Update on my Dad

[lovemydad]

Hi Everybody-

I posted a couple weeks ago about my Dad having weird delusions after his surgery. Thank you to you all for your words of support. The weirdness ended and he seemed back to himself. He was discharged to rehab in the hospital but was not being the best patient and not really doing what he's supposed to do. He was having a hard time getting his strength back.

He has just been readmitted to the hospital, which really means he was just sent upstairs again. They are again concerned about his kidneys and are putting him back on dialysis.

It's so hard to watch him struggle. He's not doing the best to make things easy on himself, but I struggle with what I can do to help make things easier. I try to encourage and support him, but I feel like that's not enough. Yet I understand he's a big boy.

Any pointers for how to help boost his spirit?

Mel

 

[Nancy]

I guess, I would want to know if he has slipped into depression. You might want to have a psych consult for him. Many heart surgery patients have depression after surgery, it is very common. I know my husband did, and he took antidepressants and it made all the difference in his attitude and willingness to fight for his life.

You have to do your best to convince your dad that this is his body and he has to help to make it heal correctly, no one else can do it for him. If he doesn't try to discipline himself and do what they ask, he could end up in very bad straights.

The other side of the coin is that he might not be physically well enough to do any rehab. Kidney failure enough to make dialysis necessary can make you feel just miserable. I know because Joe had it and ended up on permanent dialysis.

Dialysis itself causes enormous exhaustion. One of Joe's hospital roommates was a young man in his twenties, and he had to have dialysis. After every one of his treatments, he slept for a day. And Joe was too exhausted after treatments to do any kind of in home therapy. The therapist would come and try to get him going, but he just couldn't physically do it. It was sad to see.

First have a talk with his doctors and ask about a psych evaluation for depression, and also ask them about his physical abilities to do the rehab. Maybe if rehab is scaled back a bit to something less ambitious, he might be able to do it a little and start there and build up very slowly. He might have to gain some confidence that he can do some small things and it might inspire him to do a little more.

 

[Luana]

Depression is very common after heart surgery and can range from mild to severe. I would talk to his doctor(s) about it. It's hard to get better when you feel like cwap.

 

[sylviayasgur]

hi mel,
i 'm sorry your dad is going through such a hard time.
i agree with what the others have said. depression is so common after heart surgery.
hope things start to look up a bit soon.
please keep us posted.
all the best,
sylvia

 

[Ross]

It sounds to me like his kidney issues are the cause of his lack of cooperation in rehab. Exhaustion is most definately part of kidney failure. Hopefully, they can get that issue straightened around and get him back on track.

 

[lovemydad]

Thank you all for your comments. He's had three rounds of dialysis in two days, so hopefully that's causing some of the exhaustion. The doctors are still hopeful that he wont need dialysis forever and that his kidneys will recover. They started him on antidepressants a week ago, so I'm hopeful that those might start to show some affect soon too. It's so hard to watch him struggle and not know how to help. I'm not in the same state either, so all I can do is call, and recently he's been too tired to talk for more than a couple sentences.

Mel

 

[Lily]

How difficult! Your comments sent me down memory lane. Can your dad still see to read? I sent my dad get well cards when we went through a slightly similar situation. With a personal message. Every day. For weeks. He always liked getting mail. Sometimes it's easier to write a kind thing from the heart than to actually say it. For me anyway.

Very sorry for what you and he are going through; hoping his kidneys will quickly recover. Best wishes