to chemo or not to....

[Candy]

I have been absent from here the past week as I have sorted through the ongoing issues with the breast cancer. I am healing well from my 2nd surgery (11/3). The oncologist I met with 1 1/2 weeks ago suggested chemo, but explained that it would give me approx. a 3% difference in my chance of a reoccurance of the cancer. However, there are 5 oncologists in the dept, and 2 agreed with him and 2 disgreed! It seems that the fact that my tumor, although very small at 1/2 cm, was poorly differentiated (aggressive) and that I am still young (premenopausal), chemo would be a good idea. That doesn't sound like a lot to me right off the bat when I consider what chemo would be like. Either way, I go through 6 weeks of radiation and 5 years of Tamoxifen. I was utterly stunned when he suggested it, as was my husband. I have gone back and forth, yes or no yes or no. My gut said no, but I wanted to be sure I would be making the right choice, so I continued to research. This past week I met with 2 different radiation oncologists. Both were surprised at the suggestion of chemo for my situation The doctor I really liked, and will go to for the radiation, felt strongly that it is not necessary for me. I also had a long talk with a close friend who has been through the whole thing, and carries the gene. She said if she were me, she would not do it. I have a 2nd opinion at the UCLA Breast Center on 11/24. I will see a team of doctors. I am waiting to make a final decision until after that meeting. I am utterly exhausted. All the appts., work, my kindergartner, my emotions are kicking my bottom! Joe tries hard to intercept phone calls for me, as I can't keep going through it all. My friends mean well, and I love them dearly, but... So my dear VR friends, that is the reason I have been absent from here. Thank you all, yet again, for your support.
Candy

 

[geebee]

Candy,
I am so sorry for all you're going through. It just doesn't seem fair but that doesn't alter the fact that you still have to deal with it.
I have done a lot of research into breast cancer because it runs in my family (although I do not have it). My research has convinced me that, given the same circumstances as you, I would not undergo chemo. I would feel the side effects were not worth the questionable difference in the success of treatment of breast cancer with & without chemo.
That being said, of course it is only a decision you can make. I just wanted to confirm what apparently you have found with your research.
I will be thinking of and praying for you that you will be comfortable with your decision whatever that may be. I believe this will all turn out well for you.
Take care and smiles,
Gina

 

[Mary]

Candy,
We had to make that decision with my mother when her lymphatic cancer returned a year ago last August. Her rational for no aggressive chemo was much like yours, and we all agreed with her.
It was the wrong choice in terms of stopping the cancer. No one will ever know how much time it would have bought her, but she did end up with a very aggressive form of brain cancer at the end. The chemo probably would have prevented it.
The decision you make needs to be one that you won't be second guessing somewhere down the road.
Mary

 

[Phyllis]

Dear Candy,
It sounds like you are getting as many professional opinions as possible and as a result will make an informed decision in the end. We wish you the best no matter the decision and we hope that you have a successful course of treatment and complete recovery.

 

[Karlynn]

Candy, you remain in my prayers.

Can I suggest that you take a few days "vacation" to clear your head and sort things out without all the hullabaloo that has surrounded you since you were diagnosed. If I were you, I would go with my gut, now that your gut has heard from the experts. But I really recommend taking a few days off, to go to a place, or make your home a place of comfort and relaxation with outside stimuli at a minimum, to think through this. Or even to not think about it. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to step back from an issue, it can become clearer.

 

[Jean]

Candy,

I can't help you make your decision...that is for you alone. As a two time breast cancer survivor (11 & 12 years) who had chemo and no radiation, I would say, you can survive it. All the different kinds breast cancer require different protocols. I think you are approaching it right...study and seek opinions and then make your best decision and don't look back. God bless.

 

[Candy]

Thank you, all, for taking the time to post.
Gina-Thanks for your input, especially the fact that you have done your homework. A friend, who has already been through it, and carries the gene, siad the same thing.
Mary- I am so sorry about your mother. It sounds like it was a truly horrific experience. You mentioned she chose not to do chmeo when it returned. I think if it were my 2nd bout, I would feel differently.
Jean- I would be curious to the circumstances of your cancer/tumor. Would you mind sending me an email or PM?
Karrlyn- Sadly, there is no time for time off right now. However, on Friday we are going to spend the day at Disneyland. We had promised mys on, who will be 6 next month, a trip there for his birthday. We are going a bit early because it looks like December might be a bit tough!
Meanwhile, I am trying to take deep breaths.

 

[Nancy]

Hi Candy-

I know we've talked a bit. But just want you to know that I am now about 7 weeks post chemo, and feel just fine, no fatigue, no aches and pains that I didn't have before. I am in radiation, and aside from a little tenderness, it's OK.

