things just got real.

[harrietW]

So today I got a confirmation call for my pre op appointment December 8th and then all of the sudden I thought to myself this really is happening that this is finally real. After two and a half years or more actually. So many times it felt real, it was even scary And many times I wondered if this is ever going to happen. And even meeting the sergeon didn't seem real . My pre op appt has been set since Sept 23 but after last weeks disappointing conversation that surgery was going to be bumped from Dec to Jan l was so sad that again nothing seemed real. Then l got a call this morning and ordered for blood work and paper work and a directive if l had one and l began to shake. Wow !!! Things just got real l said out loud to myself as l hung up the phone. So l drive up to Calgary next Tuesday am to meet the team and consult with the Anesthesiologist x-rays And anything else required. I have so many mixed emotions last week l thought for a minute that l was actually getting depressed. . Just pre surgery jitters l hope.
I will keep you posted as to how l make out.

This is also My Busiest time of year other than March so I'm hoping I will be healed by March or at least enough to go back to work for my busy spring season. I will actually slow down and get through this day. I have to remind myself all the time one step at a time don't get ahead of yourself.

Xx

 

[Paleowoman]

Wishing you well for your pre-op ! I remember my pre-op appointment and how at that point I had almost a sense of excitement that it was really going to happen and the stress and anxiety of all the waiting would soon be over.

 

[harrietW]

Oh Ann that is exactly how l feel !!
Thank you Paliogirl l must be right on track ❤

 

[almost_hectic]

I was nervous going into my prep appointment. But once I got there everyone was so nice and so good at what they did it brought me such a relief and any nervousness was quickly replaced by confidence! Wish you well. March will be here before you know it!

 

[honeybunny]

So glad things have things have shifted in the right direction! Stay positive!

 

[harrietW]

Thank you honeybunny ❤ hope you are doing well. Xx

Almost_hectic the nervousness is sure to come and go. Sometimes I do feel like l'm racing to bet the clock. I haven't done a directive yet because l plan on coming through this without a glitch but lm also a realist so l better right something up. Cross my t's dot my i's and get my place in order for my return home after surgery. And of course my suitcase has been paced since August hahahaha! I've had way to much time to think.
Thx u l will let you know how it goes. Xx

 

[Seaton]

Sending good thoughts your way and wishing you much wellness for the coming weeks.

 

[harrietW]

Seaton thank you so much really appreciate it! Xx

 

[dreamwarrior13]

harrietW The waiting room period is seriously one of the worst parts of the whole AVR experience. I remember how horrible and unreal it felt to just keep waiting and taking tests and wishing it was all just over with already (even though I was terrified of surgery), only to watch my deadline get pushed back. Twice.

Good luck with your surgery and your recovery! Before you know it, you'll be back on your feet (and feeling so much better).

 

[harrietW]

Thank you at dreamwarrior13
I know hey ! I am even anxious today waiting to see my GP and then to the lab for all my workup tests blood etc. Lol crazy isn't it. !
Thx you for good thoughts Xx

 

[Superbob]

Wow, Harriet, your thoughts of pre-op brought back my memories of facing that almost 11 years ago. It is only natural to feel nervous or anxious. We've been there. And indeed it was kind of surreal finally going through that, although all the nurses and other personnel were very nice. Will be continuing to send you best thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted -- you soon will be through with the waiting room, and have the needed procedure and be ready to start anew. Do keep us posted.

 

[harrietW]

Super Bob
First of all thank you surreal not serial lol !! And yes can be a bit insanity running through my head l couldn't imagine 11 yrs however doctors sent me for ekg for years and years l had many symptoms and never any findings .. but it's amazing how my Aortic valve went so quickly from mild to sever where as my Mitral has been sever now for 2.5 yrs .. l am soooo ready !!
I will stay posted Thx u Xx

 

[MethodAir]

This is good news harrietW. Time to fix the problems and enjoy renewed health.

 

[Paleowoman]

And of course my suitcase has been paced since August hahahaha! I've had way to much time to think.

