only explanation I can think of is that the CICU bed may have been too short for me (I'm 6'4"), and my feet may have been crammed down against the footboard on the bed.

It took a couple of weeks for my feet to get back to normal, but that was the only disconcerting/painful/mysterious thing about my waking up.
 
The hospital I was in was fantastic in pain management. I vaguely remember waking up back in ICU hearing all the noises when a beautiful voice whispered in my ear ?I?m Jennifer and I?ll be taking care of you until we can get that nasty tube out----just lay back and sleep?. How could you turn down an offer like that? After what felt like a very short nap that sweet voice whispered in my ear ?we are going to take that tube out so don?t try to fight it?. It was over before I knew it. I don?t really remember much for the rest of that day (early morning surgery) until the next.

As for the mood going in, I really didn?t have too much time to dwell on it from the time I found out until I had surgery. I went thru the ?WHY ME? a lot until I found VR.COM. and found out there were a lot of folks here that had experienced much worse and survived. But both the wife and I discussed how much we felt at peace. Neither of us ever reached a moment of ?what am I doing????, even when the surgeon (just before they admitted me to ICU) told us based on the test results he had reviewed this was going to be a very risky surgery and gave me about a 20 per cent success level. I even had a visit from the Heart Transplant Team while laying in ICU before surgery!!!!! They wanted to give me some options for WHAT IF!!!!!

I will end with the disclaimer that "EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT". But with a positive attitude and a lotta help from above, we can get thru almost anything.

Good Luck and,

May God Bless,

Danny
 
For each of my surgeries, I woke up with the breathing tube still in. The fact that it was in did not really bother me but it did bother me when they suctioned the tube because it makes (at least it did me) you gag big time. That was the bad part. Pain was there but I remember it like I was looking through a veil - very hazy and surreal.

I do not recall being tied down although it is possible. For my last OHS, I do recall the nurse having me listen for the ventilator warning buzzer. She said if it continued to go off, then the tube had to stay in because it meant I needed assisted breathing. Don't exactly know how that works although I guess they turn it down/off to let you try and breathe on your own before removing the tube. I remember crying each time the alarm went off but being so very happy when they finally came to remove the tube.

I think the one thing I do remember about any of the "bad" things that go along with OHS is how great you feel when each is over. You know, like the old saying, "I hate hitting myself in the head but it feels so good when I stop".;) :D ;)
 
It's not the sort of thing you forget. It's been 15+ years now and that wakeup moment is seared in my brain. I woke up very groggy and for only a short time but was totally annoyed at the tube down the throat because I wanted to talk. My wife and older daughter were there. The daughter was leaving for a couple weeks in Germany the same day. I squeezed her hand and fell back to sleep.

I guess I was in that unit about 24 hours but didn't remember more than a few minutes of it. Pulling the tubes was a big relief. There was no pain in getting them out and they were so damned uncomfortable I would have withstood anything to be rid of them. When I got to the regular room I had no trouble sitting up or moving around and from what everyone told me, the drugs made me so chatty they couldn't shut me up.
 
Hi Linda -

I've woken up on the ventilator with two different heart surgeries. The first one was scary and difficult because I didn't know about it and wasn't prepared for it. The second one, even though I was prepared for it, was infinitely worse. If there is a next time I will ask for Versed or Verced.
 
geebee said:
Pain was there but I remember it like I was looking through a veil - very hazy and surreal.
Click to expand...

It's interesting that you use that phrase, GB... I wasn't in pain, but the recollection that I have from CICU, of holding my friend Bill's hand in my left hand, and Noni's in my other, could be described exactly like that... everything was very hazy... like looking through a gausy veil of some sort...
 
Like you, I was afraid of the breathing tube more than any other part of the surgery. Luckily, by time I was "conscious", they had taken it out and I have only the foggiest memory of the event. I used quotes in the previous sentense because my family said that I was moving some and even opened my eyes a couple times, but as far as I'm concerned, if I don't remember it, I wasn't really conscious. From my unscientific gut feeling from this website, it seems like only about 50% of people remember the tube being in at all.

As far as "terror" goes, I was similar to some of the people above that said they couldn't wait to get it over. I couldn't stand the idea that my heart had a defect that was slowly causing it to enlarge and weaken and was potentially causing permanent damage. I instead, got frustrated whenever I had to wait a couple weeks to get in for various tests and couldn't believe that the list to see my eventual surgeon was about six weeks long. As far as I was concerned, I would have liked to get diagnosed on Monday and have surgery on Friday.

The only pain I felt was in my neck and shoulders. Make sure you have someone in your family bring a pillow to help out with this.
 
I can't help you on the waking up because I am scheduled for surgery Feb. 9th. However on the dwelling time before surgery, I have known of my condition for 4 yrs. Didn't really think much about it until July of this year when they told me that surgery will be soon. Then I just kicked into information mode. I wanted to find out everything I could before surger. I found this place and have felt very at ease during the last months. I got all my dental work done that I would need for the next 6 months. Got other things in order and for me that makes me feel at ease. I set my date yesterday and that was probably the first time it really hit me. I still don't feel like I can't go throught this but just a feeling of anxiety to get it done. Good luck and we are all different so what you feel is you. I will be thinking of you in the next couple of months.
 