I had one of the tougher chemos, and I just wanted to let you know that it is doable if you decide to go that route. Not fun, but doable, and it does come to an end, and you do feel OK afterwards.

My hair it starting to grow back. I told my husband that I could just about make a pony tail at the back of my head. It would be a very short one, about a quarter of an inch long. But there is life in this old head. Will need a little L'Oreal color though.

 

[Karlynn]

However, on Friday we are going to spend the day at Disneyland.

I think this sounds like a good break. Being busy with having fun can take your mind off of things for a brief time. And sometimes things seem to take the opportunity to line up a little better, so that when they become your primary focus again, they seem clearer.

Best wishes.

 

[geebee]

Candy,
I truly hope an escape to Disneyland will make things seem a little smoother. Also, if you have a few extra hours, there is a place near Palos Verde that overlooks the ocean and is a great place to relax and think for awhile. It is on Palos Verde Drive East just past the "Riveria" section of Redondo Beach. Let me know if you need more info in case you get a chance to drive there.
Let us know what else we can do to make things a little calmer.
Smiles,
Gina

 

[Candy]

Nancy, I am so glad you are doing well with the radiation. I actually got marked and measured today, so if the chemo is a no go, I will start next Monday. Were you given AC? How many doses?
Gina- I live in the San Fernando Valley, so Disneyland is just a day trip. I think I may have been to a wedding near the place you mentioned in PV. Perhaps a drive down there on Saturday or Sunday will be in order! Jpw dp I get there? And how are you doing??????

 

[geebee]

Candy,
Just take PCH south (you could take the 405 out of the valley but you know it's not as pretty and, of course, THE TRAFFIC!!!. Continue on PCH through Redondo Beach and you will come to a fork where PCH goes straight and Palos Verde Blvd. goes off to the right. Take Palos Verde Blvd. on around (always to the right, at some point the road becomes Palos Verde Drive, West) and, after 4 miles or so you will go through a quaint little business section of town and you will come to many places that you can pull off to hang out with an ocean view, especially about 3-4 miles past the town. If you have not been to Portugese Bend, this road will take you there and it is an interesting place with lots of examples of where not to build a house. Past Portugese Bend is the area where Donald Trump is building his golf course/estates. We used to live just past that area on the edge of San Pedro.
The entire drive (without allowing for rest stops) will take 1-2 hours one way depending on traffic so allow the time so as not to miss anything.
Enjoy,
Gina

 

[Nancy]

Candy-

I had 6 cycles of CEF, every 3 weeks which is Cytoxan (Cyclophosphamide), Epirubicin (Ellence) and 5-FU (Fluorouracil)

 

[Bunny_Rabbit]

Hi Candy

I don't have cancer but it does run in my family like crazy. I know chemo isn't the most wonderful thing, but if it makes ANY difference in the long run, why wouldn't you jump at it?

I know vomiting and hair loss stink, but isn't the alternative possibly much, much, MUCH worse?

It's your choice. I just think there are worse things in life than chemo.

 

[Candy]

and the answer is...

and the answer is...

Well, dear friends, yesterday my husband and I spent 4 hours at the UCLA multicdisciplinary clinic. I met with a team of doctors who reviewed all of my info. They unanimously agreed that chemo was not necessary or recommended for me. The few possible percentage points did not out weigh the possible complications with chemo. Their pathologists actually "downgraded" my tumor from grade 3 (poorly differentiated) to grade 2 (moderately differentiated). They were in absolute agreement that because the tumor was so small, I was estrogen positive (good for Tamoxifen) and her2-nu negative, radiation and Tamoxifen would give me an excellent prognosis. I am so relieved. The past week Joe and I have both been leaning that way with our feelings. Info recieved prior to UCLA from friends and other doctors, and my own GUT, said I'd be fine without it. So now, I am geared up to start 33 treatments of radiation, beginning next week. I will be able to take my son to school in the morning, pick him up at 2:30, and still volunteer in his classroom one day a week, without fear of a weakened immune system. So today, we will enjoy our thanksgiving. Like all of you, I am so grateful to be alive today, and for this fabulous web site. I thank you again for all the loving posts during the past month. I will keep you all posted. Happy Thanksgiving.
Love,
Candy

 

[Nancy]

Good for you, Candy. Nice to have a definite plan. Have a wonderful and restful holiday. Radiation, so far, for me has been a non-issue. A little soreness, but honestly I completely forget about it when I'm moving around and doing things, haven't needed any meds for pain. I did purchase a silk sleeping bra to keep things from moving around during the night and I think that helps.

Good luck!

 

[Bryan B]

Great news Candy!!!

I hope you and the entire vr.com family have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

 

[Phyllis]

Wonderful news, Candy!
We wish you a great Thanksgiving and an easy time with the radiation.