Because I haven't got a small suitcase some friends lent me just the right size one about two months before my AVR. In it they'd put a lovely pack of soap and shower gel and relaxing oils just for my stay in hospital. I had my case packed well before so I could have all the things I thought I might need when the time came. Even down to a note pad and pen

 

[pellicle]

Hi

I'd like to echo the thoughts expressed that its good to get it on and get it into a position of actually returning you to good health.

Part of the problem with waiting so long is that we tend to twist things in our minds and sort of externalize the idea that its somehow not yourself but a fictional self.

So today I got a confirmation call for my pre op appointment December 8th and then all of the sudden I thought to myself this really is happening that this is finally real.

Perhaps this blog post may provide a view that's helpful (although not about surgery as much as human thinking habits

http://cjeastwd.blogspot.com/2015/09...-delusion.html

Particularly with the following in mind...

This is also My Busiest time of year other than March so I'm hoping I will be healed by March or at least enough to go back to work for my busy spring season. I will actually slow down and get through this day. I have to remind myself all the time one step at a time don't get ahead of yourself.

Try to take this situation as a practical example of seeing what is important ... really important ... in life.

Best wishes

 

[harrietW]

MethodAir
It is great news and thank you. Time for new is right and be on the mend l have prayed long and hard for this to come and be a reality.

Paliogirl what a nice thing for your friends to do for you. What a great gesture.

Pellicle
Thx you and l couldn't agree more the mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes delusion gets the best of me. I am going to read the blog in the link forsure.
And absolutely time to keep it real.
One thing l do know in my life us what's important and what is not. Perspective on my life forsure.
I go on about what l do for a living because it is a passion and very therapeutic and one of the best decisions l have ever made for myself and has aforded me comfortable sence of security something l haven't always had.
I will let you know what I think of the article.

 

[harrietW]

Pellicle
Great read and l do not for one second think l'm in control of a single thing but also have lived most of my life delusional for several reasons one being l am a sober alcohol addict which l have mentioned a few time here on the site. l am pretty open about that and for that reason alone l have lived more than half my life delusional. l have had much in my life or mostly all things in which l have no control and even though l sometimes don't act like it l know that something much greater and all powerful has and will continue to have all control. I trust that if he brings me to it he will get me through it. This last year alone is a great Testament to that I have suffered great losses in my life and I know God's got my back. But that doesn't mean l am any less delusional from time to time and as much as l would like to say that l am not in denial l am infact still in denial about much in my life on one hand and know a great deal about the reality in the other . My heart disease isn't the only thing wrong with me trust me lol and that is one thing l am curtainly not in denial over.
Great read !!! Thx you

 

[pellicle]

Hi

Thanks for sharing some of your story Harriet

Pellicle
Great read and l do not for one second think l'm in control of a ... Thx you

I'm sorry to hear that you have had some demons in your past, I can only say that its how we walk our paths which defines us, not the path itself.

Shalom

 

[epstns]

Harriet - Congratulations on getting to this point! I remember that I waited around 10 years from diagnosis to surgery, and went through many periods of up and down anxiety. Surprisingly, once I was actually "on the trail" all became calm. I knew that all of my decisions had been made, my plans were set, and all I had to do was "work the plan." I just kept up with all my meds and appointments and soon enough I was on the way to the hospital for surgery. It all just flowed. My anxiety level dropped way down and I just got on with it.

I'm sure you will find your own version of my inner calm, and you will do just fine. Keep us posted - we'll keep the lights on for you.

 

[harrietW]

Epstns
Thank you for your kind words.
I couldn't imagine having to knowingly wait for as many years as yourself and others. The stress level most curtainly has be up and down. I will say that l have calmned down alot in the last couple of days however couldn't be more exhausted partly relief and cardio rehab this week has been brutal. So many other things going on in life and trying to be all things for all people is taking its toll.
All blood work completed yesterday but other heath issue recognized as potential problems. I just need to get through this next couple of months.
Thanks again Steve l am doing great all things considered.