I just "woke up" a week ago yesterday. My husband and I tried to piece together the timeline but it is still pretty sketchy most of my memories of CICU. I know he came twice and I have very little memory at all of him being there.

I remember waking up, opening my eyes (I'm near blind without my glasses so drugged or not the world would look like through a veil), hearing the busy sounds of an ICU and thinking "Wonderful! I'm alive!" and then I drifted off back to sleep. I then remember waking up again and indicating that I didn't like the breathing tube to one of the nurses who said I had to relax and not fight it, that I was getting plenty of oxygen. I felt like I wanted the darn thing out so that I could *breathe* the tube felt like it was filling up my throat. I fell back asleap and woke up in a haze several more times each time fussing about the tube and there was a wonderful nurse whose voice rang through the haze and told me to stop fighting the tube and I would drift back to sleep. I remember seeing my surgeon and hearing the word "repair". That made me very happy but I questioned whether I had really heard it since I was so out of it. I wouldn't call the waking up during this part of the day as really "waking up" to real consciousness I was major league dazed. I expect many people sleep through this part.

When it was finally time for the tube to come out I was more alert. Yeah, it makes you gag on the way out, big deal, for me it was like those strep tests they do where they scratch the back of your throat with the mega Q-tip. I've had a lot of those being a person with rheumatic fever in my background. They suck, it's over in like 5 secs, you deal with it, finished.

Nobody strapped me down or threatened to. I remember hearing lovely things like a male voice calling me the "cutest one in the ICU". :eek: I remember hearing "it's going to be OK, just rest & relax, it's all fine".

Once I was alert I remember using a lot of "pleases" and "thank yous". I tried to read and remember everyone's name from their badge and then use their name the next times I saw them. This common courtesy helped create a positive atmosphere but also helped me judge my own metal acuity over time.

I did panic, a few weeks before surgery, you can find that thread here. But I soon got over that by viewing the whole thing in perspective. I was sick and getting sicker. There was NO upside to not having the surgery, just a certain decline. The odds are good for surgery, certainly better than for no surgery in my case. Then I just wanted to get it over with!

I wish you all the best for a successful surgery and uneventful recovery!

Ruth
 
thanks for responses

thanks for responses

Everyone thanks for the responses. I suppose the lesson to be learned is sleep thru the tube and if you can't ask for drugs!

I agree that my first thought will be, yippee I'm alive, my second thought will be, did you repair it and after that, I think I'll put up with anything the ICU can dish out, including the darned tube

And yes, I can relate to everyone's anxous feelings, but a good anxious. Maybe that's why i'm not nervous or dwelling b/c I'm somewhat excited the day is almost here.

I have to have a cath the day before the procedure. Anyone else have a minor surgery followed by the biggie the next day?

Thanks again. I'm sure I'll be on more frequently in the next few weeks
 
Yes, my cath was the day before, on the 8'th. They were nice & let me check in, do the cath, go to a regular room and then into surgery the next morning. There's also a logistical reality here, the hospital is in downtown DC and with traffic and other unexpected stuff in DC I think it's a convenience for them as well as me. I was fine right after and even during the cath. I remember them giving me versed to make me forget but I don't remember forgetting anything, just getting a little loopy. I tried to hop up onto the cath table and the nurses were startled. I was supposed to stand there and let them help me up by stepping on a little padded stool. I was like "man, lemme just hop up here, get this over with and get going". They had this big pressure bandage on my leg where they did the cath and I was shocked when I pulled off the bandage and the incision was tiny! Maybe a whole 1/2 inch, maybe less. I was lucky, my vessels were all clear. Having the cath done the day before was fine in my case.
 
Please don't be afraid.

Please don't be afraid.

Linda,

Don’t let that scare you. For me the going under was the hard part. We’d all been happily discussing how cold the ER room was and why (germs don’t like cold is what they told me). Next thing I know my favorite cowboy comes in the room and tells me it’s time, and for me to think ‘happy thoughts’. For some reason I thought of my little six year old daughter crying as I left her a couple days before .... a seven hour drive away from where I was. Tears started to well up in my eyes and *poof* I was out. I guess he seen it coming. lol

When I woke up I was in no pain. I wasn’t tied down and didn’t have a tube down my throat... I don’t think. I know neither was there by the time I got to the ICU room. I remember hearing the doctors talking about my blood pressure. Thought how weird it was that they all shut up when I opened my eyes. lol And then the nurses putting these fantastic WARM blankets over me. It was so cool, they had an oven in the wall they were taking them out of.

Think happy thoughts!! I'd try my darndest to think of a sunset or something it I had it to do over. lol But I'd still probably end up thinking of my kids.

OH.... yes, I did have an agio two days before the surgery. Now that was the hard part.... having my surgery postponed an hour before it was supposed to be done. The angio was painless and kinda neat... I watched it on a monitor and listened to the cardio .... he had a student with him.
 
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