The shock value PO.

[Ovie]

I wanted to bring up a subject I have yet to see.

As I was sitting in our breakfast room the other day alone eating my cereal, I had about a quick moment of "omg I had open heart surgery". Now I find (not all cases) that with as routine as OHS, and the medical advances that we have today, leave us feeling, I should say numb to recognizing the severity of what we have gone through. Before we are anxious, scared, stressed, but I think ready when it comes down to the big show.

Growing up, I remember being young..middle school, high school and you hear about heart surgery, or brain surgery, and you just look at it as this horrifying thing, that could never happen to you. I know alot of you knew about issues most of your life, but myself..and I'm sure I don't stand alone find out out of nowhere that we have problems.

Now I'm probably just ranting, and possibly making no sense. But the point I'm trying to get at is, do you think as a society we have become numb to the actual dangers of what we went into because of how routine it is? I'm sure the argument of, well it's so normal to do these days you have nothing to worry about. I know we acknowledge it, we don't try and dwell on it, we do what we have to to stay healthy. Maybe I stand alone on the topic, but just that moment of almost shock the other day of...WOW, in this one my life that I've been given, I had my heart cut into, my lifeline, the thing that keeps me alive...yet I walked into that hospital calm and collective.

I hope you all know what I'm trying to say, and if not I'm sorry for rambling, it was more of just a food for thought on how we've become desensitized to such large issues.

Also I'm speaking for myself, I didn't mean to use the words US and WE so much. By no means am I speaking on anybody's behalf but my own. Just crazy to really go deep into thought about. I feel more shocked after than before TBH.

 

[Bill B]

I think I understand your feeling. This is MAJOR surgery - about as major as it gets. It's just that it has become so common and well practiced, that it is remarkably safe and effective, and so we diminish its significance. But for me too, this was a HUGE life event. Even though I had little fear about it and it went pretty well, it still had a big impact on me. It changed me forever. I am much more conscious of my mortality and no longer walk around as if I'm going to live forever. I'm much more attuned to trying to figure out what I really need to do with the rest of my life.

I have this partially bionic heart and woven cloth aorta and it seems so significant that I'd expect people should be able to tell somehow what happened to me, as if I had an artificial leg. But they can't tell, and it all works so well that I function essentially as if nothing at all happened. I have such a high likelihood that it will never fail that it is a almost a non-issue in terms of my health concerns. But I know it's there and it influences my attitudes and enters my thoughts throughout the day.

 

[Mom2izzy]

​

I think society as a whole (you know...those regular people who haven't gone through OHS) still view it as they scary, major, big deal. I know that people I told before hand were completely freaked out. My boss even started crying, and we all pretty much believed she was an ice queen. Now when I tell people, they seem to think I should still be in the hospital, or at least, at home in bed. I hope they go back to treating me like normal soon.

I know what you mean about it popping into your head every once in a while. I often think, "I can't BELIEVE that I let someone cut into my heart! Especially because I was still asymptomatic!". I feel that way less frequently now than I did just after surgery, and I expect that it will fade with my scar

Bottom line for me is I'm glad it's routine, and I'm glad it's over, and I'm glad (knock on wood) I shouldn't ever have to do it again!

ETA: I feel very lucky that this was my MAJOR surgery. There are other conditions, problems and issues that can be so much worse!

 

[FC in Texas]

Good questions, Ovie. I think your post identifies the dichotomy of the thing. That OHS is a really big deal, scary, dangerous and life changing. At the same time, as we all prepared for our surgeries, we were comforted by the fact that there are so many done successfully every single day. I remember how bizarre it was that I was so worried about the surgery and yet the surgeon and the folks in the OR that morning got up, ate some breakfast, had a cup of coffee and cut into a couple of chests every day. Not sure that I am adding anything helpful to your thinking, but I suppose I am just saying that OMG, we did just have OHS and, yet yes, it seems to have become pretty routine. I am glad for us that to our docs it was just another day in the office.

 

[AgilityDog]

Yes, it is both a big scary deal, and very ordinary. I (somewhat smugly) believe we valvers have rougher surgery than bypass patients, because bypass is so "ordinary." Of course I am wrong.

And it is life changing, especially for those of us who never quite get back what we lost. We learn to deal with a new "normal" which can be a very good "normal" but it may not be quite what other people have as "normal." In my case, with an EF of 40 to 45%, I have mild CHF. My heart can't compensate for high exercise demand, so when the air/blood/energy reserve is shot, it's gone. My running has limits.

I get what you mean about wishing people would stop treating you like you are going to break. It took me a year or more to get my husband and close friends to back off and quit hovering. But I still run into it. Literally.

Last night in agility class, after 5 runs inside an hour, I ran out of air at the tail end of my last run. How many times have people seen me do this?? I just have to quit, and Jet jumps around me barking because I "hit the wall" and stopped without finishing the run. One lady was hovering like "are you ok? are you ok?" I got rather p.o.ed, and of course I couldn't talk because I was trying to get my breath back.

My instructor, Jodi, said -"Oh, she's just out of air. I can tell when it's coming because she stops giving verbals to Jet." Thank you Jodi. That's the right attitude.

Once I got my breath back I just fussed "Look, I have heart failure! My heart does not pump as well as everyone else's! Don't worry about me unless I fall down." Crappola, how many times have they seen me hit the wall and run out of air???? At least once every class, to a greater or lesser extent. Don't act like I'm going to break. Don't worry about me unless I fall down, either fainting or hitting my head. Let me do my thing. My cardio is well aware of what I'm doing, and its perfectly safe. I know when I have to stop, and someday I may have to give it up, but not just yet.

