gijanet
Well-known member
So sorry for just leaving y’all hanging on one cheek, but, as y’all have probably already deduced from my last post on the derriere hoax, I was, sadly, not reunited with my wayward butt. It remains MIA, and we have re-released the APB for it now that we have a facsimile of a picture to put with the posting.
We were late, of course, due to taking Don’s “shortcut” through bumper-to-bumper, stop and get out to party with your neighbor before inching on, traffic. Niki beat us to Mary’s hotel by a good thirty minutes or so – thus, leaving lots of time for them to plot against me. Niki generously donated the “mole” for my butt cake. Don’t even ask me how she knew where it is located. This inquiring mind doesn’t want to know…………………..and even though I know it was really just a chocolate chip, it still grosses me out to this day when I think about Katie’s picking that mole off my butt and eating it………….ewwwwww!
Now, I love Mary to death, so I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she claims that my butt ran off. She claims that she was packing the car to leave, placed it gently in the backseat, went inside to make another trip, and, when she came back out, my butt was gone, but the fake was there in its place. I am just having a really difficult time buying that story. First, my butt likes the backseats of cars and has many fond memories of backseats, so why would it run off? Second, why would my butt be suffering an identity crisis at its age? Why would it be going out to try and “find itself” after all these years? Is it middle-age crazy? Third, why wouldn’t it want to come back to me? True, I may run it a little bit ragged, stuff my head up it once in a while, and occasionally misplace it……………………or, what if it was kidnapped? Why is Mary so "sure" that it ran off? Hmmm, answer me that! Y’all did try and warn me that she might grow to attached to it……….heehee!
And she and her husband did graciously wine and dine us, so they might just be expecting a little a*s in return. I thought that was a male thing, though, not a Missouri thing! Live and learn!
After dinner, Katie demanded “butt cake.” (In fact, she has been running around here the past few days chanting, “butt cake, butt cake, I want a piece of butt cake.” Sheesh! Hope she hasn’t been saying that at pre-K. I’ll be in the Chaplain’s office, for sure, trying to explain my way out of that one………..) Even though I knew it was a fake, it still pained me to cut into it with that knife…………then Mary had the audacity to ask Katie if it really looked like Mommy’s butt…………
On a happy note, my butt does seem to be regenerating itself, so this might still be one for the medical anals, oh, I mean annals. And it was so nice to finally meet Mary (and her husband, Bob, of course). She was sweet enough to find a hotel with an indoor pool, so Trip and Katie could go swimming……………course, Katie, being forever Katie, had no qualms about stripping down “butt nekkid” in front of everyone – tried to do it at the pool until I stopped her. I really, really hope she outgrows this before she is fifteen……………sigh!
And it was wonderful seeing Niki again, even though it seems to take an out of town valver or surgery to get get us together………ya know, little things like that………..she looks great. I mean it. I think the new job is doing wonders for her stess level.
And Mary looks great, too, even though I know she is still struggling with her shoulder. With all of Katie’s trials and tribulations this year, I sometimes forget that Mary is a recently inducted member of the valve group, too. I really can’t wait to see her again. Ya know, the first few minutes upon "meeting" are a bit awkward, but then all of that just melts away and you feel like you have known each other for years……….
Okay, got to scoot. Katie has just thrown up for the sixth time tonight, poor thing. She says that she should have thrown that bug up out of her by now……………I agree…………up out of her ...........and into the rest of us sometime soon, I am sure…………….sigh! Mary, NIki, I apologize now if y’all get sick. You saw her, though, loaded for bear Friday night and feeling fine, but I have no idea what the incubation period is on this thing. I hope y’all don’t get it and I hope this is all behind us soon ‘cuz I am already wiped out……….pun intended, of course! Just wondering now if you can get E.coli from butt cake………..heehee!
Well, back to running around half-as*ed and drowning in body secretions……………not the good kind, either……………..sigh! Many hugs. J. P.S. Don't forget to ask Mary about her travel size crystal ball.
We were late, of course, due to taking Don’s “shortcut” through bumper-to-bumper, stop and get out to party with your neighbor before inching on, traffic. Niki beat us to Mary’s hotel by a good thirty minutes or so – thus, leaving lots of time for them to plot against me. Niki generously donated the “mole” for my butt cake. Don’t even ask me how she knew where it is located. This inquiring mind doesn’t want to know…………………..and even though I know it was really just a chocolate chip, it still grosses me out to this day when I think about Katie’s picking that mole off my butt and eating it………….ewwwwww!
Now, I love Mary to death, so I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she claims that my butt ran off. She claims that she was packing the car to leave, placed it gently in the backseat, went inside to make another trip, and, when she came back out, my butt was gone, but the fake was there in its place. I am just having a really difficult time buying that story. First, my butt likes the backseats of cars and has many fond memories of backseats, so why would it run off? Second, why would my butt be suffering an identity crisis at its age? Why would it be going out to try and “find itself” after all these years? Is it middle-age crazy? Third, why wouldn’t it want to come back to me? True, I may run it a little bit ragged, stuff my head up it once in a while, and occasionally misplace it……………………or, what if it was kidnapped? Why is Mary so "sure" that it ran off? Hmmm, answer me that! Y’all did try and warn me that she might grow to attached to it……….heehee!
And she and her husband did graciously wine and dine us, so they might just be expecting a little a*s in return. I thought that was a male thing, though, not a Missouri thing! Live and learn!
After dinner, Katie demanded “butt cake.” (In fact, she has been running around here the past few days chanting, “butt cake, butt cake, I want a piece of butt cake.” Sheesh! Hope she hasn’t been saying that at pre-K. I’ll be in the Chaplain’s office, for sure, trying to explain my way out of that one………..) Even though I knew it was a fake, it still pained me to cut into it with that knife…………then Mary had the audacity to ask Katie if it really looked like Mommy’s butt…………
On a happy note, my butt does seem to be regenerating itself, so this might still be one for the medical anals, oh, I mean annals. And it was so nice to finally meet Mary (and her husband, Bob, of course). She was sweet enough to find a hotel with an indoor pool, so Trip and Katie could go swimming……………course, Katie, being forever Katie, had no qualms about stripping down “butt nekkid” in front of everyone – tried to do it at the pool until I stopped her. I really, really hope she outgrows this before she is fifteen……………sigh!
And it was wonderful seeing Niki again, even though it seems to take an out of town valver or surgery to get get us together………ya know, little things like that………..she looks great. I mean it. I think the new job is doing wonders for her stess level.
And Mary looks great, too, even though I know she is still struggling with her shoulder. With all of Katie’s trials and tribulations this year, I sometimes forget that Mary is a recently inducted member of the valve group, too. I really can’t wait to see her again. Ya know, the first few minutes upon "meeting" are a bit awkward, but then all of that just melts away and you feel like you have known each other for years……….
Okay, got to scoot. Katie has just thrown up for the sixth time tonight, poor thing. She says that she should have thrown that bug up out of her by now……………I agree…………up out of her ...........and into the rest of us sometime soon, I am sure…………….sigh! Mary, NIki, I apologize now if y’all get sick. You saw her, though, loaded for bear Friday night and feeling fine, but I have no idea what the incubation period is on this thing. I hope y’all don’t get it and I hope this is all behind us soon ‘cuz I am already wiped out……….pun intended, of course! Just wondering now if you can get E.coli from butt cake………..heehee!
Well, back to running around half-as*ed and drowning in body secretions……………not the good kind, either……………..sigh! Many hugs. J. P.S. Don't forget to ask Mary about her travel size crystal ball.