 

[selma]

I absolutely understand. Sometimes I feel like half the world (my journal friends) is verging on being positively cavalier about the whole thing, and the other half (people in my life who I have to tell) are ready to plan my eulogy! The truth lies somewhere in between. I know when I'm kind of joking around about how much I'll enjoy the time off, or how much reading I'll get done, or whatever, I feel fundamentally better than when people are being ever-so-serious and telling me how "brave" I am. I was at a board meeting recently and one of the people there outed me as a soon-to-be OHS patient. People were concerned and acting from a caring place, but the fact that they made the whole thing so "heavy" didn't work well for me. I was kind of depressed the next day. And that's not good for me as my surgery date gets closer. I need to stay "up."

I think part of the whole "OHS OMG" factor, as I call it, comes from the fact that lots of us were alive before OHS started happening. In the 60s and 70s, it *was* a big deal. It was HUGE. Now, not so much but that memory remains. Great post, Ovie. Thanks!

 

[Dgreenbee]

I bet your dogs are glad you're back at it!

 

[Bina]

Yes, Ovie, every once in a while the "shock" of OHS rears it's head.....but we are survivors of modern medical procedures.

 

[Eva]

Ovie,

this surgery had an impact on me...I no longer take anything for granted! I consider myself lucky that i had it at the the it bacame a routine! Otherwise, i would not have been still around for the last three years. I pray everyday that modern technology will be able as well to help all those with no chances with their medical issues.

OMG, someone cracked my chest and took my heart out! :eek2: :angel:

 

[Boston Tiger]

OHS is a big change. I have noticed that by the responses that others have when they see me doing normal things, since they seem to think that having heart surgery makes you some sort of delicate creature. They don't understand how wonderful it is to be able to do some of the tasks that had become so difficult leading up to the surgery. I just wish I hadn't waited so long for mine, because I hit the point where some permanent damage was done.

The biggest change I have noticed is to my attitude. I let a lot more stuff slide now than in the past, as that glimpse of my own mortality as I headed into surgery altered my priorities. I like to go by Greg's closing line and enjoy life!

 

[Greg a]

Really does elicit a double take

 

[Ovie]

I just find it to be a fascinating revelation to be honest. I really like whoever talked about how people who haven't had OHS view thing(sorry I can't look I'm on my phone).Because I was that way, as I'm sure many of us did. I find it shocking, but I also just find it so cool to an extent. It just sounds so extreme, and it is..but it's so casual. The thing that blows my mind mostly is the survival rate...I know as time has gone by and we advance in modern medicine and surgery technique..that at the end of the day..we are still having our life cut open.

I don't know, weird topic, but it was on my mind and loved what everybody had to say..it's neat to see how people change and also if they actually ever fully embrace what really happened.

Ok ok I'm going to deep now I'm done!

 

[sarahsunshine]

I can't quite look at it in terns of OMG I had OHS, since it was my step son who did, but I do quite put it in a similar category as "OMG you got in a really bad car accident". I have a couple friends who have gone through that (broken necks, comas etc...), and really put the recovery in a similar. I am just very relieved that we live in an age where all of us can look back and say "Isn't it amazing and wonderful that we can live through these things and come out with 'normal' life." Yes I do take a step back and think about how a century ago many of us would not have survived such incidents, and how nice it is that we can, now.

 

[TheGymGuy]

Ovie, this is a great post. I love how modern medicine has progressed and lets us go through something like OHS and come out alive from the other end.

I find myself very thankful for the events that transpired and so far I have not had much special treatment from many people in regards to my OHS. My guess is that most people that you let close enough to get to know you, will simply know better, and then one's that want to treat you like a crystal vase will either stop with time or will get set straight.

Either way, I would have to say that I think we as a society have progressed far enough to trust modern medicine with such complicated procedures as OHS. I, personally, feel lucky to have found VR.org because while I understood the rationale behind OHS being routine and survivable, it is not until after many folks on here has helped me out to really believe in it.

 

[tabitha]

YES! This hits me about once a day (I'm still pre-op, to go in on May 10). I keep thinking "holy F___ I'm going to have OHS!". Sometimes I can brush it away thinking "Hey no biggie, lots of folks do it" and other times the thought leaves me in a huge weeping pile of mess on my bedroom floor (some of that could be the postpartum hormones and it usually happens when I think about my 11 week old baby)

It's huge, huge surgery that I am thankful for that we live in a time where some people can fee like it's normal and routine. I do find comfort in that.

 

[dcc617]

After my OHS, I felt it was a walk in the part compared to the open gall bladder surgery I had. That was FAR worse that this. I'm lucky though - everything was positively textbook. Given my partner is a nurse and we have a big circle of nurse friends, my care both in-hospital and after couldn't have been better. I was alone at the time I had the GB surgery and that was difficult.

I can't believe that 2 months ago I was recovering from surgery. My energy is higher than it's been in years, I've lost weight and I feel GREAT!

 

[DanielB]

Until I got educated about the surgery and how common and safe it was (thanks in large part to this forum), I had a lot of moments where I'd take a step back and say dang, I'm going to have OHS! Then, as I learned more and prepared, it did become mostly another task that my life had for me to take on. I say 'mostly' in that sure, every now and then, especially if I give into the temptation to grumble about some small bump in recovery, I stop myself and say, wow, I had OHS -- they cracked my sternum open, stopped, then cut open my heart, threw in a new valve, rebooted it and sewed me back up. When you consider all that and the fact I'm back to a pretty normal routine now, it's all good. The old saying 'don't sweat the small stuff' and 'it's all small stuff' has taken on a whole new meaning for me now.

Dan